tiga

Bismillah

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Tiga

"Saya nak terus bebas berlari. Tak perlu ambil peduli. Bahagia dalam dunia sendiri"

"Tapi nak tak nak, tanggungjawab tu sedia menanti. Kalau awak tak ambil langkah tu sekarang, nanti awak jugak yang rugi".

"Untuk jadi dewasa? Heh. Macam mana kalau pilihan untuk jadi dewasa itu dikaitkan dengan kesengsaraan?"

"Tak faham"

"Dia kata, dia tunggu kami semua cukup dewasa. Bila dah cukup dewasa, then, dia akan let go of Mama"

"Owh, maksud awak, talak?"

"Letting go. Ada maksud lain lagi ke? Entahlah. Kadang-kadang saya rasa keadaan dah semakin pulih. Tapi, letting go...hmmm, itu dah termasuk ungkapan serius, you know, macam kematian ke? Benda yang tak patut dibawa main. Jadi, takut tu tetap ada. Takut sebab saya rasa, dia takkan sebut sesuatu yang dia tak maksudkan. Takut sebab kalau betullah saya dewasa, saya perlu saksikan kejatuhan sebuah rumah tangga"

"Awak tahu, sebenarnya, tak ada keluarga yang normal dalam dunia ni"

"Well, that's a first"

"And, awak tak perlu berselindung di sebalik kegagalan orang lain sebenarnya"

"Maksudnya?"

"Awak ada kehidupan sendiri. Awak corak perjalanan awak. Jadi dewasa, bukan sebab sesiapa, jadi dewasa, sebab itu prasyarat untuk jadi manusia yang lebih berjaya"

"Oh, eh?"

"Terlalu banyak potensi terbuang, kalau awak biarkan jiwa dan minda awak terus terperangkap dalam masalah orang lain. Being stationary, doesn't change anything budak!"

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Hug Squad

There are things we wish to un-hear, because the words haunts and scares the living out of us, but life, doesn't exactly work that way. In an attempt to satisfy what we feel is our need, we hurt others along the way. It seems logical to us, to say those things, without even thinking, what it would result in others. For what matters is only our opinion, our rights, our entitlement to be respected. Adoi. Aku pun tak terlepas daripada menjadi si penjual ikan.

Satu meeting CzeMSA dahulu, regarding the iGames in Prague. Ibnu came out with this idea that, if anyone make any mistake, then, they should make a heart with their hands and say, "with love". :) I thought that it was a lovely thing to do, even if it may sound childish. Well, maybe we all should learn from children and be a lil' more forgiving of others. Forgive and apologise before the hurt has room to develop. Apologise cause everyone has their say, which may or may not hurt somebody else.

Owh and hugs work fine as well. There's this assurance that comes from someone firmly gripping you back to your senses. Or in cases where you can't speak of the matter that bugs you to anyone, I find that wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing your biceps helps. Almost collapse the day this happened. Was so shocked by what I heard, that I can't actually feel my legs, and  Then, I met Syamee later in the night, and it was okay again.

Honestly, I feel like the paragraphs above is very ambiguous. I meant to say two things:
1. The hurt brought upon hearing things from others that we did not expect to hear.
2. The hurt we cause others by saying things that we feel is alright. At least by our standard.
So technically, whether we like it or not, because of the complex build of the human mind and soul, we will, one day, end up hurting someone. Thus, like how we are in a sin-then-ask-for-forgiveness-relationship with God, we should be in a ask-for-forgiveness-and-forgive-people relationship with people.

I hope I can find friends for the hug squad later  in life. I think HO life will be a bit demanding. Hope my supply of awesome and optimism won't run out too fast. Two years, kan? We can do this inshaAllah!

They say when you've spent enough time with someone, you begin to look like them, you begin to resemble them. And there was a moment in time when, we realised, we look a lot like each other in some ways. I thank Allah to have met me with this wonderful friend, Florence, for she has, brought out the best in me, by being the best of herself. :) It amazes me how we can be calm and crazy in the same moment. To be laidback but to not leave the important things at the same time. Great friends are rare and precious. And like she said, I hope one day, our children and grandchildren could be as close as we are right now. :)

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She wanted to run away so bad, but, truly, there's nothing to escape from. :)

With that tranquility, live life, live it for Him. 

Love always,

Nora