In an attempt to escape a life I've lived, I grew more confused.
The most precious advise from a friend by far was, to return to Allah.
So it's good to know that really, eventually, if you do things with the right intention, then good things will come out of it. Be it in a week, a month, a year, longer.
Worrying halts. Blaming halts.
The pathological reaction isn't so malignant right now anyway, so lets hope for the best :)
And even if you can't break through, it's not a problem, it's just the way you are.
Besides, God gave you friends and family who knew and did not judge nor leave you behind. It's not a lonesome journey after all.
To yet another start, Bismillah.
Yesterday I felt like the whole world was against me. When in fact, it was only 4 out of the world population. Bergurau ada tahapnya. You needn't be so harsh. Try walking in my shoes, and try to laugh it off. It's doable, but never easy. Especially when I'm freaking tired like yesterday. :'( Meanie.