Monday, January 12, 2015

i have not the answer to that question

Bismillah

I may have found a comfort zone working in the line of medicine. And with that, I have come to terms with rerealising my values. Funny how often, that I forgot who I am, when under stress. And with the clarity that follows, I go asking myself, oh my, why was I THAT pitiful? Haha.
Haih. Still a lot left to learn to become an adult.

I thank God, for this wave of calmness He has been sending lately. Are my prayers being answered with this comfort?

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
*mental note - don't ever stop praying, and to seek forgiveness*

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I thought the question regarding spouses stops at family level and boy, was I wrong. Now that I am familiar with my colleagues at work, everyone new would be asking my marital status. And it's kinda funny when it came to a surprise to them as to why I am still single.

"I don't think I am ready. If you've been in my shoes, then you would have known, the tremendous amount of support I need to trust that it is the right step", is what I wish to say.

"Tak ada orang nak, nak buat camne, ada calon ke?" is what I threaten them with, by which time they would stop asking.

My surgeons suggested something else that I guess won't hurt much.

"Azizi, have you decided to join us (surgery)?"
"No Sir, still thinking"
"You see, Surgery is like marriage, you just jump into it. You shouldn't think too much, too much of it will scare you. And you will back out. Just jump into it."
"What if I regret it?"
"I jumped in, no regrets" (looking at me, with what I assumed was an assuring smile behind that mask)

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I guess I can jump into Surgery.
The fall doesn't look that scary.

With that, lets continue to work our ass off to be Star Girl (of the surgery department) and isthikarah berpanjangan.

Joining the scalpel side,
Miss Nora