Saturday, August 31, 2013

empat

Bismillah

---

Empat

"Nak aku beritahu sesuatu?"

"Apa dia?"

"Tentang kebenaran"

"Whoa. Hold your horses. Dari raut wajah kau, dengan senyum sinis tu, kenapa aku rasa kebenaran ni menyakitkan ya?"

"Well, that's the thing about truth, truth hurts."

"Dan kau nak beritahu pasal kebenaran yang menyakitkan ni sebab... ?"

"Aku rasa kau patut tahu. Sebenarnya..."

Secara automatik, dia mengangkat tangan kanannya, kelima-lima jari disesarkan, seolah-seolah bergerak untuk menghalang daripada terkeluarnya kata-kata yang mampu menjatuhkan lagi semangatnya "KEJAPPPP. Aku rasa, aku pilih untuk tak nak dengar. Or at least, bukan daripada kau. Kalau kau tahu benda ni akan sakitkan aku, then, aku nak dengar daripada orang lain."

"Tapi kau kena tahu benda ni! Biasalah kebenaran, kebenaran menyakitkan."

"Tapi kau dah fikir ke, benda ni akan jadi lebih membantu atau lebih harmful sekarang? Serius aku rasa, aku tak nak tahu. Biar aku cari sendiri. Siapa lagi yang tahu benda ni?"

"L. L tahu."

"Okay, nanti biar aku tanya dia. Aku akan tanya bila perlu."

---

There are truths you already know, and you could not bear the other party to know that you do know. Simply cause you are not ready to get involved in a mess.

The next time around, help me be less impulsive. Help me calm down. Help me control my tongue. Help me control my anger.

Astargfirullah.

Love,
Nora

Friday, August 30, 2013

merdeka

Bismillah

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Dan kita dalam perjalanan menuju merdeka hakiki.
Beza, dahulu dengan sekarang.
Sekarang kita berganding bahu.
Sekarang kau dan aku sepasukan.

Biar kita menang usaha.
Dari bakat terus sia-sia.

Things which are dear to our hearts, are things we want to protect.

-----

Finally Skyped my Prague chaperons ie ex neighbor.
Alhamdulillah dear God, for sending me Your Mercy through them.

And tonight, lets retrain ourselves, to put the glass down again. :)
All will be well.

Love,
Nora

timbangan

Bismillah

Then again, the Jazz that is about to be produced is cheaper in comparison. :/ Even if my heart is with the Fiesta. Ok, lets decide as we test drive them all.

Agak sedih when the first step into becoming an adult is represented with the financial burden. I can get a secondhand car for a far cheaper price, but that will come with the occasional finding-for-parts which I may not be able to spend my time to do.

-----

Owh and tomorrow, tomorrow I shall meet people who are family, but not the blood-related kind. Maybe I can ask their opinion about what's clouding my head. Haha. Oh my tak sabarnyaaaaaaaa

-----

I hope she does well today, I hope she regains her strength. I hope she comes out of this as the best person in His eyes.

Nora

steering

Bismillah

Apparently, the best way to steer away from a topic is to talk about cars. :O :O :O

The one thing I can't wait to do once I get my license is, to test drive cars. Ya ya ya yaaaa.

Very very very interested in this.



Yeah, in that colour as well. :D
I'm pushing for Fiesta, Abah said Jazz. Or Preve.
For safety purposes, I don't wanna get a Proton. Walaupun engine bagus sangat niiii.. Haha.

Nora

Thursday, August 29, 2013

gelabah

Bismillah

Rupa-rupanya, things such as arranged marriage boleh berlaku in this household.

Harini dapat lecture 4 jam straight. Dari 8 pagi, sampai semua orang dekat kedai makan tu dah blah. Yang tinggal cumalah pak cik mak cik kakak adik yang jaga kedai.

Istigfar dalam keluhan dan renungan jauh dan popping-forehead-vein.

Jangan judge orang yang memberitahu tapi judge apa yang diberitahu.
Susah woiii susah.

Turun masak. Will update later. This is too much for me to hold. T_T

Nora

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

thank God

Bismillah

Regarding Pak Cik N, betullah this time around, I over-thought. Assa!!! Thank God for the enlightenment one mentor-mentee coffee session. He's pursuing this lady in Malaysia. And now, I'm nowhere near where he is. *dance of joy*

Tak mengapa untuk aku rasa bahagia terlepas daripada benda-benda ni. Tak mengapa untuk aku rasa tak selesa. Haha. Buat baik itu harus, namun marilah tidak melampaui batas.

-----

Traveling to Putrajaya today. I hope the journey would be manageable.

-----

Kriteria ketiga.

He shouldn't be serious all the time.

The day I meet you, everything would be indescribable though. *Le sigh*

The budak-budak and I jammed to this. Of all the songs we could give our all to :P


Hopeless romantic, that, I already know that I am,
Nora

lost control

Bismillah

Never sleep and cycle.
Almost got hit by a vehicle. A trailer at that. And scraped my knee.
And the tendency to hit the lesion area is somehow increased. And my brother helped with that mission by accidentally hitting it with the edge of a chair. Twice.

Life is a little hectic nowadays, and I'm thankful for that. It means less room for complications. I know how a lot of people prefer to opt to rest before work. Can't say it's the same for me though.

I hope this is not a form of escape.
I learnt that, some people, can't be together for far too long. A period which, will only cause more harm than good. Oh well. The best of things will take place and happen. Live the moment. Put the glass down. It's not your burden to carry :)

-----

Arms


What can I do, when what I could offer is very little?

-----

Forever bestie

Flo oh Flo. Ok. Simpan duit for the flight to your wedding. Must simpan extra for the brother. Cause Father seems to oppose the idea of my traveling the world on my own. And because of that, last Saturday, for a fraction of moment, I wished I was a boy.

Out of my friends, I know I don't see this girl that often but I'm glad she came over to sleep at my place, my last two nights in Prague. :) She influences me in a good way. And I hope somehow, God gave me the chance to do the same. I really hope to be reunited with her one day. I really do.

Nora

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

melankolik

Bismillah

So we met for the final usrah session.
Dan air mata tidak dapat dibendung, mencurah keluar ibarat letusan-letusan kecil. Aku rasa mata ni dah lupa nak menangis macam mana, tu pasal air mata tak mengalir tapi sebaliknya keluar dalam paket-paket kuantum.

Perpisahan kali ini, nampaknya jauh lebih lama daripada perpisahan cuti musim panas kita. Aku nak simpan semua orang dalam poket boleh tak? Kemudian keluarkan satu per satu saat rindu.

Aih. Tak boleh. Itu pentingkan diri namanya.

Tak mengapalah, mari kita terus doa, suatu hari hati-hati yang bertaut mesra, berjumpa lagi. Di sini, mahupun di Sana. Sana kekal abadi. Sana kuharap di Syurga Ilahi.

Nora

Monday, August 19, 2013

again and again

Bismillah

Billing that comes 3 years late.
Last week, my mind was occupied with some house problems. My landlord gave me a 3 years' worth of electricity bill. Yeay! *sorakan penuh sarcasm*

It's been a while since I had to voice out for justice. Good thing there were friends. I felt cheated weh. I told him what he's doing is crazy. And he tried to reason with me how he was "helping" us. And I told him, I don't get which part of getting-people-into-debt-they-are-unaware-of is "helping" in any way. I told him, even credit card users know just how much they've spent.

*Audrey's slap-your-face may come in handy here*

It is settled Alhamdulillah. :( Penat jugak hal rumah ni. Serius, masa Kirin shifted to Olomouc I didn't want to be "Ketua Rumah". I wished my age would be an advantage, and any one of the two would be it instead. I lack initiative. Malas nak cari pasal. However, if you've asked God to make you a better person, and if you lack initiative, somehow, He'll bring something into your hands, to help you better yourself. Aku rasalah. Tu pasal, nak tak nak, kena lalui juga liku-liku kehidupan yang tak disangka-sangka.

It took a whole week to settle, and that time, Suhaibwebb came out with this article, on how God created the Earth in the period of 6 days. When, He definitely could do it like, pronto. A lesson learnt, is, how things take time. It takes time, so, be patient, and don't worry too much. :) Things take time. Kyaaaa. Thank You, for all these timed reminders. A little gift for the boggled-somewhat-soul. :')

-----

Business

Nak buat bisnes kena rajin. Tu yang Papa Chunk ajar. Agaklah. Hatta nak buat bisnes Agung pun. Nak solat jemaah pun kena rajin menerima ajakan/mengajak. Keuntungan hanya menjadi kejayaan bila kita berusaha mendapatkannya. Angan-angan tiadalah membawa ke mana.

Sila rajin.
Sila rajin setiap hari.

-----

Again

"Aku tahu, perasaan bukan benda yang boleh dikawal. Tapi, kalau aku dah bagi tahu direct aku tak nak, aku rasa, kau patut terima hakikat untuk go through that patah hati dan lepaskan perasaan-perasaan yang kau pernah wujudkan dalam diri. Jangan bakar perasaan itu dengan angan-angan dan harapan palsu. Nanti merana." Serius nak cakap macam ni.

Tak, aku bukan hot stuff. And I'm also not the kind to give false hope. So I deleted you from my social contact. And one year later, you make an entrance through a different medium. And you're liking all the posts.

Aku harap aku just over-react dan over-think. Tapi kalau perlu, aku tak kan teragak-agak untuk block kau dari medium baru itu. For now, be kind Nora, be kind. :'(

Making people scared won't get you very far,
Nora

Thursday, August 15, 2013

training

Bismillah

At the end, of the istikhara prayer, what we mentioned:
"ordained for me the good, wherever it may be, and make me content with it"

Hurts can't hold you down, as long as you don't regret. Hurts should last a little while though. :)
Sebab masa itulah rasa paling nak "bermanja" dengan Tuhan.
To seek that clarity and comfort and a deeper understanding of trusting His course.
Alhamdulillah, somehow, Ramadhan prepared the heart to think things through. (Whoa my heart can think. lol lol)
Alhamdulillah, cause I learnt that things take time. And time mature an understanding in that it gave room to love more and hurt less. Cause I can filter what not to say, that may influence other's decision, to be bias for my own selfish reasons.

Make me content with what You've ordained me with.
Make us content with what You've ordained us with.

-----

Bina umat

Bagaimana harus bina umat. Kalau kepentingan aku dan engkau tak pernah sama.
Huhu.
Love more, hurt less.
Give less room for the Love of Power, and let the Power of Love win it all.
Dalam erti kata lain, PEACE Y'ALL

Nora

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

:)

Bismillah

O Allah, grant this heart peace, for I am at lost right now.
I think I broke my own heart.
Can you make it that it was purely for Your sake.
So that it won't hurt that much?
If this can be cried out, then can you make the crying an easy task?

This is a little too overwhelming. :'(

Nora

Sunday, August 11, 2013

vulnerable

Bismillah

Please grant us the strength to love
The bravery to heal
And to be a blessing to those around us.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin

truth is

Bismillah

It has been running around in my mind for quite sometime. And I'm surprised that the only person I've ever told about this is Jitka. Jitka, the organiser of the fifth and six year students of the faculty. Now that I'm writing it, it'll be known to many I guess.

Public Health, with a specialisation in social care. Not Paediatrics. Not O&G. Not Neonatology. My heart is in that I guess. To be a blessing to the broken hearted. Cause my soul, mind and body lives with the memories of being stretch too much. And I know how hurtful and damaging the effect could be in the beginning. And then God taught me to love myself, by learning to know who I am, from learning to know who He is. It is after the realisation that I can actually learn to really love other things. To unconditionally love.

Because if children grew up without forgiving, then, what would become of the future generation? It is sad to see teenagers being left to live on their own, when, clearly, they need guidance. There is a reason why we all have to go through infancy, toddler, childhood, teenage years and eventually adult. Cause of the growth potential, physically and mentally, that may be best explained by these stages. Circumstances would lead to some being held accountable for bigger things at a much younger age. Hence, being a bit dysfunctional, without proper help.

ps: I asked about abuse cases here in Prague. Very rare. And in Malaysia, well, do read this article. http://www.thesundaily.my/news/793489

Public Health. Not a glamorous job. Tapi when your heart is in it. And you feel like it's a masalah ummah.

I should go for it, kan?



This cost almost 3/4 of a million RM. Dan ia adalah batu loncatan untuk bigger things. Aku harap pilihan ni yang terbaik.

I don't know how many Panadols I've consumed. And the Coldrex. Coffee. 3 big jars of those this semester alone. Red Bull, last drank that for exam in the previous semester. I decided it's only good for sports activity, when I need forced concentration. Not useful for exams, cause you force your brain to fry itself when clearly, it needs rest. Ample of duas. Yang tak ternilai. And on top of it all, Divine Intervention. Walaupun aku agak skeptik dengan term "intervention" sebab God doesn't intervene, He doesn't need to, He motions it ALL.

-----

Good people


God made me learnt lots from muallafs. Ghuraba' dalam erti kata sebenar. They are not seasoned by culture and family traditions. They uphold what is written with more ease. As a sign of living in gratitude for His Mercy. They learnt about God and fell in love with Him. And they don't judge, cause they understand very well, that everyone comes from somewhere. Aduhaiii.. bersih sungguh hati-hati kamu.
I hope to be in an institution to be among these people. As a side activity, besides being at the hospital. Surround myself with as many great people as possible, but not leave anyone behind. Cause I hope to have that epic gathering dekat Jannah, with all dear to this heart. :)

-----

Repeatedly forgiving

Even if it means that I have to call you both separately, I think I'll be ready to let go of whatever ideals I have before. For I want you both to be happy.
Cause whatever happened in life, you both love me. And I must love you, together or not. As a daughter, I need to do at least that much.
I won't have childish hopes, for I can be very unforgiving if I do.
I hope only from Him, and I hope to be prepared to love whatever is given to me.

Oh Allah, make me and the rest, a blessing for them. And please make us among the righteous, and the occupants of your Paradise, and let not the Hell fire touch us.
It'll be hard, so please please instill in us the strength to go on trusting You.

Rasa kuat bila lemah sebagai hamba,
Nora

decisions

Bismillah

"Kau ni asyik minta redha Allah, kau dah betul-betul redha ke dengan Allah?"

Terpukul. Aku berterima kasih dekat Tuhan sebab bagi bantuan dan petunjuk untuk aku buat keputusan. Dan kemudian memudahkan aku untuk melepaskan satu cabaran hidup.

Aku kasihan dekat Superman. Aku nak bagi tahu kat dia, tak mengapa Encik Superman, Tuhan ada. Dan Tuhan sayangkan awak.
(Lebih-lebih lagi sebab awak dah belajar tutup aurat, pakai underwear dekat dalam instead. Lol.) Saya tahu tak senang, tapi, awak jangan berhenti jadi baik, jangan berhenti jadi rahmat untuk orang sekeliling. Sebab kemampuan dan kelebihan awak, tak ramai yang ada. :)


-----

Borang BM

Harus kuperah jua otak ini to fill it in. I hope it's the right thing. Rasa macam susah. Rasa macam proposal Pak Cik Uzbek menarik je sekarang. Ustaz punya pasallah ni. *antara orang yang terpelihara, orang-orang yang hati dia dekat dengan masjid* (yang mana, membuat aku tertanya jugak, adakah hati aku dekat dengan masjid atau makanan masjid? Tappp. Lempang laju-laju.). Aku rasa tak mampu sendiri mencari, sebab aku sangat takut dengan kegagalan rumah tangga kalau tak bersefahaman. Aku bagitahu kawan aku, aku tak tahu sebenarnya orang macam mana yang sesuai. Dia suruh aku tulis pasal diri aku. That way orang boleh kenal aku. Bagi tengok blog ni boleh tak? Yang expose segala-galanya tentang diri ini. 7 years of blogging. Pengsan. Lol lol. :/

Oh well, orang cakap the harder it is, the more we would appreciate it.
Or ada jugak version cakap, kalau ia dipermudahkan, then it might be the right thing.
Confusing aite?

Dan kekeliruan inilah sebabnya, tak boleh guna timbangan manusia. lol.

If it is meant to be, it is meant to be. Whatever the means. If you don't work for it, you have none to blame but yourself, when later is too late.

The next big step. Into becoming an adult.
Makes me wanna cry.

Cuak cuak cuaaaaaaaaaakkkkk,
Nora

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

why make it that way

Bismillah

It's scary how at any mention of how someone is evolving into being a more wholesome person, ade sahaja makhluk yang nak tarnish and mutter disbelief.
And it's scary how, someone ask you to think, why this or that person doesn't do things, like orang ni kipas susah mati artis tak tutup aurat, apsal brother ni tak pergi masjid bla3.
Because all these statements and questioning leads to the mind to think, even for a fraction of a moment, about the possibility that the person being talked about is lacking something.

Terasa kadang-kadang, satu usaha bawah tanah sedang berlaku untuk pulaukan sesetengah orang. Lawak dowh. Serius lawak. Macam mana kalau dalam tidak sedar kau, aku sebenarnya makhluk yang lebih hina daripada orang yang kau begitu takut akan status keimanannya?

Amaran ni lebih untuk aku kot. Sebab aku dah tahu perasaannya sekarang, jadi wajarlah untuk aku lebih berjaga-jaga. Sebab aku makhluk yang ada kelemahan, ample of kelemahan, and orang lain pun, ade kelemahan mereka. Janganlah sebab kelemahan yang satu tu, kelebihan yang berjuta-juta lemon yang ada pada seseorang, kita tutup mata dan tak acknowledge.

Think of all the good things everyone has ever did for you. And think of them as a Mercy from Allah. That way, you'll fall for the Creator and make peace with the shortcomings of the creation. (helps you not to fall for the creation as well, kot lah. lol lol.)

MashaAllah, say Alhamdulillah! :D heeeee

-----

Kelas terakhir. Tapi tautan jantung-jantung kita, harapnya, forever and ever.




Dan semua orang punya peluang yang berbeza-beza. Sebab Tuhan sahaja tahu, perjalanan terbaik untuk hamba-hambaNya menuju destinasi Agung itu. Semoga setiap detik waktu, setiap helaan nafas, setiap Joule tenaga kita, semuanya buat kita lagi God conscious.


Love always,
Nora :)

Monday, August 05, 2013

batman

Bismillah

Kriteria Kedua

SOMEONE WHO FIGHTS FOR ME. Someone who thinks I'm wonderful and worthy enough to drain his thoughts and efforts into.
Cause a few friends told me that I allow myself to be taken advantage of. When in my mind, it was more of a if-I-help-this-person-and-this-person-does-good-from-it-maybe-God-will-reward-me. I understand the concern though, Flo stated clearly that I shouldn't fall for someone who will only take advantage of me. Said I'm too nice (can a person be too nice? Maybe?).
I've seen how in marriages, people forget about the vows they make. And instead of fighting for one another, they fight against each other. Thus bringing apart what was supposed to be entwined.
And fighting to keep a relationship alone is exhausting. Cause you're never sure with the choice you've made, having doubts but all the while keeping a happy face, beneath which confusion roams.

For love is a verb.

I asked them about people of the same career for I still can't imagine not marrying a doctor (not for the title, rather the understanding). Honestly am scared to commit but everything has a first time kan, things should start somewhere. *bites nails*

-----

Graduasi


Tengah hari kejadian (oh yeah, I've graduated! wee hoo! thank God ^_^), I felt like a runaway bride cause I was running late, dan dengan gayanya, I ran across Narodni Trida dalam boots 2 1/2 inches and baju yang tak membenarkan melangkah besar. Gambar ni lawak sebab nampak macam balik shopping, bukannya balik Grad. lol.


Dan sekeping ijazah itu. Hasil keringat 6 tahun belajar. Amek kau, sila translate kalau mampu. 

-----

Batman. Sebab superheroes fight for people. 
Dan Batman unggul bergaya. Tapi Ironman lagi gaya mutu keunggulan. 
Masalahnya dengan superheroes, mereka semuanya ibarat pesakit mental. 
Tak mengapa kot, sebab kita semua, ada masalah mental masing-masing. 

-----

Semalam Abah got hit by a car, while loading things into the bonnet. Ada orang reverse kereta. Haih ignorant sungguhlah, kalau dah dapat lesen tapi reverse kereta pun boleh langgar orang. Ni siapa yang issue lesen ni. :/ 

Dan sesungguhnya, aku takut dengan lesen doktor yang bakal dipertanggungjawabkan kepada aku. Aku tahu, hidup sebagai doktor ni, prioriti aku adalah pesakit. Aku harap aku mampu untuk pikul semua itu. Tuhan, sepertimana Engkau telah jaga aku sejak wujudnya aku, peliharalah diri aku untuk terus menerus berada dalam keadaan sedar, tentang semua niat dan tujuan aku. Janganlah kau jadikan aku manusia yang tak bertanggungjawab. Serius takut. 

Nora

Saturday, August 03, 2013

diarrhea

Bismillah

It's because, I've been busy the whole of previous week, but there was so much going on that I can't possibly not write them.
Now that I finally have room to breathe, let me flood this blog with my diarrhea of updates.

Yee haaaaa...

Nora ;)


that song

Bismillah

The song Ghuraba' will remind me of Zuhra. Cause one day after class, we were walking back to Vaclavske Namesti tram stop when we had this sudden urge to sing. 
She started off with a pop song, with the finger snapping motions and all and then, we went "Ooi! It's Ramadhan!" And we switched to Ghuraba'. "Ghuraba'~ ghuraba' ghuraba' ghuraba'" 

Lagu sedih yang memberi harapan. 
I'm going to miss being a stranger.
I'm going to miss to not be influenced.
I'm going to miss making choices for Him because I wanted to.
I'm going to miss not being told what to do. 

Hehe. Too melancholic. 
It doesn't matter really, as long as you're doing the right thing. 
No one could argue with the right thing.

One night, I had an unexpected visitor by the name of Lenka Vorlova. She's actually 16 years older than I am. Unbelievable right? Hehe.

It's a bugger really, that her housemate doesn't give her a house key just because she was late at becoming a member of the house. She pays the same rent and everything. Mehh. Her housemate is a guy. Dude, kalau kau bukan bapa or suami perempuan itu, aku tak faham kenapa kau perlu banyak sangat peraturan. Dahlah peraturan ni tak masuk akal langsung. Lepas tu boleh pulak kau tinggalkan dia dekat masjid sorang-sorang tengah malam. Apa kes bro? Tapi tak apa, sebab, kalau orang macam ni tak wujud dalam dunia ni, then, aku tak dapat nak jumpa seorang Lenka Vorlova. Dia perempuan Czech yang tipikal, katanya, kecuali arak, dia tak minum arak. Dan yang aku baca dari raut wajah dia, dia dah lama tak berehat. Mungkin tak, Tuhan nak bagi dia rehat dekat katil empuk rumah ni sebenarnya? Mandi sepuas-puasnya, makan coklat dan minum kopi sambil meluahkan perasaan. Kemudian tidur tanpa bimbang sebab ada orang untuk kejut sahur, solat Subuh bersama-sama. Mungkin Tuhan nak bagi aku kawan juga. Sunyi bilik ini tanpa tetamu. Somehow, aku rasa, dia ghuraba' sebenar. Cabaran yang bukan sebarangan cabaran. Aku harap dia terus teguh berdiri. Aku harap semua yang kita lalui, akan tambahkan kepastian kita tentang Tuhan, dan yakinkan kita, Dia berada di mana-mana sahaja.


Bila tiada lelaki macho dalam dunia ni, Tuhan gantikan dengan pertolongan yang pelbagai. Itu pasal, kita cuma boleh bergantung harap kepada Tuhan. Tuhan tak pernah mengecewakan. 

Allahlah Yang Maha Mengetahui.

Alhamdulillah Ar Razzaq, Al Wahhab, atas kurniaanMu,
Nora

tiga

Bismillah

---

Tiga

"Saya nak terus bebas berlari. Tak perlu ambil peduli. Bahagia dalam dunia sendiri"

"Tapi nak tak nak, tanggungjawab tu sedia menanti. Kalau awak tak ambil langkah tu sekarang, nanti awak jugak yang rugi".

"Untuk jadi dewasa? Heh. Macam mana kalau pilihan untuk jadi dewasa itu dikaitkan dengan kesengsaraan?"

"Tak faham"

"Dia kata, dia tunggu kami semua cukup dewasa. Bila dah cukup dewasa, then, dia akan let go of Mama"

"Owh, maksud awak, talak?"

"Letting go. Ada maksud lain lagi ke? Entahlah. Kadang-kadang saya rasa keadaan dah semakin pulih. Tapi, letting go...hmmm, itu dah termasuk ungkapan serius, you know, macam kematian ke? Benda yang tak patut dibawa main. Jadi, takut tu tetap ada. Takut sebab saya rasa, dia takkan sebut sesuatu yang dia tak maksudkan. Takut sebab kalau betullah saya dewasa, saya perlu saksikan kejatuhan sebuah rumah tangga"

"Awak tahu, sebenarnya, tak ada keluarga yang normal dalam dunia ni"

"Well, that's a first"

"And, awak tak perlu berselindung di sebalik kegagalan orang lain sebenarnya"

"Maksudnya?"

"Awak ada kehidupan sendiri. Awak corak perjalanan awak. Jadi dewasa, bukan sebab sesiapa, jadi dewasa, sebab itu prasyarat untuk jadi manusia yang lebih berjaya"

"Oh, eh?"

"Terlalu banyak potensi terbuang, kalau awak biarkan jiwa dan minda awak terus terperangkap dalam masalah orang lain. Being stationary, doesn't change anything budak!"

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Hug Squad

There are things we wish to un-hear, because the words haunts and scares the living out of us, but life, doesn't exactly work that way. In an attempt to satisfy what we feel is our need, we hurt others along the way. It seems logical to us, to say those things, without even thinking, what it would result in others. For what matters is only our opinion, our rights, our entitlement to be respected. Adoi. Aku pun tak terlepas daripada menjadi si penjual ikan.

Satu meeting CzeMSA dahulu, regarding the iGames in Prague. Ibnu came out with this idea that, if anyone make any mistake, then, they should make a heart with their hands and say, "with love". :) I thought that it was a lovely thing to do, even if it may sound childish. Well, maybe we all should learn from children and be a lil' more forgiving of others. Forgive and apologise before the hurt has room to develop. Apologise cause everyone has their say, which may or may not hurt somebody else.

Owh and hugs work fine as well. There's this assurance that comes from someone firmly gripping you back to your senses. Or in cases where you can't speak of the matter that bugs you to anyone, I find that wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing your biceps helps. Almost collapse the day this happened. Was so shocked by what I heard, that I can't actually feel my legs, and  Then, I met Syamee later in the night, and it was okay again.

Honestly, I feel like the paragraphs above is very ambiguous. I meant to say two things:
1. The hurt brought upon hearing things from others that we did not expect to hear.
2. The hurt we cause others by saying things that we feel is alright. At least by our standard.
So technically, whether we like it or not, because of the complex build of the human mind and soul, we will, one day, end up hurting someone. Thus, like how we are in a sin-then-ask-for-forgiveness-relationship with God, we should be in a ask-for-forgiveness-and-forgive-people relationship with people.

I hope I can find friends for the hug squad later  in life. I think HO life will be a bit demanding. Hope my supply of awesome and optimism won't run out too fast. Two years, kan? We can do this inshaAllah!



They say when you've spent enough time with someone, you begin to look like them, you begin to resemble them. And there was a moment in time when, we realised, we look a lot like each other in some ways. I thank Allah to have met me with this wonderful friend, Florence, for she has, brought out the best in me, by being the best of herself. :) It amazes me how we can be calm and crazy in the same moment. To be laidback but to not leave the important things at the same time. Great friends are rare and precious. And like she said, I hope one day, our children and grandchildren could be as close as we are right now. :)

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She wanted to run away so bad, but, truly, there's nothing to escape from. :)

With that tranquility, live life, live it for Him. 

Love always,
Nora