supply

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Allah is the guardian of those who believe. He brings them out of the darkness into the light; and (as to) those who disbelieve, their guardians are Shaitans who take them out of the light into the darkness; they are the inmates of fire, in it they shall abide.

Al Baqarah; 257

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If you've been give something really good, naturally, you would go back and get more of it. Kan?
And when it is about to finish, you would want to ask around, so that you don't run out of supply.

Unnecessary things keep creeping up in my mind lately. The more I let it linger, the more I feel I might burst because of it. Shoo~ Go away stupid thoughts!

TAPI KAN, God had helped me the last time by an advice that goes by returning to Him. And it made me so calm and happy and relieved. *insert mata anime bersinar-sinar* And that the best part of being a slave is that, there are things you can't control and it's okay, leave it to Him. *cue the song Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift*

Okay, supply yang dimaksudkan adalah untuk ada masa bawa jiwa aku mengingati balik status hamba tersebut. Sebab aku rasa selamat daripada Dunya time-time camtu. Dan perasaan itu *cue running around and bouncing in cotton candy* boleh digambarkan, dengan perkataan, RINGAN. Like the weight is off your shoulder. It's not that you shake off your responsibility, but like, you can bear them this time around. Hee~ Faham tak? Ahahaha.. Tak perlu faham pun, asalkan aku faham, supaya senang nak cari balik benda ni bila kegersangan melanda diri ini lagi.

Maybe it's because I'm choleric, that messages such as toning down gets to me. Haha.
What about you? If there was one reminder from God that touches you most, what will it be?

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Speaking of good supply, my Speculoos is running out. Again! Haha! Siapa nak pergi France? Put your hands upppp~ *sebab good things, you just have to hunt for them again and again* And shipping sepuluh kali ganda harga Speculoos. What???

Thanksies goes to Eza and Samantha, whom I spent a great time with during the last summer break :) We got introduced to Speculoos and had the spread with French bread, bread bread, and hard boiled eggs. Seriously, if you don't have Speculoos, you should try peanut butter and hard boiled eggs. Sedap~ ^^ Sam found 3 suppliers in OZ. Congratulations!!! I have yet to find one here. *padahal Czech and France jauh lebih dekat* Thanks for turning me into a convert. Ha! Speculoos FTW!!!

Thanks also to a junior who had helped me get Speculoos once. Thanks for bearing the berat of the glass jar. It has served as good breakfast supply for a few days really! :D Failed to turned you into a Speculoos convert though, then maybe I could order in bulk by mail. Haha.

Ze Speculoos converts

Nora, Eza, Sam :)

hampir-hampir

Usually, if I'm grumpy, it's most likely because I'm hungry.
So kalau I appear grumpy, sudilah kiranya memberi makanan.
Hee~

A post selepas accidental post. Kyaaa~

Buat Ejai dan Syamira, you guys owe me ice cream! :D
Jom jalan-jalan lepas exam! ^^

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Terima kasih Tuhan sebab perkenalkan hambaMu ini dengan dua gadis istimewa, Izati dan Syamira. Tak boleh puji lebih-lebih, so post terima kasih jadi pendek. Kekeke.
Malam ini, mereka peneman membuat keputusan.
Dan keputusannya adalah, marilah tumpukan perhatian kepada yang baik-baik aja. ;)

Less than 3
<3 p="p">Zizi

:')

This week has been tiring.
It would have been more tiring if unexpected help wouldn't come.
Thank you Allah.
Please don't stop guiding me cause depending on You gives so much comfort. :')

Immediate reminders binds our heart from wandering too far.

-----

Like a feather blown by the wind, iman fluctuates.
And because it's in its nature, we needn't be sad about it.
:)

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And here's the space for things I wanna talk about but haven't the heart to yet.

Until then,
Good noc!

izinkan saya

Atas sebab-sebab merasakan what I wrote was inappropriate, makanya parts of this post has been rewritten. Haha!

Ok, agak melucukan untuk ambil gambar jari berdarah. Patut cari something to compress then plasterkan aje. Tapi tapi.. I got so excited (what???) sebab darah tu cam tak henti-henti mengalir. Hahaha. Must have been an artery. Boleh tahan sakit. Hahaha.
And somehow, this reminded me of a statement Syamira made about me. Regarding semangat-cheer-dan-vocal-cord-accidents. Yang agak tak boleh bla, but I have to admit anyway. :P

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Karipap terima kasih.

Kerana anda semua telah banyak membantu membentuk hamba Allah ini.

Alhamdulillah for the experience.
May Allah bless you people, and may He grant us all Paradise.

-----

UK
And this project I've suggested, if in Your Knowledge, is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. Amin.

Bismillah.

hanziko

Is the name of the little boy I got attached to when we were at the Detske Centrum (read: orphanage). I don't remember the reason he was abandoned, but in a few months time he may have to be a permanent resident there. Walaupun tak sampai half an hour, I hope I did some part untuk Hanziko. He is a happy child though, may Allah bless those children. Learning their family history, the orphanage is perhaps a better place for them to grow.

*POZOR this is a long post, with long sentences, that requires a lil' more concentration*

Geng Detske Centrum. No photos of children sebab cannot take photos there. 

Owh, and the funny thing about visiting children is that, regardless of nationality, gender (kecuali Encik R, yang awkward habis, tengok baby macam tengok alien. haha, hilang macho!), age, EVERYONE baby talks. HAHAHA. Baby talk yang kalau takde baby kat kawasan tu memang nak kena makan penampar lah. And the children were so happy greeting and playing around :) Yang menangis pun prolly sebab lapar/sakit, so memang boleh maafkanlah.

Anyway, it's on this field trip that I thought a lot about the truth behind JKR's newest book. Because this Detske Centrum, apart from taking care of unwanted children, also plays a part in helping recovering mothers. i.e. Those who WANT to care for their child but CANNOT. e.g. mothers who are attending Meth clinics (or other detox program), mothers who need help caring for a child be it because they are sick or because they don't know how to.

And the sad thing we learnt about the place is that, it will be gone in 2 years time. Sebab ada perintah to do so. Honestly aku rasa orang Czech ni hebat-hebat belaka, but money blinds those in power. (Dah ada power, nak pau duit lagi. Kejam siot.) Tuhan, jauhkanlah diri ini daripada menjadi hamba dunia. Erti hidup pada memberi. Hope the money and power we get will go there, towards a life driven to help those in need.
(Lately, whatever I write or say will be tested against me immediately, and yes, this blog is first and foremost a reminder to my own self, yang memanglah banyak flaws that needs to be replaced with good things, before I die).

Closure of institutions such as this will cause more devastating and depressing repetition of history of Krystal's family, eyh? (SPOILER ALERT!!! For those who didn't read The Casual Vacancy: It's about the lives of people in a small town, whom were facing the death of a member of the town representatives, who cared a lot about the underprivileged. In his absence, the fight between two parties (those who preferred their life "untainted" by the problems of the lower socioeconomic class, and those who were for inclusion of the underprivileged in their care) happened. And since everybody was busy fighting, there was no one to actually tackle the problem at hand, which results in the death of Krystal and her brother, whose mother is a drug addict.)

Somehow you need to truly care so that when you're in power, you do not leave what you fight for behind. People who were fighting for the seat didn't even care for their own family and in the end, their own children brought them down. Nauzubillah.

Honestly, I thank God for letting me see things more clearly, in a new light. Thanks for guiding me into making the decisions I made and then to not make those decisions go to waste.

I don't recommend reading the book cause it might ruin your day, mind and heart if you don't go beyond first thoughts, but if you are the kind of reader who can read with second and third thoughts* (explanation below), maybe you should. It's a harsh reality we live in. Our generation may treat what's happening as taboo, which shouldn't be the case because seeing as how it's happening in this moment we're living in, we need to somehow address these matters. Huhu~ berat tu~

I may end up having more storybooks than medical books. Fair enough, they're way thinner. 

*Terry Pratchett, from A Hat Full of Sky:
First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. 
Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. 
Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome.

Ok, what next Nora?

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Oh ho, almost forgot, thanksies today goes out to CzeMSA Praha :D Woot2~
We had IGames last weekend, and Futsal team got Gold and Bronze! Hee~ Alhamdulillah ^^. Thanks to the team: Syifa, Qilah, Syamira, Anis, Dania, Ummu, Pia, Fasya, Dayah, Nina, Asiah, Mia, Michelle, Alin, Aiza *hope I didn't miss out on anyone* For the participation, the hours of practise in the cold, air, makanan, menenangkan hati, bagi pointers etc. Thanks Kak Syifa, for the tendangan emas yang membawa kitorang ke finals. Our coach, Pek "skill yang korang belajar ni, bukan untuk games aje, boleh guna lagi next time nak main futsal". Joshua "2 things you need to know to have a  good game. Firstly, menang kalah tu biasa. Secondly, pass the ball." Tau tak, it's so nice to play a game with korang semua!!! Cause we all pass the ball. And we didn't have to think about the result, yang penting main sungguh-sungguh macam dalam practice. Hehe. Dulu beriya-iya complain sebab kena tengok orang time main, tak boleh tendang aje. Rupanya ada sebab tertentu. Kekeke. And terima kasih sebab tak buat lagak ngeri sampai cedera etc. Terima kasih elak bola yang boleh membawa maut kalau kena kepala.Terima kasih sebab cakap "good game, lets try better in the next half". :) It was a meaningful final IGames for me.

To our supporters! :D Korang dae bak!!! Mengkobarkan semangat kitorang untuk pecut kejar bola di saat-saat kitorang dah mengah dekat court yang gedabak tu. Terima kasih sebab memahami yang kitorang tak boleh nak score time game. Kyaa~ Banyak sangat moments sikit-lagi-je-nak-masuk-goal. Kekeke.
Owh, special shoutout dekat adik-adik KTT Olomouc kot, made me smile during the game "Hey, itu akak KTT kan? Akak KTT! Akak KTT!" Cancel I nak control macho time main. HAHAHA.

To all the participants! Korang, tacing habis I sebab ramai betul participate and support this year! :D Walaupun kita dapat second, tapi teamwork tu terasa kembali~ Hee~ Hope the semangat lives on in the coming years! CzeMSA Praha memang terbaiklah, no doubt ;)

Love,
Zizi :D

handy girl

Ever heard of the song, Frank D Fixer?
If not, here you go.


This particular song serves a valuable reminder for me to not give up.
It goes something like "chill lah, we make mistakes, tapi it's not the end of the world, there's a way to make things better"

Nak cakap pasal my failed attempt actually.
Of fixing my shoes. Cobbler semua reject, they said "neudelam". (ie. "Aku tak baiki yang camni" -hebat kan vocab Czech, satu perkataan dah memadai)
So I bought a black thread and tried to sew my shoes.
Berjayalah tutup, tapi, sah boleh mengakibatkan herniation kalau jahit macam tu dekat pesakit.
What can I do, I've never sew canvas/plastic before T_T
I had a trial of the suture today with futsal practice. And it didn't work out that well. No herniation, but the sewing came undone. Sedih dan frust, cause it's so comfy to play with those shoes.

 Tsk tsk. Man, tak pernah rosakkan kasut camni. Tulah, budak, bila dah high main, bajet Shaolin Soccer habis. 

So just recently, I sew back the tear and made reinforcement. Woo hoo~ Harapnya it'll turn out well. Haven't tested it yet. Doakan it'll serve me good at the court Saturday and Sunday iA.

I'm not sure of the practicality of this attempt. Eep~ So, whose shoes need fixing?
-----

And my thanksies shout out today goes to Mama and Mak. :)
Finally, I made sambal ikan bilis kering yang dae bak!
Got ikan bilis, tempe, potato, peanut. Hee~

Enough food for a week~ :D (tapi dah habis)

When I made it, I really thought of giving up "menyambal" because of the hard work untuk potong nipis-nipis, goreng satu-satu, tunggu kering etc. Dah lah asyik rasa potato tu tak cukup je setiap kali dah goreng satu round. Aigoo~ Simple sebenarnya, tapi tak reti-reti nak bersabar dan buat dengan penuh kasih sayang.

And those hard work, korang tak pernah complain pun when I request them every week when I was at KTT. Semoga Allah berkati jasa para ibu yang melayan kerenah (perut especially) ananda-ananda, tanpa jemu.

Should have brought more ikan bilis back.

Handy girl today,
Nora

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Y U NO talk bout the war?
All I can say is that, wars should be criminalised.

And seeing those deaths, I often wonder, if I were in the war zone, and I died, would I die for Allah, or would I die for other things?
I need to sort out my priorities.

Honestly, aku tatau doa apa paling sesuai time-time camni. Sebab Tuhan planner teragung.
Istikhara. Okay? *rhetoric*

rash

Coming to decisions and conclusions too fast.
If God had not intervene, I may have done more harm than good tonight.
Thank you Allah.

Please lead me in the right path, please ordain what is good for me.
I seek guidance in virtue of Your Knowledge.
I seek ability in virtue of Your Power.
You have power, I have none, and You Know, I know not.

-----

Some revelations actually threw me into a state of tremor today. Scary weyh. I shall skip the details and write down what I got, a headache and minimal crying later.

Among the lessons learnt today, knowledge should be free. Don't burden someone who sincerely wants to learn. (sekarang baru faham why Abah wanted to put up his projects for free)

And another thing, if a door closes, it's prolly cause what's in store behind that door will cause you more regrets.

God is good. Don't ever think He's making it hard on you. Think of the things you could do, now that it has been removed from your mission statement.

Ironically, it was a good mistake.

and, and, and

Salam. Pelikkan tajuk. *tak pelik, cause it's my blog* haha!

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In The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time, Christopher used lotsa "and".

And I think I got infected by this repeated usage.
And it's not a bad thing either.

-----

We're having Public Health round right now. :)
And I enjoyed today's lecture. About the healthcare system.
Primary care seems interesting.
Cause the setting is where you learn about people, and their lifestyles.
And the importance of investing in emotional accounts. How love and care goes a long way.

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And for some reasons, I would like to thank a few people.
Dear parents, thank you for everything. And I'm sorry to have overlooked the many beautiful things you taught us children in this life.
Dearest Hana, thanks for always calming me. I hope to be there for you as how you've never failed to be there for me. We became adults a lil' too soon, kan? *cries* I honestly miss you sis.

Yang lain-lain will have to wait. Emotions have decided to well up.

Nora

ambiguous

So, when I said vulnerable, I didn't mean it in a physical sense. 

Almost became a pirate yesterday.

Sebab kena smash with shuttlecock straight on my eyes. 

The lid of one eye got retracted and gives this bulu-mata-lebih-lentik-daripada-biasa effect. 

The pressure pain was bearable tapi the funny part was when everyone went like "okay ke? okay or not? you need me to get cold water?" and I went, "I'm okay" sambil air mata bercucuran. Reason enough, it hit my eye, memanglah my eyes became watery. Ahahaha. Serious bukan sebab sakit. :P Kesian kat korang kan, risau tak menentu. 

Then the real pain, bila I got smashed by a racquet on the forehead. GILE KENTANG. 

Tau tak, kalau something retak, then you can see the cracks, time tu, at the back of my mind, that was what I visualised. HAHAHA.

I ended up with a bump on my forehead. It's childhood memories all over again. *cue visions of monkey bars and what nots*

Well, that didn't hurt afterwards. Hee~ 

^^ tapi benjol dah surut sekarang~ thank God~ and the eyelid has gone back to it's original anatomical position. 

Ok, next time, marilah lebih berhati-hati. Yosh~ 

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There're things you feel that you can't stop but you can control it. 

Don't worry. It won't hurt. 

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Err, random fact: orang Czech are good at winking. >.^ 

until then

You can't love anything.
Till you can love yourself.
Well, hope I'm doing it right.

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not so random

Simple moments.

What draws a smile on your face today?
For me, it was some Czech boys.
Little ones, 5-8 years old.

They were playing soccer and wanted to ask me to join them.
I said no, go on and play. I'm waiting for my friends.
And one of them said something which I don't quite get.
So I told them, I don't speak fluent Czech, and I don't understand Czech well.

And the 8 year old who dribbled-paling-bergaya-sekali raised his hand and said, with really bright expression, 'Well, I can speak Ukranian'.

I could only smile at his attempt. :)
Nemluvi Anglicky.

I've always loved being around children.
They're carefree, innocent and big hearted.
They don't judge.

Somehow, it makes you carefree, innocent, big hearted, non judgemental as well.
(Err... this leads to some parents and relatives going "yang kau main dengan budak-budak tu apesal" or "main mengalahkan budak-budak" when I decided to spend my time running around)

Hope to go to the children centre for our class trip next week.
It's a foster home, if I remember correctly.

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Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me.
Then I think if I'm wasting my time thinking of you.
But then again.
You are not a waste of time.

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Attempting being vulnerable.

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Thank you Allah

rebel

Niat menulis pagi ni sebab teringat pesanan Abah.
It was after a day of cycling.
I almost passed out bila naik bukit yang mana entah. Usually Yasmin is the one to make all the dramas (throwing up etc) tapi memandangkan semua orang in the family is dramatic, that one day happened to be mine.

I woke up late that day, minum separuh cawan milo (too hot to finish it) then head out cycling with the rest.
Baru masuk hutan tu, but I felt weak already. My legs doesn't seem to want to cycle as usual. Muscular fatigue kot.

And after beberapa bukit kecil, we made it to the big one, which I had no problem with before, but that day, balancing on the bike didn't work so well so I had to stop halfway and push the bike to the peak. (And tell you what, pushing your bike uphill is waaaaaaaaaaay more tiring than riding it!)

Gasping, Abah asked why, and gave a lecture which I couldn't quite remember because I was quite pre-syncopal that time. And in the midst of his talk, I just lied down and use the bike as leg rest.
And there was a photo of that.
Abah sent it to Yasmin cause she wasn't around, and that would make a good joke of the day for her. Haha. Serves me right for always belittling her throwing up ages ago. (You can't help but do that with siblings. It's only natural!)

Anyway, the rebellion part came because Abah told me to eat telur separuh masak before I go cycling, so my legs won't feel tired. And to drink enough, so I won't be dehydrated too fast.
I don't like soft boiled eggs :'( For reasons I couldn't quite remember. Must be the texture. So rebel part one came because I ate hard boiled egg instead. Haha. Abah went "pfft!" tapi menerima aje. And I didn't drink as much as instructed. (I slept early, so memang tak teringat, and to drink so much in the morning would result in uncomfortable ride). I grabbed Livita though. Saje je.
And the best thing the next day was, I got to ride Mama's bike. Muahahaha. Ringan, laju, sedap je nak drift-drift, plus mineral oil. In fact Abah offered his bike (quote Mama "huish, ambillah peluang ni, Mama pun tak pernah dapat offer macam tu") but knowing my cemerkap self, I'd rather not face the lecture that may come with damaging any parts of his bike.
(The trick is, if you admit before your parents come to know of it, usually they would be more accommodating  Trust me. I was once a professional in property damage.)

And the reason I'm writing this is because, today I have futsal practice. And I just ate telur separuh masak. Whylah we all nak jadi anak baik bila berjauhan daripada keluarga. And not when they want us to?
Haha. Jawapannya, saje, sebab duduk dekat rumah, boleh bermanja dan hidup kurang berdikari. HAHA. Jawapan ni selalu lepas piawaian dekat rumah. Sebab penuh kebenaran dan kejujuran. Terima kasih ibubapa~

Ok, rindu sebenarnya.

Anak solehah di perantauan,
Nora

Nak upload gambar, tapi apesal muka aku semuanya epic. Nah, amek gambar telur separuh masak ni. Ada terliur? Ada geli?

So many grammatical error. Gah. -.-;;;

noooooob

Did you know about OneNote?
Rupa-rupanya it's a very awesome Office application.
And I've never explored it before yesterday. :O
Tetapi semalam adalah hari yang busy.
So, lets get adjusted to OneNote today and cut down the amount of journals I would have to incinerate.

Windows Office FTW!!!
*marilah kita berusaha menggunakan whatever resources we have. or else.*

boo hoo

Literature of thoughts.

If doubt comes
Write
It's too messy up there
To reason

If emotions overwhelm
Write
It's too dark here
To decipher

If thoughts run wild
Fit them in a page
Now your literature of thoughts
Won't be to waste

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I act on impulse, so there're many circumstances by which I wish I could reverse. Life doesn't work that way though.

Experimenting with oneself, I find writing a wonderful tool to curb my impulse a level or two. 5 minutes of writing could do wonders in justifying a decision made or revoked.

I used to do the thinking in my head but my short attention span would lead to abandonment of whatever I was attending to in my encephalon. A pity cause it disallows idea to evolve :(

I'm still adjusting to the whole think-write thing. I hope it turns me into a better person. A more faithful slave of God, less confused, much calmer.

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Then, there's a question of what will become of those journals when I die.
(self destruct?)
Well, lets try to redevelop and restructure the whole thinking with focus in my brain first.

Still addled,
The Brain