breakdown the wall

Bismillah.

Good gosh, I AM TWENTY FOUR. That's like 2 dozens. Haha. Alhamdulillah, still alive, and learning lots about life though I still have so much areas to improve on. No matter, that come in stages.

There's nothing to lose when you've given your all, it is when you're stagnant that you need to be afraid. :) Take proactive steps and when you're comfortable, improve on it. Change does not happen with a snap of the fingers, in fact, it may take years, but be sure to take an active part in the process! :)

I was thinking about my death day. Cause it would be more significant than my birthday. And if I were to die now, I'm afraid to think of where I'd end up, or rather, I'm afraid I know where I'll end up. :( Nauseous just thinking about it. Owh when will I ever be eligible? :( Please please help me O Allah, for I can't do anything on my own. Anything at all.

I know it's the final year and all, but I know for sure that I can't live like a hermit because of that. Haha. In fact, this is the year where I have to acknowledge the importance of spending my time wisely. It's a good thing to be able to cut down on watching dramas. :D If I could pat myself in the back for, that would be it. Alhamdulillah. That took up a lot of strength at first. And now, it isn't so hard.

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Anyway, these past couple of weeks have been quite hard, I am under a lot of stress, most from the fictitious threat I impose upon myself.

To that I'm telling myself, some things need time, so for those, you gotta be patient Nora!

Then, there's also the Paediatrics exam. I worry a lot about that. It's one of my favourite branch of study and to think that I'll be inadequate is quite sad actually. I wanted a later date, but failed to obtain one. And the preparation isn't so good but the exam dates are limited, and it won't be till summer for the next attempt. So yeah, it is something I have to go for no matter what. At least it keeps me studying. Studying harder than usual. Which brings us to the whole purpose of being a student. Kekeke.

And honestly, I shouldn't worry THAT much. :) I live within His care. The possibilities are endless. And having lived these 24 years, remember all the things Allah has brought you to and through with. Do it with the right intention, then, no matter the result, it would all be worth it! ^^

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I always wondered why I can't study like everybody else. And then, a textbook definition told me that that's the way I am. So I need to struggle a lil' more.

:P