sadness

Bismillah.

To think

You may not

Love me

After all 

Is 

Heart-wrenching

A pain

Akin to

An angina

Allow me

To unthink

Such possibility

Even if

It is probable

I would still

Pray for you

-----

I am in love with a person so wonderfully kind. At times I wished I was noticed but most of all, I wish you peace and happiness and that you be closer to God. I wish for you, a place in His Heavens. Besides prayers, I am just too scared to go to you. 

In love all the same, 

Nora

complaining

Bismillah

Every time I try,
They get held back
My words.

They got stuck,
Somewhere between
My heart and my lips.

Or sometimes,
Tears welled
Then endlessly fell.

-----

I met a cat today, it looked so much in pain.
I can see that it was weak.
And it is trying hard to keep up.
With whatever struggle it was in.
The cat treats did not seem to work.
Even as I offer them out of my hands.
I noticed then, it was ?crying.
And stroked the cat, hoping somehow, there was comfort in that.
I turned away to wash my hands.
And when I looked back, you were not there anymore.

We had a cat once, and the only time it disappeared, it left us forever.

------

I was brought to reminisce a mission I held dear, that is, to make a little good in the lives that I have met. I hope when I die, there are no bad thoughts of me. I hope when I die, people would pray for my well being in the Hereafter, when they think of me. I dare not ask for more, even if my heart longs for it.

I wished, I was loved in return

But that is too much,
Nora

and if you love me

Bismillah

Hey you, thanks, 

For the thoughts

And the small gifts

Oh, you helped me out there

And I see that

You want to spend

More time with me?

If you love me

For goodnes sake

Love,

Then say the words

-----

Sometimes, there is a thin line between hugging someone out of gratitude and punching them in the face for inflicting confusion. 

I wish I had the guts to ask, exactly where do we stand.

Cause you know, the punching in the face is something I'd consider trading a heartbreak with.

Not a gentlelady,

Nora

i could do with a shoulder

Bismillah

A shoulder to cry on?

It is tiring, to comfort everyone. It is tiring to tell every single person that there is nothing left to be done, and how like you are deeply rooted in your persona, my dear, so is everybody else, so stop telling me about others being themselves.

Do yourself a favour, and start changing your delusional thoughts of people trying to get at you. Arghhh.

And I cannot say all this out loud cause I know it will hurt your pride so much and bridges will burn.

-----

I sometimes wish I could break much easily, then maybe I can shut off all these noises.

Too strong? Or simply too numbed to feel.

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

-----

Thanks for trusting me so much to have told me things though.
I wish I could trust someone enough.
But of course, that is too much to ask.

*finds a mirror

I cannot even trust myself.

not mine

Bismillah

What I have
Was never mine to begin with
If I were borrowed
I would want me back
In a state
Where I know
I have been used well
That I have served my purpose
And I have done so
Righteously

-----

Today is a day, to be grateful for my brain, to be grateful for my ATPs, to be grateful for my heart, to be grateful that I have lived again.

One day at a time,
Nora

Imprisoned

Bismillah

Living tortures me
Yet I fear Death
I have very little
For an Afterlife

-----

Do not argue
Do not lie
Have good manners

It is not hard, to build a house in Jannah

-----

I hope my sins will be forgiven.

:'(

deja vu

Bismillah

Feelings

I cannot afford to love you, so I am keeping a distance. Whilst hoping the broad difference in latitude between us, may wean me off catching glimpses of you. It was not short, the meeting we had, I am afraid we have gotten use to having each other around. However, as much as I think, I have shamelessly walked closer, it felt like I am in fact, only running further.

I am afraid. Cause feelings such as this, has made me forget who I am before, suppose that happens again? Though in that small little chamber in my heart I hope, this time it would be different.

On the other hand, I am glad I admire kindness, discipline and responsibility this time around.

-----

Long weekend

Time to digest the protocol. Hope to be done by next Thursday. Here we go!

Love,
Nora