packing

Bismillah.

Dan sesungguhnya, barang yang akan dibawa balik jauh lebih sedikit berbanding apa yang ditinggalkan.

All these packing made me realise that, the utmost importance is the bare necessities in life. For inevitably, the excess baggage must be left behind. Feels a bit like I've too many things. But yeah, seeing as how it's a four season country, that was quite justifiable. And six solid years, I grew in size, and probably, hopefully, in faith, so fair enough, for the additional baju. Lol.

I find that it's hard to part with tokens from friends. Love notes, if I may call them. I know the moment Mama clears the house in future, they will meet their fate in the waste, but, I can't seem to not pack them.

And Once Ler. :'(
I know I started you well, then I let you go for a while cause I hate being told what to do. And then I realise the comfort of tuning, strumming and picking you. You sound wonderful. Definitely not like the rest at home. And I wanted to take you along the ride, to accompany my days at home but, the expenses were too much. I got you a new owner though, and she seems wonderful :) I'll stroke you with care, for what time remains for the both of us. Just know that, you'll always be my number one!
(keluhan orang bujang.lol)

This is not goodbye,
Nora

childish

Bismillah

Blog-hopping.
Terasa hoiiii terasa.
Terasa jauh lagi perjalanan hidup ini.
Kalau aku mati sekarang...

-----

Live, one day at a time.
And make the present, a past you won't regret Nora!

Keep calm and do what you can.
Pray.
And like any other tool, prayer is only as good as its owner.

Nora

fathah, kasrah, dhammah, sukun

Bismillah.

So much Arabic in a title :P Must be the Ramadhan effect ;) lol

Spelling
Che Rus, guess what, someone can spell now ;) Sila cari nama anda. Hihi.

Haih, when else can we get such opportunity. Thank God, Alhamdulillah. O Allah, please, continuously fill our Ramadhan with the acts of serving You.
Actually when she said she is sad that we have to part so soon, I should have told her, it works both way.
Or I am perhaps sadder. :(
Life is like that though, somehow, all the good people we meet, tend to be separated from us sooner.

Oh well, what matters is to keep contact. The basis of LDR. Even if we don't keep in contact as often, inshaAllah, we'd have ample to talk about when we meet again. Lols.

-----

Istikhara

Tarbiyah kenal erti,
Bersabar menanti,
Wujudnya ketetapan hati,
Untuk capai pasti.

Jauhkanlah apa sahaja yang akan menjauhkan aku daripada Engkau, dekatkanlah apa yang akan mendekatkan aku kepada Engkau.

Manusia kerdil. Kadang-kadang rasa macam dah ikut timbangan yang disukaiNya, tapi tetap sukar membuat keputusan. :( Janganlah tergolong dalam orang yang dapat petunjuk tapi tak dapat kebaikan from the guidance sudah. Huaaaaaaaa :'(

Nora

rolling around

Bismillah

So yesterday we tried out iftar at the Kuwait mosque. :) It feels more like a mosque, with kids running around. (Well, mainly Nasir running around :P ) Brings you close to that kampung feel, only, what I like about here is that, the children won't get scolded for being children. Heee... ^_^

Maybe one of the things that shuns me away from marriage is because I'm scared I'll be too strict with my children, cause I was (err or still am) hyperactive and I have spent most of my childhood being told to sit still. I was even tied with my sister once, for inventing the sport of talc-powder-sliding. I mean, how can a growing child with inquisitive instinct stay idle in one place? Ridiculous. Haha. Anyway, I would feel sorry if my child has to suffer endless nags and scoldings.

Today I got to look back and reminisce my interaction with children. And apparently, my fear of being a restrictive parent is obsolete. Of course, there're things we can't compromise with but yeah, play is important for the physical and mental development of a child, so, lets roll around and play with children!

Adults, can be playful. I guess what differs then and now is that, now, we are playful and thoughtful.

I thank God to have the opportunity to study abroad. Best tengok interaction non-Malaysian parents with their children. Gives you faith that families can be functional after all.

10 days old Mansor!!!

Nasir. Budak tebal dan kebal. He was so funny when he was eating and fell backward, and he kept rocking his body cause he was so round in the stomach that he couldn't bring himself to sit back up again. Adorbssss!!!

Owh, and we were running around in the mosque, I was chasing him, and almost caught him, when he stopped, both hands raised, with a determined expression, saying "A TO MUSTAHILLLL!!!!!" (If I may translate, that is impossible!!!! [my catching him]) And he continued running. Lol. I was too busy being stunned and laughing to go after him after that. Haha. Lawak lah budak-budak. 

Apparently, a lot of people telah meng-kantoikan diri sendiri that they were stalking my Facebook, for they were curious to know if my Auntie did, in fact, offer me a marriage proposal. And I told them, if they wanna stalk, then, they should have stalked the comments till the end. They won't find the real matter of proposal, but, they would at least know that, it wasn't a marriage proposal. :P

The matter? I have a babysitting job that awaits me when I get back. Infant-sitting to be exact ;) Ooh la laaaa... Ayra Nisa. She'd be 4 months old when I get back inshaAllah. And I can't wait ^_^

I'm gonna have to be strict this time and not let Mama and Abah interfere like how they did with Artemis (my potted plant which died because of over care). Haha. 

-----

Trip to Zuhra's yesterday. I thought the tram ride there (towards Sidliste Barrandov) was a gift of its own. I long for a walk but I don't think I'd fare well with fasting and the sunny weather. Alhamdulillah, again, for the opportunity. Ketenangan of end stations :) 

Houses on valleys and hills. 

Peneman perjalanan, Che Rus.

My skin is merajuking with me I think. All those urticaria attacks. :( Don't know why I have 'em this year. All I know, what triggers them is being in a stuffy/dusty area.

-----

Kriteria Pertama:

I read somewhere that, if you wanna ask questions pre-marriage, the ones to ask are, those that you think will break a marriage.
I think ineffective communication will definitely read a downfall. Even if not, it would definitely cause unhappy moments.
So the first criterion, SOMEONE I CAN HAVE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH.

I'd like it if he could acknowledge that I should know any decision making, and then, make me understand why a certain measure has to be taken. Allow me to question things, so that I can get a clearer picture. Allow me to have doubts but assure me that it'll be fine. I can be very supportive and forgiving if someone trust me enough to let me take part in things.

In my opinion, even if things go down the drain, at least, we've got each other held accountable for things, and no one is to be blamed for any misfortune. Cause when you've made a mistake, or challenged with failure, I don't think you'd want people to say "I told you so", rather, you need support to come back up again.

I know I'm a bit hard headed so I hope we'll somewhat forgive each other every day, no one has to go to bed angry.

Ohkay. Tu paling penting kot. Lets see what I can come out with next.

Love,
Nora

heartbroken

Bismillah

The thoughts of leaving Prague doesn't actually break one's heart. Cause one day, if it is His will, no matter the deal, then, we'll see each other again. I'm going to miss the lovely atmosphere in Prague.
With all the good people.
And how I live in the centre, and it is SAFE to walk around any time. :)
I'm definitely going to miss the walks.

Vystaviste. I remember crying and reading Anatomy there. I was so scared because there were so much structures to memorise but I couldn't study at home for my heart was too haphazard at the mo. The many memories with Florence. Phorec.

Divoka Sarka. It is a good find, seeing as how, Vystaviste reminds me of Florence, whom I cannot hang out that often with, since we are separated by a year. :( I once saw a girl crying on one of the benches, with a book and a can of Red Bull accompanying her. She really look beaten. And I wonder if that was how I looked like, all those trips to visit nature, armed with a journal, a pen and a camera. As I walked pass her, I hoped in my heart, that the trip will do her good.
A good walk does that to me, makes me feel lighter inside :)

In the circumstance when I miss those places, please remind me that, if I long for beautiful things, I should keep in mind that, what He has in store for us in Paradise, will be many more times lovelier than what we desire here, in this Dunya.

We'll hate what we've lost but we'll love what we'll find :)

-----

What breaks a heart, is losing trust. I've always hoped that people were frank about their feelings. Perhaps then, even if anyone has to go through hurts or heartbreaks, they won't have to wallow in misery for too long. If ties were meant to be severed, then, don't give people false hopes. For heartbreaks aren't exactly pretty feels. Medically, you would be more conscious of your heart, and it aches a little, and it doesn't actually ride to a regular rhythm. And you'd spend a lot of time trying to fight yourself from collapsing.

The best cure for a heartbreak? I think the reason God gave us heartbreaks (not necessarily from a boy-girl-relationship, for trust is a universal matter) is to remind us to have hope in Him, and only Him alone.

The many times I've been having too high an expectation that someone has changed, had, inevitably lead to my being heartbroken. It's not my job to fix things. People are, the way they are, and like how we want others to let us be, it is the same likewise. Haha.

Truth hurts, but being delusional about how things should be is no better :P

-----

I acted human today, I missed someone who went away. Appreciating a presence, when it is no longer present. It's not like I didn't notice we were communicating less. I didn't know it would make me feel empty before. :/

-----

Too much sappy posts. Blame the absence from blogosphere for that XD. Tajuk pun heartbroken kan, maka terpaksalah cuba mendalami dan perbaiki apa yang dirasai. I hope. Huhu.

Anyway, I camwhored today, whilst waiting for iftar. It seemed appropriate. Meet the two ras, Zuhra and Nora. ^_^

Sometimes I wonder if my "crazy" presence is one of the reasons as to why I'm still a single being. A friend told me I need to find a super sabar and super baik person. He made it sound like this apparently sabar and baik person boleh dicari dengan senang di supermarket. Lol.

A spouse eyh. I'll come out with a list soon. I'm done with studies and work is a long way off. Nantikan dengan penuh debaran everybodyyyy.. kekeke

Love always,
Nora

:)

Bismillah

Am I beginning to see some things more clearly now?
Hmm.
Alhamdulillah.

One day, you realise, that there is someone you could trust, to follow his lead.
Because you wanna be awesome like them.

Love,
Nora

cheers kay, jangan tension

Bismillah

Put the glass down. Here, have a read. It is the 7th night of Ramadhan. And out of the many goals set this week, perhaps one I must see through, is to every night, before going to sleep, let go of everything. Forgive everyone.

Life was hard on me, only because I decided to make it sound like it is. And I keep relating the lives of others with mine, when of course, I am, my own self, and I must not drown myself in fear of re-living the lives of others.

Mistakes should only cause us hurt and pain at time of impact, because, it is from mistakes that we learn how to do things a different way. It is with mistakes that we step aside to make way for a better decision.

Thank You God, for letting me know this.
And episode from Dr Who actually concluded with this: "Now you show your son how wrong you were, how there's another way. You make him the best of humanity, in the way you couldn't be". I like how the Dr is always direct about faults in others, and the best part is, he reminds people about hope. On not to fret what was, rather work with what you have. If you made a mistake, then, it is your job to be accountable and make up for it. Guilt and worry won't get you far.

The other day, I almost let go of the wrong thing. :'(
And when someone told me to be strong, I thought it was the craziest statement I could get. And I thought, perhaps, I hadn't been strong enough. So I nodded but my heart was denying whatever my body tried to say.

And then, it hit me that, I wasn't supposed to be strong. I was suppose to be weak, weak enough to pour my heart's content to Him. I am only human after all. I am weak, for there's nothing under my control, and I should seek the Almighty. :'(

All is well now. Letting go is definitely something I should train myself to frequent. The tranquility that comes with it. Kyaaaa >.< Alhamdulillah!

Love always,
Nora

just a lil' bit more

Bismillah

Less than 43 hours.
The final exam.

Takut dan berharap.
Sangat takut dan sangat berharap.

*doakan*

Love always,
Nora

dua

Bismillah

---

Dua

"Menangis lagi?"

"Ha ah. Lagu ni punya pasal."

"Lagu apa?"

"Because of You, Kelly Clarkson."

Beberapa minit kemudian.

"Awak rasa puas hati ke, kalau dapat menangis sebab lagu tu?"

"Menangis tu memuaskan, tapi, lagu tu, haha, lagu tu, bukanlah membantu pun."

"Erm, maksud awak?"

"Saya tak rasa nak mencari sebab untuk marah. Itu tema lagu tu kan. Rage. Nak tenangkan diri sebenarnya, tapi tersilap lagu. Haha."

"Boleh pulak macam tu. Maksud awak, awak ada lagu yang sesuai untuk setiap keadaan?"

"Hmm. Lagu tak pernah ada. Yang ada lirik lagu."

"Tak faham..."

"Saya rasa saya dah dengar cukup banyak lagu. Baru sekarang saya sedar, lagu-lagu tu, semuanya mengajar untuk pentingkan diri, 'akulah yang benar, orang lain semanya salah'. Yang buatkan saya tak pernah rasa puas dengan apa yang saya ada. Yang buat saya rasa satu dunia tak pernah cuba nak memahami. Haha. Delusional."

"Owh, jadi?"

"Jadi, saya tulis lirik sendiri. Untuk tenangkan diri."

"Nak tengok boleh, those lyrics?"

"Tak boleh."

"Apasal?"

"Tu macam security breach. Kalau Freud cakap dream is window to the subconscious, to me lyrics is like a window to my everything. Rasa terancam. If the danger has passed, then, maybe, insyaAllah, satu hari nanti, saya kongsi."

Tiada respon.

"Okaylah, yang ini, boleh kot"

Song of Patience

V1:
She worries about later,
As later becomes,
A little too late.

She worries about the other,
And it all amounts,
To things too great.

Too great,
For her fist-sized heart.

Pre chorus:
But she told me

C:
Good things come, 
To those who wait.

Good things come, 
To those who wait. 

V2:
She dreams about a future,
Bids goodbye,
To all of her fears.

She dreams that one day,
She'll be there for sure,
Where she was meant to be.

Where I can be me.

Pre chorus:
Cause she said

C:
Good things come,
To those who wait.

Good things come,
To those who wait. 

Bridge:
For I was taught to love,
Love, everything given to me :)
That the best thing is in store,
For those who wait.

Pre chorus:
And I know

C:
Good things come,
To those who wait.

Good things come,
To those who wait. 

"So, savvy?"

---

Writing, in the Malay language specifically, reminds me of Diyana. 
It reminds me a whole deal of that wonderful girl. 

Nora

satu

Bismillah

---

Satu

"Awak cakap, semua penderitaan ni akan terhenti satu hari nanti? Haha. Itu benda paling lawak saya pernah dengar."

"Hah? Apasal pulak?"

"Sebab dia cakap, saya tak patut ungkit pasal perubahan. Dia cakap pembinaan insan tu, proses yang lama. Mustahil. Ya, mustahil untuk perubahan itu berlaku."

"Oh, jadi awak cakap apa lepas tu?"

"Tak cakap apa-apa."

"Kenapa?"

"Sebab saya tengah sibuk menangis. Haha. Bodohkan?"

"Entah. Tak berani nak kasi pendapat. Wasn't there, you see. Tapi saya masih merasakan suatu hari nanti, semuanya akan berakhir. Bukannya Tuhan tak tahu apa yang awak lalui ni. Tricknya, untuk kita cari yang tersirat di sebalik tersurat."

"Sebab tak ada yang berlaku sia-sia? Untuk lengkapkan iman? Boleh tahan jugak nak selongkar satu per satu rahsia ni."

"Kadang-kadang, saya rasalah, masalahnya bukanlah untuk mencari sebab. Tapi ujian untuk percaya, yang sebab itu ada. Dan kita tak perlu tahu pun, apa hikmah yang kita bakal dapat. Just, percaya."

"Really?"

"Tak payah risau banyak-banyak. Orang kata, Keep Calm. Keep calm and study okay."

---

Sesetengah manusia diciptakan tak boleh rileks.
Sesetengah manusia diciptakan sungguh rileks.
Dan pertemuan dua manusia ini menghasilkan satu interaksi yang menarik.

Nora

maybe not

Bismillah

I think I'll learn how to swim first, before any bungee attempt.
I looked through the videos of bungee jumping at the proposed bridge, and there wasn't actually a plank to walk on, you just climb onto this miserable railing and once on the other side, you lean back on it till the jump.

Doesn't look that promising. Haha.

Anyway, I doubt the parents would let me do it. Unless I do it before I tell them that I did. Hmm.

And Abah will go "Itu bukan minta kebenaran, itu mem-beritahu".

---

I told him it's okay to be scared, as long as you're doing something.
He doesn't know, that of course, all those things I said, I meant them for myself more than I meant them for him.

Just how do we expect others to understand when we fail to share our secrets?
Haha.
Well, this world is a whole less complicated when we have faith that others, like us, keep things for themselves too.
That's why, regardless of how much it'll hurt, not knowing things, and not being able to project your pain, try to continue being kind others. Being kind is never out of style :)

Nora

47m

Bismillah

I'm gonna take that jump.
To mark a new beginning.

1, 2 BUNGEE!!!

Baik, after exam, marilah dapatkan restu ibubapa.

Nora

we keep more than we let on

Bismillah

Can I take it to a morning?
Where the field is painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?

---

The brain is crowded. No time for decompression. Not yet.
Come on you, focus!

Nora

a mystery

Bismillah

You know the thing about being sure of things?
Like when you've decided to be honest about what you feel/want etc.

I used to thought that being sure, means you know that one step would lead you to a certain destination that you've drawn out in your head.

Some turn of events redefine my understanding that, the sure part of being sure, is to take that one step, to go for what you are sure is the right thing, and accepting with open hands, the unsure consequences that come after. For, as we grow older and as we grow more tolerant, things don't seem to want to materialise in black and white.
It gets a little complicated.
And it's not a bad thing either, cause when all the colours in the palette merges, what is painted for us, is a much, much beautiful story. ^_^

Being sure means being ready to welcome what was destined to be. :)

If we were The Doctor.
Lets ride our Tardis for that guaranteed adventure, we'll think of the consequences when it comes, and try to not get ourselves killed in the process. Lol.

Love always,
Nora