rebel

Niat menulis pagi ni sebab teringat pesanan Abah.
It was after a day of cycling.
I almost passed out bila naik bukit yang mana entah. Usually Yasmin is the one to make all the dramas (throwing up etc) tapi memandangkan semua orang in the family is dramatic, that one day happened to be mine.

I woke up late that day, minum separuh cawan milo (too hot to finish it) then head out cycling with the rest.
Baru masuk hutan tu, but I felt weak already. My legs doesn't seem to want to cycle as usual. Muscular fatigue kot.

And after beberapa bukit kecil, we made it to the big one, which I had no problem with before, but that day, balancing on the bike didn't work so well so I had to stop halfway and push the bike to the peak. (And tell you what, pushing your bike uphill is waaaaaaaaaaay more tiring than riding it!)

Gasping, Abah asked why, and gave a lecture which I couldn't quite remember because I was quite pre-syncopal that time. And in the midst of his talk, I just lied down and use the bike as leg rest.
And there was a photo of that.
Abah sent it to Yasmin cause she wasn't around, and that would make a good joke of the day for her. Haha. Serves me right for always belittling her throwing up ages ago. (You can't help but do that with siblings. It's only natural!)

Anyway, the rebellion part came because Abah told me to eat telur separuh masak before I go cycling, so my legs won't feel tired. And to drink enough, so I won't be dehydrated too fast.
I don't like soft boiled eggs :'( For reasons I couldn't quite remember. Must be the texture. So rebel part one came because I ate hard boiled egg instead. Haha. Abah went "pfft!" tapi menerima aje. And I didn't drink as much as instructed. (I slept early, so memang tak teringat, and to drink so much in the morning would result in uncomfortable ride). I grabbed Livita though. Saje je.
And the best thing the next day was, I got to ride Mama's bike. Muahahaha. Ringan, laju, sedap je nak drift-drift, plus mineral oil. In fact Abah offered his bike (quote Mama "huish, ambillah peluang ni, Mama pun tak pernah dapat offer macam tu") but knowing my cemerkap self, I'd rather not face the lecture that may come with damaging any parts of his bike.
(The trick is, if you admit before your parents come to know of it, usually they would be more accommodating  Trust me. I was once a professional in property damage.)

And the reason I'm writing this is because, today I have futsal practice. And I just ate telur separuh masak. Whylah we all nak jadi anak baik bila berjauhan daripada keluarga. And not when they want us to?
Haha. Jawapannya, saje, sebab duduk dekat rumah, boleh bermanja dan hidup kurang berdikari. HAHA. Jawapan ni selalu lepas piawaian dekat rumah. Sebab penuh kebenaran dan kejujuran. Terima kasih ibubapa~

Ok, rindu sebenarnya.

Anak solehah di perantauan,
Nora

Nak upload gambar, tapi apesal muka aku semuanya epic. Nah, amek gambar telur separuh masak ni. Ada terliur? Ada geli?

So many grammatical error. Gah. -.-;;;

noooooob

Did you know about OneNote?
Rupa-rupanya it's a very awesome Office application.
And I've never explored it before yesterday. :O
Tetapi semalam adalah hari yang busy.
So, lets get adjusted to OneNote today and cut down the amount of journals I would have to incinerate.

Windows Office FTW!!!
*marilah kita berusaha menggunakan whatever resources we have. or else.*

boo hoo

Literature of thoughts.

If doubt comes
Write
It's too messy up there
To reason

If emotions overwhelm
Write
It's too dark here
To decipher

If thoughts run wild
Fit them in a page
Now your literature of thoughts
Won't be to waste

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I act on impulse, so there're many circumstances by which I wish I could reverse. Life doesn't work that way though.

Experimenting with oneself, I find writing a wonderful tool to curb my impulse a level or two. 5 minutes of writing could do wonders in justifying a decision made or revoked.

I used to do the thinking in my head but my short attention span would lead to abandonment of whatever I was attending to in my encephalon. A pity cause it disallows idea to evolve :(

I'm still adjusting to the whole think-write thing. I hope it turns me into a better person. A more faithful slave of God, less confused, much calmer.

-----

Then, there's a question of what will become of those journals when I die.
(self destruct?)
Well, lets try to redevelop and restructure the whole thinking with focus in my brain first.

Still addled,
The Brain

neon jeongmal ukkyo

Too straight, too high.
Sanggwaneobso.
Nan naega joha.

:)

-----

Dallado dwae.
Michyeodo dwae.
Nan naega joha.

:)

-----

Naega wonhaneun nawa.
Nan neomu dalla.

Mwol bwa? 

Never stop from being who you are. 

The world's standard is too high/too straight. 

You're fine, really. 

-----

On a different note,
Can't wait for a new album to arrive. ^^,
It's by one of the three musicians whom I adore: my bestie, Jason Mraz, Epik High. 

pathological

In an attempt to escape a life I've lived, I grew more confused.

The most precious advise from a friend by far was, to return to Allah.

So it's good to know that really, eventually, if you do things with the right intention, then good things will come out of it. Be it in a week, a month, a year, longer.
Worrying halts. Blaming halts.

The pathological reaction isn't so malignant right now anyway, so lets hope for the best :)
And even if you can't break through, it's not a problem, it's just the way you are.

Besides, God gave you friends and family who knew and did not judge nor leave you behind. It's not a lonesome journey after all.

Baiklah.
To yet another start, Bismillah.

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Yesterday I felt like the whole world was against me. When in fact, it was only 4 out of the world population. Bergurau ada tahapnya. You needn't be so harsh. Try walking in my shoes, and try to laugh it off. It's doable, but never easy. Especially when I'm freaking tired like yesterday. :'( Meanie.

fwp

Is mainly ego.
The sense that you can't be hurt, can't be bothered.
Ignorance. Apathy.
:(

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TCV, and I'm not recommending the book. It's filled with ugly truths. You may end up nauseated reading it. In fact, I think everyone is just so messed up there. Everyone is inflicting harm on just about anyone. It's bound to happen, when all you care about is yourself (perhaps?)
A disrupted way of life but reality none the less.

It was very depressing reading the book (remind me not to do something so dangerous again) and I was feeling uncomfortable so I decided to calm myself with NAK's talk. *Alhamdulillah for the existence of this man. I think he helped a lot with my trying to be more acquainted with the Quran. May Allah's blessings be always upon you, brother!*

The title of the talk was: Returning To Allah. (downloadable here!)
This, I recommend listening to. :) I think it touched a lot on the problems we face nowadays. And truth be told, I think it cleared pretty much all the conflict in TCV.

A gist of what I got:
No matter how messed up we think we are, don't EVER lose hope in Allah's Forgiveness (Allah is Extremely Forgiving) and His Mercy (Allah is Always Merciful).

39;53-54
It is very common for us to shun away from people we have disappointed. How we can barely look in the eye of our friends when we know we made a mistake etc. but just what are our bad deeds to be compared to His Mercy. To sin is only to harm ourselves, and here Allah tells us to return to Him, regardless, before it's too late.

The talk also touches on us, youth's biggest problems: having little respect of our parents, and over exposure to shamelessness. And how to at least spend your time not doing harm.

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Oh, I have yet again decided to not take my exam but insyaAllah, will take it in a month's time. By the time which, I'll have another, smaller exam. :)

I know people are praying for me and I thank you very much for that, and please keep me in your prayers always! ;)

Have a nice Zulhijjah everyone!

untitled

:D So this post came on FB today.
On ladies going to the mosque (click to watch)

Hee~ Seriously, my summer trips to Surau KK was awesome actually.
Thank God Abah is okay with us pergi surau. Hehe. (And pergi shopping *quote Abah when Mama said we all asyik beli tudung/baju "takpelah, benda baik"* or makan-makan)

Faith in humanity, restored! :)
Hee~

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By the way, today I felt the awfulness of having to go out of your comfort zone.
Nauseating.
One has to do it however, the whole being uncomfort thing.
Change or die.

Oooh that was harsh.

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Haha.

Lets not get too overwhelmed! Work through this challenge with sabr Nora! ;) We'll get there. Slowly but surely. iA.