Tuesday, January 31, 2017



I hope
My intention is clear
So much that
It echoes
In every step
I make

So much that
Traces of it
Even when
I am no longer

So much that
It resonates
In recognition
With yours

So much that
If it were
I'd get
A warning

And then
I'd fix it again
That intention
I hold dear


My boss once asked, you are doing this for them, do they ever do it for you? And I just smiled. More than anything, I do it for me. There are so much in this world to be thankful about, and I pray hard, that I'd be that vehicle of mercy, and that, even if it was a small act, I have made your life a bit better, at least for that moment in time.


Friday, January 06, 2017

i thought of you


I thought of you
More so
Now that
You are leaving

I thought of words
Left unspoken
Then wrote them down
As a token

If hearts could talk
Can they recognise
One another,
Yours and mine?


Some people, are just so beautiful, that you cannot help but feed off their loveliness. I hope my knowing you, will be one of the many ways, to make this life, a good one to live in. Even if short.


Thursday, December 15, 2016



To think
You may not
Love me
After all 


A pain
Akin to
An angina

Allow me
To unthink
Such possibility

Even if
It is probable
I would still
Pray for you


I am in love with a person so wonderfully kind. At times I wished I was noticed but most of all, I wish you peace and happiness and that you be closer to God. I wish for you, a place in His Heavens. Besides prayers, I am just too scared to go to you. 

In love all the same, 

Sunday, October 16, 2016



Every time I try,
They get held back
My words.

They got stuck,
Somewhere between
My heart and my lips.

Or sometimes,
Tears welled
Then endlessly fell.


I met a cat today, it looked so much in pain.
I can see that it was weak.
And it is trying hard to keep up.
With whatever struggle it was in.
The cat treats did not seem to work.
Even as I offer them out of my hands.
I noticed then, it was ?crying.
And stroked the cat, hoping somehow, there was comfort in that.
I turned away to wash my hands.
And when I looked back, you were not there anymore.

We had a cat once, and the only time it disappeared, it left us forever.


I was brought to reminisce a mission I held dear, that is, to make a little good in the lives that I have met. I hope when I die, there are no bad thoughts of me. I hope when I die, people would pray for my well being in the Hereafter, when they think of me. I dare not ask for more, even if my heart longs for it.

I wished, I was loved in return

But that is too much,

Saturday, September 24, 2016

and if you love me


Hey you, thanks, 
For the thoughts
And the small gifts
Oh, you helped me out there
And I see that
You want to spend
More time with me?

If you love me
For goodnes sake

Then say the words


Sometimes, there is a thin line between hugging someone out of gratitude and punching them in the face for inflicting confusion. 

I wish I had the guts to ask, exactly where do we stand.
Cause you know, the punching in the face is something I'd consider trading a heartbreak with.

Not a gentlelady,

Sunday, September 18, 2016

i could do with a shoulder


A shoulder to cry on?

It is tiring, to comfort everyone. It is tiring to tell every single person that there is nothing left to be done, and how like you are deeply rooted in your persona, my dear, so is everybody else, so stop telling me about others being themselves.

Do yourself a favour, and start changing your delusional thoughts of people trying to get at you. Arghhh.

And I cannot say all this out loud cause I know it will hurt your pride so much and bridges will burn.


I sometimes wish I could break much easily, then maybe I can shut off all these noises.

Too strong? Or simply too numbed to feel.

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it


Thanks for trusting me so much to have told me things though.
I wish I could trust someone enough.
But of course, that is too much to ask.

*finds a mirror

I cannot even trust myself.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

not mine


What I have
Was never mine to begin with
If I were borrowed
I would want me back
In a state
Where I know
I have been used well
That I have served my purpose
And I have done so


Today is a day, to be grateful for my brain, to be grateful for my ATPs, to be grateful for my heart, to be grateful that I have lived again.

One day at a time,