tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78827274276482148162024-03-05T16:41:23.274+08:00neneknorawhen the introvert nenek writesneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.comBlogger443125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-25972494935351778242023-08-29T11:52:00.003+08:002023-08-29T11:52:58.128+08:00but of courseBismillah
So, it has been done.
A visit to the mental health practitioner.
Starting therapy and new medications.
Perhaps a flaw in the plan was building up the courage to inform important people at an early enough stage so I could take my time adjusting.
Cause being distracted at work and coming back home tired is not actually an ideal situation to be in.
I take what I can though.
One step till the next one.
And acknowledging that, sometimes, step one is as easy as taking a deep breath.
Which is saying something, because breathing is hard some days.
Lets take better care of ourselves. :)
It will eventually be okay! neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-23993848751638632112023-05-14T19:29:00.004+08:002023-05-14T19:29:41.442+08:00It is IBismillah
Hello 34 years of living.
No, my birthday has been so long passed.
I got overwhelmed by a lot of things in life right now. Which I have to admit, was by large, my own fault.
I want to give myself a pat in the back for acknowledging my mistake.
And also for accepting the fact that maybe, I have a slight neurodivergence.
I wish to be able to focus more.
So I could do things I need to do, before my time runs out.
I hope to make discipline, a routine, a habitual, ingrained trait in myself.
I for one, am accepting the fact that, I do not know things, in fact, there are a lot of which, I know nothing of.
Please make it easy for me to bare this weakness of mine, O Allah.
Please make me strong admidst the critiques which are to come.
You are not alone.
There are people who care.
And you care for them.
Do not be alone.
Have faith.
Have strenght.
Make doa.
Repetitively.
Bend, but do not break.
Cause, you can actually do this.
Done is better than perfect.
Just do it.
Nora
(context: thesis not done, self sabotaging and i probably need some medication. cause coffee and redbull is messing up my chronotropic response)neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-23289903346521092082019-10-09T11:21:00.000+08:002019-10-09T11:21:12.447+08:00hidden merchandiseAnnyeonghaseyo!<br />
<br />
I found the rarest item (at least in my opinion) on a recent trip to Korea, New Journey To The West merchandise!<br />
<br />
Was strolling along MBC (how can I not, Infinity Challenge was THE show for me, too bad it got cancelled). And decided to take the route next to A Twosome Place, when me and my sister had to do a double take, as we came to realise that the yellowish thing displayed over the store next to the coffee shop is Myo Han! Both the humanoid and dog. They had real life sized plush toys, priced at about 33000 won and bag charms ranging 7000 - 7500won each.<br />
<br />
We got the bag charm though, (a lot cheaper, and our bags were filled with other things *read: cosmetics to help revive our aging skin) and they're just as adorable!!!!!<br />
<br />
Not sure how long it'll be there but the shop also sells, besides njttw merchandise, the apron from Yoon's kitchen, some stickers and t-shirts. I wish I was rich to get them all but of course, live by our means we shall.<br />
<br />
The store is exactly at the crosswalk between MBC Sangam-dong and CJENM building, next to the coffee store, A Twosome Place. The yellow is so distracting, it's hard to miss. Hope it helps.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Pic 1: view of the store from A Twosome Place cafe<br />
Pic 2: my Myo Han bag charmneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-38228801646010349522019-08-28T12:49:00.000+08:002019-08-28T12:49:03.282+08:00Most of all, what I prayed for, in that desperate time of realisation is, so that I recognise the feelings, and that I come to acknowledge it, and that I could cry if I need to, that I'm able to seek the right help if needed, and most of all, to come to terms and peace with it. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Please don't make me do bad things because of it.</div>
<div>
Please let me always give the benefit of doubt. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Please help me cleanse myself of all the hurtful things I have done.</div>
<div>
Please help me be a better person than I was before. </div>
neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-71900446942742381402019-08-28T12:34:00.000+08:002019-08-28T12:34:20.067+08:00undryBismillah<br />
<br />
My lacrimal duct has not dried up, I learnt that today.<br />
<br />
It was the 14th episode of Hotel Del Luna, in which I find that when you have so much feelings in your heart, but no way to pour it out, it can be dangerously suffocating.<br />
<br />
It's not that I'm desperate to be someone's someone. I have come to terms that it'll make no difference in the end when you'll die alone anyway.<br />
<br />
It's just that, I'm scared of shutting away the loneliness I feel, making it so unrecognisable, to the point of it being a disease that latches on me, and taps away at things I find joy in, and later lead me to do things I'd regret. Things that turns me ugly. Things that blackens my heart.<br />
<br />
Maybe asking "how are you".<br />
Is better done in front of the mirror.<br />
<br />
"I'm not well".neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-88289933177074941572018-07-10T19:54:00.001+08:002018-07-10T19:54:43.388+08:00fearBismillah<br />
<br />
I am not afraid.<br />
I am not afraid.<br />
<br />
A mantra to summon fear.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I am currently in a state of not knowing. The busy life of an intern has made me lose all forms of attachment, resulting in this free floating, go-with-the-flow state I have effortlessly drowned myself in. It is contradictory though, the fact that I am following the crowd, yet I feel asphyxiated. Could it be, I have gone to a place where the air is just not right for me? Am I grazing on the wrong field, feeding my soul with essence not meant for its survival?<br />
<br />
I can feel myself walking aimlessly, a result of waking up late on a regular basis, and failing to observe, where I put my foot, whose shoulder I may have accidentally brushed, the smiles of stranger, those gestures encouraging my near-death-look as I climbed the stairs of the multistorey parking, wishing home would come to me. And the thing I am worried about, is how my nonchalant attitude has made all those encounters meaningless. Have I failed at recognising the small gifts God has given me? Oh Lord, how I shudder to think of what has become of me. What is it that has damaged my heart so?<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
There is evil, as much as there is good. And I cry at the scary thoughts I sometimes think of. And further hurt myself, when, of all things, my emotions associate joy with those scary thoughts, it is as if my scary world, has found a new definition of darkness. And I cry again, for this is too much to bear, and yet, I am afraid if I talked about it, you would run away.<br />
<br />
Cause everybody else has done it.<br />
Run away.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I do not know how to end this yet. I need a solution. I need to believe again.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I know I cannot rely on others on this, it is beyond anyone's control. I hope it would be made easy, finding peace in this hellhole.<br />
<br />
I hope to be good.<br />
<br />
I hope to be well.<br />
<br />
I hope to not end up in hell.neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-65287239639986283282017-11-24T00:19:00.002+08:002017-11-24T00:19:54.942+08:00ridikkulus!Bismillah<br />
<br />
The most ridiculous thing I got my brain involved in this month is Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo. Diluting it with other things. This is what happens when you are put in charge of the Paediatrics Surgery twice in a row.<br />
<br />
On the good side, I have achieved 100% functioning ilioinguinal blocks! Woot woot! And my first caudal block too! Woot woot!<br />
<br />
Back to studying now :)<br />
<br />
Hope that I ace the coming Entrance Exam. Want to get out of this plateau earlier if I could.<br />
<br />
You gotta work hard Nora!<br />
<br />neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-58364792006338533912017-11-11T19:21:00.001+08:002017-11-11T19:21:21.992+08:00novemberBismillah<br />
<br />
November = national novel writing month = stress = making people read my undone novel.<br />
<br />
And the satisfaction from the readers going, "What happens next?" "You are evil! You made me read an unfinished work!" Going into a proper writer's block. And getting upset when the bosses throws you your colleague's unfinished reports. I sometimes wonder if I am doing business instead of healing. Meh.<br />
<br />
Because of the unnecessary stress, I do what I do best.<br />
<br />
I PROCRASTINATE.<br />
<br />
And ended signing up for a program to learn more about city farming next week! Woo hoo.<br />
<br />
I started some hydroponic planting by the window, just today. It makes me feel happy, cause it marks a start of surviving single life. (And the fact that today is single's day. 11.11 <- awesome="" but="" lonesome="" number="" p="" the=""><br />
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<br />
On a sidenote, trying so hard to do the right thing now, and getting friendly with the destroyer of pleasure. The afterlife is afterall, forever.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Nora<br />
<br />
</->neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-23101539898457199392017-10-26T00:07:00.002+08:002017-10-26T00:07:26.143+08:00sleep it offCause I am lost.<br />
<br />
I think I survived well today.<br />
<br />
Gotta sleep before tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Good night, sweet dreams,<br />
I hope we'd both dream of the days<br />
Where we dance under the moonlight.<br />
<br />
Alone in love,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-57611913552777480952017-10-23T18:38:00.002+08:002017-10-23T18:38:37.295+08:00things I wanted to ask youBismillah<br />
<br />
I wanted to ask if you could wait, cause I thought you understood me most. I lack the ability to express my concern, not because I am afraid, rather, my brain is wired a little differently. And in the midst of the myriad of happenings around me, I forgot what was there between us or rather, what was supposed to not be there.<br />
And ironically, it has everything to do with my being hypersensitive, I sense emotions so intensely and fall into sympathy like an object with high inertia; that I build up walls to barricade people from knowing what really goes on inside of me. I build up walls cause I am terrified, what you would make of me. I cannot let you see this tears I am trying hard to hide, constantly ceiling-staring with the hopes of defying gravity. Or how I am grateful that the lights are out when they made wedding vows cause my lacrimal duct does not seem to understand being in public.<br />
These walls I have built, are a joke, for they have multiple one way windows, for I know I am not capable of reaching out. I'd die, rather than face the truth, which I am certain, I cannot handle. I have effortlessly unlearned how to open my heart, and when you want me to be there, then, you must know, it kills me, to not be able to open my mouth. I am aware of the situation you are in, but that God damn one way windows, taught me, no heart was made for breaking. Except probably mine.<br />
I won't say sorry, for, crippled as I am, I will always do my best, to do what I can. I pray for all the goodness to come to you. I pray that He makes ease whatever challenges you are going through. I pray that my hope and dreams overcome my fears. I pray that even in this walled fort, I would be able to set things in motion. <br />
<br />
That being written, I actually wanted to ask, if there is hope for me.<br />
<br />
Even if I knew what you would say, maybe, I miss the comfort of being certain.<br />
<br />
If I could say what I wanted to say, then I would tell you that ADD and relationship sucks, unless you are totally fine with me being honest with you (which, due to high level of anxiety, I would not do unless you proved to be trustworthy. and sadly, now, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS TRUSTWORTHY ANYMORE)<br />
<br />
This leaves us with more questions,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-33607305845940836652017-09-22T09:12:00.002+08:002017-09-22T09:12:28.320+08:00reject pileBismillah<br />
<br />
One of the things I fear in this world, is rejection. I have interest in very peculiar things, and at some points in my life, very peculiar people. And as solid, as present as they are in front of me, I could not bring myself to express my loving for them, afraid they would runaway. When that happens, I hate to think of how I would lose my muse and my companion in striving to be a better person before I leave this world for good. So I try to keep my head low, and my feelings, even deeper, with the hopes of not being found out. And I coaxed it with the fact that, this life, is just a fleeting moment, that time will heal and erase all things, and eventually, none of this will matter anymore.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I went to seek treatment for my eyes cause some symptoms are worsening. And things are not so good. With whatever time left, I need to use my sight with care. Read, watch, appreciate all the beautiful things in life. It is true, what they say, about appreciating what we have, when it is gone, or going for sure. So I am actually aiming to get over my fear of rejection, and start a reject pile, while my eyes are still somewhat healthy. :) Sending in those poetry and prose. Not for the cash, rather, so it would be read, in the hopes of echoing the common ailments we are facing and giving the pat-in-the-back feel to tell everyone, to buck up and strive on.<br />
<br />
It is in my blood to write, and I'd like to use that while I can.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
All is well. There are a lot of good things yet to be discovered, in this adventure called life.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-65862131229205398252017-06-14T21:34:00.003+08:002017-06-14T21:34:36.557+08:00depthBismillah<br />
<br />
I wrote my prayers down<br />
Lest I forget<br />
What I wanted and<br />
At least, I think I need.<br />
<br />
I wrote them down in ink<br />
I was afraid<br />
I might miss<br />
All important wishes.<br />
<br />
I wrote them in a book<br />
Which if read<br />
Readers might die<br />
Earlier than planned.<br />
<br />
Cause written are<br />
Seemingly shallow and simple<br />
Yet sincere hopes<br />
The heart dreams achieving.<br />
<br />
Written for the sole reason<br />
That I am nothing<br />
I am powerless<br />
And I seek Your Mercy.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I struggle to keep my head in something, this ADHD mind, goes a million different places, and I just cannot find a way to hold on to a prayer at times. This year, I found good, in writing down my prayers, so that I could open it up, and muster the attention to read what I wrote. Thank God, the same concept could be applied this Ramadan, and I got to make my set of prayers early in the month. With time, the shallowness of the requests I made to God, seemed to find a depth. And repeating a similar pattern helps to give an idea of what I value most.<br />
<br />
I hope to continuously pray, and that praying is made easy for all of us.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-42118382470037390902017-06-13T06:14:00.002+08:002017-06-13T06:14:44.180+08:00when you are about to let goBismillah<br />
<br />
The loving bond<br />
Of a relationship,<br />
The strength from health<br />
Of a body,<br />
The accompanying serenity<br />
Of nature untouched,<br />
The budding hope<br />
Of a sincere prayer,<br />
<br />
When you are about to let go,<br />
Don't.<br />
<br />
And if you were letting go,<br />
My dear soul,<br />
Then ask for Help,<br />
In prayers, in patience.<br />
<br />
Your written destiny,<br />
Awaits.<br />
<br />
It is a thing so beautiful,<br />
That you need to be ready<br />
To embrace it.<br />
<br />
#makeeaseDearLord<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Nora<br />
<br />neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-8994684233376389502017-05-27T16:28:00.003+08:002017-05-27T16:28:59.707+08:00ramadanBismillah<br />
<br />
Ramadan is a month to develop new habits, and get rid of the ugly ones.<br />
<br />
I moved to a new place, as the memories of the old one grows ancient.<br />
(Pun intended, the old house is aged, poorly maintained, and a threat to my health. I do not have as good an immune system like the rest of its inhabitants. Sorry dear body, for forsaking you over things that don't matter.)<br />
<br />
Grew close to people whom are willing to understand and not punish me for being who I am. I come to realize some red flags, of the relationships I should not forego, that is, when people tell me to change, or ask of my change, or blame others for changing me, refusing to hear what I have to say. I vow to be more honest, with who I am, cause a lot of love is lost if I were not.<br />
<br />
And I am so thankful to Mama, and the siblings, for loving me, regardless of the jumble of irregularity I could come out with (read: hyperactivity). I know you are here now, but one day you will leave and I hope I do not have to be alone the rest of my life (but he has to be funny, energetic, clean, dream big, support my dreams, not selfish, optimistic, loves nature, good looking, has broad shoulders and is taller than I am). Or I hope I have done enough good in this world by then, so I can peacefully move on to the next life, and never experience the pain of being alone.<br />
<br />
Studying is in progress, thank God it finally did, that was one long transition I took. It helps that there are juniors interested in the field, so I could part whatever little knowledge I have to them, enhancing my own understanding in the process. Still over the fence about taking the exam in August. So darn expensive! A sponsor would be nice this time around. Study I shall, nevertheless.<br />
<br />
Getting in touch with a platform to publish my own book. Hope I can straighten things out and make it happen.<br />
<br />
Bismillah<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Getting my high again,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-3846058197210730252017-05-07T18:52:00.001+08:002017-05-07T18:52:07.323+08:00no shit<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AeC040DqzFk" width="480"></iframe><br /><br />
<br /><br />
Bismillah<br /><br />
<br /><br />
Am learning more about myself, and it is a lot of fun. Haha. Cause it just makes it easier to let go of people with so much expectations. And forgiving oneself for having a differently working brain. Yeay!<br /><br />
<br /><br />
Thank God!neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-26739376384741701012017-05-06T21:47:00.000+08:002017-05-06T21:47:02.664+08:00letting goBismillah<br />
<br />
It sure was not easy<br />
At least in the beginning.<br />
<br />
Leaving your heart<br />
At the hand of a stranger<br />
Whom failed miserably<br />
At seeing its beauty?<br />
Definitely the act of<br />
Reckless, not romantic.<br />
<br />
It has taken place<br />
And you learn to embrace<br />
<br />
As<br />
The wounds heal,<br />
And regrets find forgiving.<br />
<br />
You find a new you<br />
After every mistake<br />
And made a vow<br />
In your defense,<br />
Not to hurt<br />
The same way again.<br />
<br />
And that is okay<br />
Cause you also found Love<br />
That is true<br />
Love that gets you through<br />
Love that always awaits you.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Dear God,<br />
Thank You for the lessons learnt, and thank You for sending me abundance of Mercy, and made ease what I thought would shatter me to pieces.<br />
Thank You for showing me to be kind, and not to expect anything in return, and to be grateful, and to thank You by thanking others.<br />
Now I ask to make ease, what is good for me, and the people around me, and the world in general. Make ease my wish to be a vessel of mercy, on my short stay in this world.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-13129049763121486702017-01-31T16:25:00.001+08:002017-01-31T16:25:06.116+08:00intention<p dir="ltr">Bismillah</p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope<br>
My intention is clear<br>
So much that<br>
It echoes <br>
In every step<br>
I make</p>
<p dir="ltr">So much that<br>
Traces of it<br>
Lingers<br>
Even when<br>
I am no longer<br>
Here</p>
<p dir="ltr">So much that<br>
It resonates<br>
In recognition<br>
With yours</p>
<p dir="ltr">So much that<br>
If it were <br>
Unpure<br>
I'd get<br>
A warning</p>
<p dir="ltr">And then<br>
I'd fix it again<br>
That intention<br>
I hold dear</p>
<p dir="ltr">-----</p>
<p dir="ltr">My boss once asked, you are doing this for them, do they ever do it for you? And I just smiled. More than anything, I do it for me. There are so much in this world to be thankful about, and I pray hard, that I'd be that vehicle of mercy, and that, even if it was a small act, I have made your life a bit better, at least for that moment in time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Love,<br>
Nora<br>
</p>
neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-11238140453183191382017-01-06T18:48:00.002+08:002017-01-06T18:48:47.534+08:00i thought of youBismillah<br />
<br />
I thought of you<br />
More so<br />
Now that<br />
You are leaving<br />
<br />
I thought of words<br />
Left unspoken<br />
Then wrote them down<br />
As a token<br />
<br />
If hearts could talk<br />
Can they recognise<br />
One another,<br />
Yours and mine?<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Some people, are just so beautiful, that you cannot help but feed off their loveliness. I hope my knowing you, will be one of the many ways, to make this life, a good one to live in. Even if short.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-22859781117000885042016-12-16T00:10:00.001+08:002016-12-16T00:10:19.874+08:00sadnessBismillah.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To think</div>
<div>
You may not</div>
<div>
Love me</div>
<div>
After all </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Is </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Heart-wrenching</div>
<div>
A pain</div>
<div>
Akin to</div>
<div>
An angina</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Allow me</div>
<div>
To unthink</div>
<div>
Such possibility</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Even if</div>
<div>
It is probable</div>
<div>
I would still</div>
<div>
Pray for you</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
-----</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am in love with a person so wonderfully kind. At times I wished I was noticed but most of all, I wish you peace and happiness and that you be closer to God. I wish for you, a place in His Heavens. Besides prayers, I am just too scared to go to you. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In love all the same, </div>
<div>
Nora</div>
neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-35755946052969484782016-10-16T22:14:00.001+08:002016-10-16T22:14:27.786+08:00complainingBismillah<br />
<br />
Every time I try,<br />
They get held back<br />
My words.<br />
<br />
They got stuck,<br />
Somewhere between<br />
My heart and my lips.<br />
<br />
Or sometimes,<br />
Tears welled<br />
Then endlessly fell.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I met a cat today, it looked so much in pain.<br />
I can see that it was weak.<br />
And it is trying hard to keep up.<br />
With whatever struggle it was in.<br />
The cat treats did not seem to work.<br />
Even as I offer them out of my hands.<br />
I noticed then, it was ?crying.<br />
And stroked the cat, hoping somehow, there was comfort in that.<br />
I turned away to wash my hands.<br />
And when I looked back, you were not there anymore.<br />
<br />
We had a cat once, and the only time it disappeared, it left us forever.<br />
<br />
------<br />
<br />
I was brought to reminisce a mission I held dear, that is, to make a little good in the lives that I have met. I hope when I die, there are no bad thoughts of me. I hope when I die, people would pray for my well being in the Hereafter, when they think of me. I dare not ask for more, even if my heart longs for it.<br />
<br />
I wished, I was loved in return<br />
<br />
But that is too much,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-58986077672848565292016-09-24T22:05:00.002+08:002016-09-24T22:05:21.325+08:00and if you love meBismillah<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hey you, thanks, </div>
<div>
For the thoughts</div>
<div>
And the small gifts</div>
<div>
Oh, you helped me out there</div>
<div>
And I see that</div>
<div>
You want to spend</div>
<div>
More time with me?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you love me</div>
<div>
For goodnes sake</div>
<div>
Love,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then say the words</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
-----</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sometimes, there is a thin line between hugging someone out of gratitude and punching them in the face for inflicting confusion. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wish I had the guts to ask, exactly where do we stand.</div>
<div>
Cause you know, the punching in the face is something I'd consider trading a heartbreak with.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not a gentlelady,</div>
<div>
Nora</div>
neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-69721631880363606732016-09-18T21:27:00.001+08:002016-09-18T21:27:45.915+08:00i could do with a shoulder<p dir="ltr">Bismillah</p>
<p dir="ltr">A shoulder to cry on?</p>
<p dir="ltr">It is tiring, to comfort everyone. It is tiring to tell every single person that there is nothing left to be done, and how like you are deeply rooted in your persona, my dear, so is everybody else, so stop telling me about others being themselves. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Do yourself a favour, and start changing your delusional thoughts of people trying to get at you. Arghhh. </p>
<p dir="ltr">And I cannot say all this out loud cause I know it will hurt your pride so much and bridges will burn. </p>
<p dir="ltr">-----</p>
<p dir="ltr">I sometimes wish I could break much easily, then maybe I can shut off all these noises.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Too strong? Or simply too numbed to feel. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I don't want to fall to pieces<br>
I just want to sit in front of you<br>
I don't want to talk about it</p>
<p dir="ltr">And I don't want a conversation<br>
I just wanna cry in front of you<br>
I don't want to talk about it</p>
<p dir="ltr">-----</p>
<p dir="ltr">Thanks for trusting me so much to have told me things though.<br>
I wish I could trust someone enough. <br>
But of course, that is too much to ask.</p>
<p dir="ltr">*finds a mirror</p>
<p dir="ltr">I cannot even trust myself.</p>
neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-35497079702292962882016-07-23T17:18:00.001+08:002016-07-23T17:18:11.432+08:00not mineBismillah<br />
<br />
What I have<br />
Was never mine to begin with<br />
If I were borrowed<br />
I would want me back<br />
In a state<br />
Where I know<br />
I have been used well<br />
That I have served my purpose<br />
And I have done so<br />
Righteously<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Today is a day, to be grateful for my brain, to be grateful for my ATPs, to be grateful for my heart, to be grateful that I have lived again.<br />
<br />
One day at a time,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-72427625790098603272016-07-22T20:19:00.002+08:002016-07-22T20:19:52.391+08:00ImprisonedBismillah<br />
<br />
Living tortures me<br />
Yet I fear Death<br />
I have very little<br />
For an Afterlife<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Do not argue<br />
Do not lie<br />
Have good manners<br />
<br />
It is not hard, to build a house in Jannah<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I hope my sins will be forgiven.<br />
<br />
:'(neneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882727427648214816.post-1995296393130958082016-07-22T13:37:00.001+08:002016-07-22T13:37:12.243+08:00deja vuBismillah<br />
<br />
Feelings<br />
<br />
I cannot afford to love you, so I am keeping a distance. Whilst hoping the broad difference in latitude between us, may wean me off catching glimpses of you. It was not short, the meeting we had, I am afraid we have gotten use to having each other around. However, as much as I think, I have shamelessly walked closer, it felt like I am in fact, only running further.<br />
<br />
I am afraid. Cause feelings such as this, has made me forget who I am before, suppose that happens again? Though in that small little chamber in my heart I hope, this time it would be different.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, I am glad I admire kindness, discipline and responsibility this time around.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
Long weekend<br />
<br />
Time to digest the protocol. Hope to be done by next Thursday. Here we go!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Noraneneknorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05170414241517336680noreply@blogger.com0