come back

Bismillah

Cause you bright up the shadowy part of my life

Cause I like having you around

Don't go~ 😢

- confession of a hopeless dreamer in love with a dream guy -

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Oh well, like how bad things come to an end, good things do that too. Reaching an end, that is. Feelings are there only because we allow it to roam free and grow, with our own desires and thoughts.

By thinking about it, we start to develop our perfect images of a person, a persona moulded from our interpretation of a great relationship.

By thinking about it, we also spend less time to shape ourselves into being that oh-so-awesome-being we have planned to be. Which is a great loss, really.

Gaaaa~ how much time have I wasted with these thoughts, I now come to regret. :(

When what I actually wanted was for me to be able to give as much as I could. And for that, the only perfect partner is a supportive one. And Mama and Hana are both playing a great part in that. :)

Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. Sorry, i am so sorry for being so lost. Please always lead me right, lead me true. Lead me to bring the best out of me and the people around me, regardless the circumstance. :)

Love eveything,
Nora

things happen

Bismillah

I write when I'm happy.
I write when I'm sad.
I write when I'm bored.
I write when I'm excited.
I write when I'm surrounded.
I write when I'm alone.

With time, it proved to be a sound method of relieving myself from the expectations I had drawn for myself, and regrettably, on the expectations I have on people around me.

Writing coaches me, after err spilling all my frustation, to look at things in simpler ways.

Writing coaches me to take the first few steps to vulnerability. And my, that helped faced the many surprises this life have in store.

Keeping things bottled up isn't actually a good thing, and I find writing lets me concoct how to present what I feel, lest the other party gave up trying to understand.
(I am not very good at conveying emotions)



-----

And I thank God for being able to write.

I thank God on how it has become a great tool of well being.

-----

I am meeting a bestfriend today.

And come Sunday, I will have the escape that I longed for. InshaAllah.

Come Nora, make the most of what you have.

And what you have is a lot, now that I think of it.

In front of 7E after a loooong day at work. God surprises in many ways. Giving you chances you've only heard in stories. :')

And back in Prague, someone is a doctor as of yesterday. :) :) :)

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar.

silver lining

Bismillah

"Mungkin sekali, jalan ini, adalah asbabnya untuk ke SyurgaMu"

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As a state of matter, I am, undeniably, physically and emotionally burnt out. All work and very little room for rejuvenating has drained productivity off of me.

I hate how getting to work now scares the life out of me. Never have the nauseated and pre-syncopal feelings approach me as much as it had to do with this, than with other postings.

Now that I am writing this, I think I know exactly why I dreaded this branch of the job so much. Subconsciously, an embedded hatred towards something associated close with my liking this field, has not been put to stop.

All the while, I thought it has stopped, but I had let it destroy my existence. Why in the world did I let it do that?

:'(

I am so so tired yet I must keep my tongue and say that I am not.

Why can't I be more vulnerable?

I want to escape, but I'm imprisoned in my own shell.

I can only go so far, for I am afraid of the lack of support.

If I've climbed the highest mountain, I am afraid that all I get from people that matter most to me, when I fall, is a smirk. And the serve-you-right attitude.

And I am so so afraid to make connections, cause if I screw that, they say I made friends with the wrong crowd.

I don't know where this is going.

I don't even know why I must write this now.

Work is in 3 hours time.

-----

I need a break. And maybe, a psychiatrist.

who you?

Bismillah.

O&G is not something I am fond of.
And I am having a really hard time.

What with the range of barbaric medical officers this particular department has, it is so so hard to remember who I am these days.

I am always regretting, for not giving my killer (betul ke?) smile at a nurse who was giving me a malignant stare that day. <-- are="" better="" i="" in="" learnt="" malignant="" medical="" more="" nbsp="" of="" p="" people="" that="" the="" they="" to="" treat="" warmer="" will="" you.="" you="">
-----

I am a kind person.
And a foul act from others shouldn't make me meconial (get the joke? kekeke) like they are.

BE NICE NORA, NICE IS NEVER OUT OF STYLE.

And be the best version of you :)

Working life is a challenge to spread goodness and make others spread them too. Be an agent of mercy. Go on, you can do this! :D

-----

I miss the kiddos in Paeds! I sure do!

The bright side of O&G is the post natal reviews, which come with babies. And the baby updates! Heeee...

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Teruskan berusaha!
Nora 

errr

Bismillah

*browses through home page*
Ohkay.. that's quite a number of pending posts.
And I am fiction-deprived.

Gotta sort out working life.
Like, stat.

Gaaaaaahhhh <--- aaaaanddd="" attempt="" compartmentalize="" desperate="" hahaha.="" it="" not="" p="" s="" thoughts..="" to="" working.="">
God save me, from what I have become.
I wanna be a Jedi, not a Doctor.

Haha.

Crazy woman,
Nora

short escape

Bismillah.

When you have very little time of your own, even a drive is a wonderful wonderful thing.

And I thank God for a car of my own.

:)

Tomorrow, lets take the long way, for another short escape.

near

Bismillah

I feel parched. My heart feels dry.

I feel worthless. As if my efforts are wasted.

I feel like I can't go on. Cause I can't see a path. Not here nor there.

My body aches from all the motions. But I feel stationary.

I don't know anymore.

-----

Sometimes it may seem dark, buy the absence of the light is a necessary part.

At least I've learned to cry again.

In desperate need of Ramadhan,
Nora