I was asked why I still have the drive. And it is a question that doesn't surprise me. I have, like my colleagues been in that state where I thought just about anything is better than being a houseman. Haha.
Maybe with time, I realised that while ideal living was never something achievable, the only way I will get through this claimed suffering, as a better person, is by turning all the mess into a tool. And my, how much that change of perspective has helped me cope.
I have work at hand, but my job requires communication. And if I could, during rounds smile encouragingly at my patients. And on days when I can entertain their requests of buying credits for them to contact family members, then I would.
I used to dream of being great things, but He taught me to start small. Cause all great things must bud from somewhere. And to be consistent at doing small things, He said He rewards those more, yes?
What kept me going, was rather my keeping my dreams locked away, so that I could focus on what I can do in the now. And to be able to realise that, was Alhamdulillah.
I may not live the live I've always dreamed, but to be grateful for the now, Allah will offer more later, kan? I'll hold on to His promise.