pantai timur

 Bismillah

One part down, Alhamdulillah. It has been a humbling ride, and I was surprised, when H said, she would do it all again. At that point, I felt like it was the embodiment of the word husnudzhon. Cause the biggest part of the journey, is learning to embrace oneself, the good, the bad, the ugly, and mostly, the great potential within.

Thank You, for the many opportunities and friends I got to know along the way. And for teaching me to let go of what drained me. What lies at the end of unanswered prayers, were more beautiful thank I could have asked for. Thank You for saving me, time and time again. 

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It is step one again, it will be different though. 

I think I know myself more now. 

:)

start living

 Bismillah 

Juggling work, exam and restructuring the heart and mind seemed to put some things on hold. At least that is what I thought. Sometimes, you have to give yourself credit for doing what you think is the bare minimal, and start thinking of how the things you do are the maximal effort you can exert for now. Pat yourself in the back, take a breather, and carry on in the right direction. 

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Perhaps one of the thought provoking conversations we had in the previous session was, what next? Regardless of what is going to happen, what is next on the to-do-list?

I told you I wanted to start living again. Take a well deserved break. Regardless of the result. 

And so I did. It was a trip of discovering that my physical health has deteriorated (or it might be the altitude and my rush to reach the top). And to find what beauty I thought I missed out on 20 years ago, is just a tiny little piece of land inspired by European architecture. 

i.e. I did not miss much, time and with it, space, has moved on, and so must I. 

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What made a whole lot of difference this time is, the fact that I showed up. A majority of the time. 

And I asked for adjustments in my schedule. 

Admitting to family and friends when I am just so darn exhausted. 

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One last hurdle to overcome before a major adjustment in responsibilities at work.

Alhamdulillah for where I have been and where I am and where I am going. Make ease. Amin

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The next trigger, regardless of the outcome is, how do I plan to start living life again? Outside of the academic rat race? 

*hold hands excitedly like a villain who just got the greatest plans laid out to achieve his far-fetched dreams

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Yuroshiku!