Thursday, December 27, 2012

part two

"Just tell me how to stop it.
Stop what?
Seeing it. 
How do you stop seeing it?
There is so much pain and I don't know how to not notice it."

There are things you wish you never remembered.
I mean, they don't, but why must it be etched on my enchepalon?

I've been trying to get an answer for that.
For what seems like a long time.

You can't choose where you come from.
But you can choose where to go from there.
Atm, I just feel that I'm not fit to be vulnerable.

Allah knows what you do not know.

I'll know why when the time comes.
Lets not think too much about it, kay?
God is good.


Anyway, here's the continuation from previous book review.

I wanted to write on love because it was highlighted so many times. Not just boy-girl relationship, but the parent-child, friend-friend etc.

Then I realised that, what I really wanted to talk about was mercy because what the characters portray was more than a simple I'm-attracted-to-you-kind-of-feel.

For mercy includes love, sacrifice, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness and generosity. Phew~ If we all have mercy, then maybe a lot of relationships could be saved, no?

The part that touches me most was when Dad comforted Hazel. "I'm sorry Gus died.......But it was sure a privilege to love him, huh?"  I (Hazel) nodded into his shirt. "Gives you an idea how I feel about you," he said.

It was an obvious statement that needed to be spelt out for her. Because she was so busy loving others that when they're gone, she doesn't realise that there are those, living, who loves her just as much.

It's still a wonder for me, the chemicals of how feelings work. It's not something you can tell your heart not to do. It's a privilege. And somehow, even a heartbreak would not revoke the privilege status.

That's that. Still, being merciful is of more importance, for love could only get you so far. How to be merciful? That, I shall have to read more before finding out. :P


In all honesty, I miss home very much. :(
Then I think of how I have about 7 months minimally left to live in Prague, and I start missing Prague.

Thanks to a person who had helped me understand my complex self, discover wounds and directing my mind to find solutions instead. I never knew the road of discovery could be, besides rewarding, very nauseating. Haha.

Alhamdulillah for that small venture.

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