Monday, December 31, 2012

pillowtalk

We finally talked about it.

I don't know where the road would go from now, but I'm glad we finally did have that conversation.

Thank God.

Because opening up is the first step to be strong.

And when you're strong enough, He'll let you be vulnerable.
(don't ask how I came to this, because I guess, the way Islam speaks to me may be different. So long as I go by the Quran and Sunnah, aite? :) )

To a sister, I love dearly, Farhana.
The best elder sister ever. (Okay, that's a bit vague seeing as how you're the only older sister I have :P Haha!) I hope Allah would ease what is best for you. And that you be happy. And that you attained more than you've ever dreamed you would, in this life, and the hereafter. Uri eonni saranghae! ^^

 When we were younger, Hana has her baju kurung with proper sarong, and mine was with pants because since childhood, she has always been ladylike and grace never has been my forte. This time, maybe the parents thought I would behave better in sarong. Though I can't help but notice I have a kite in my hands.

 See, Hana so sopan and I'm always with the epic face. Hohoho.

Sopan sikit.

We were at Niagara Falls (a place I recommend everyone to visit!). 
When I think of it, if anyone has a somewhat "ganas" daughter, they should buy their daughters skirts and dresses at young age. It curbed the want to make silly poses a lil'. Haha!


Hana said I looked like Sivaji boss (?) and I think I'll watch Sivaji tonight cause I need to know why. Haha. 

-----

Everyone lives life at their own pace. There are things we can't afford to make priority but that doesn't make us wrong. :)

Okay Hana, jom terus berusaha dan berdoa! Fight oh~

-----

I so need a proper siblings pillowtalk. One week of holiday till I go all out with studying.

Hope the package arrives timely. :) 

figuratively flo

I got to know this girl when we were doing A Levels in KTT. 

:) 

We tend to have a lot to talk about. 

Which brought us to come up with a 10 000 spoken words quota per day. (not that we ever counted, but after spending a day together, we'd decide to limit the talking)

Here's a post to one of my intelligent conversationalist. 

I'm really really thankful that we're friends. 
Alhamdulillah (thank God). 


Saturday, December 29, 2012

on love and being grateful

There are things of this world that prevent us asking for more, however our hearts and minds think we should.

It is not easily fathomable, but sometimes, a mere existence can lead to triumphing the day.

Cause knowing some people bring me closer to God.

In ways I could never have imagined.
(Maybe it wouldn't work any other way because my mind and soul has been lead to believe they need more keys for them to be unlocked and opened. God knows.)

And for that, loving you is a privilege.

Summing it up, I want you to be happy.

As of now, I feel that is all I could ask for.

And for that, I'll be grateful, insyaAllah.

-----

Thank you Thamarai for hosting an Indian chicken beriyani dinner tonight :) It was fun learning to cook beriyani! And it is very sweet of you to get all the Halal ingredients and cook a delicious meal for us!

Hope to get the recipe soon, I'll share it on the blog. :) Cause it was really really nice!

Thanks Syamee and Yushah for walking me home. :D Very thoughtful of you both!

 Layering the "Dum Beriyani". Laden with wholesome goodness! ^^

After scooping and mixing. Jyeah~ 

Come finishing med school, this blog will be evidence. Of how I actually, do cook, contrary to a misguided belief of dear parents. 

-----

Thank you Kak Alia and Ustaz, for accompanying the trip to Vackov. It was a short, but memorable experience we had. If I wanna sign up for more, then I could ask for your help again, kan? ;) Kekeke


This break seems to result in more energy expenditure. Hehe. I don't recall a proper chillax-ing yet.
Tapi, masa lapang itu, pembunuh pemuda.
So, Alhamdulillah.
This break, part of me lives.

:)

Thursday, December 27, 2012

smile :)

Lets not complicate things.
Lets be happy.

Worrying kills.
And to be merciful is to be at peace.

Peace y'all~ :D

-----

Ohkay lets work on the life plan.

Every year we have this "Program Maju Diri" thing at home. And the funny thing is, every year, although Abah has prepared materials for us, he would end up talking about the same thing. Haha.

It was partly our fault, for not taking things seriously the years before. The thing we enjoyed most about the program was the food and camwhoring and rewards. It's funny how we would crack our brain trying to think up an answer to his questions. Semua nak menang. "Me! Me! I raised my hands first!!!!!" :P

This summer, maybe cause my brothers are smarter, we had some brainstorming done. On how to get as much reward (read: pahala) from God as possible. And we were told to think up the idea separately, no one could cheat anyway, we were given very little time. :O I was surprised at the outcome. Boleh tahan hebat adik-adik aku.

And a lil' token was kept in the form of videos. Hana couldn't make it to the program, she had a meeting or summat. And we were told to make some poem/dialogue/anything, that, if we tell Hana, would immediately trigger her to treat us Pappa Rich :P And the result came as a surprise too. Mama couldn't participate because hers was a sure win. Being a parent gives an edge when it comes to asking things from a working child. Kekeke.

This year, Kak Liyana joined us actually. And next year, if there's time, I assume we will have another one. After which I won't be able to participate because of work. :( That'll be the last pre-adult preparation I guess.

Anyway, I think I need to seriously act on the stuffs taught to us. Organizing has never been my forte but to be an adult, I have to do it. Aigoo~

Thank you parents, for making up the time we've lost with these programs. :) Hope to repay you in some way, someday. It'll never amount to the sacrifices you've made, but yeah, some way, someday.

-----

I've finally made a proper Pavlova! :D Thanks for the lesson Syamee!
Those interested, here's a link to a reliable recipe.

 Whipped meringue 

 After being baked in an oven pre-heated at 180 C, later switched to 150 C right before putting in the meringue. Bake for about 30 minutes then let cool. :) 

The shell was crunchy, and the inside, a marshmallow consistency. Woot2~ Serve with whipped cream, fruits and ice cream!!! :D

:) 

part two

"Just tell me how to stop it.
Stop what?
Seeing it. 
How do you stop seeing it?
There is so much pain and I don't know how to not notice it."

There are things you wish you never remembered.
I mean, they don't, but why must it be etched on my enchepalon?

I've been trying to get an answer for that.
For what seems like a long time.

You can't choose where you come from.
But you can choose where to go from there.
Atm, I just feel that I'm not fit to be vulnerable.

2:216
Allah knows what you do not know.

I'll know why when the time comes.
Lets not think too much about it, kay?
God is good.

-----

Anyway, here's the continuation from previous book review.

I wanted to write on love because it was highlighted so many times. Not just boy-girl relationship, but the parent-child, friend-friend etc.

Then I realised that, what I really wanted to talk about was mercy because what the characters portray was more than a simple I'm-attracted-to-you-kind-of-feel.

For mercy includes love, sacrifice, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness and generosity. Phew~ If we all have mercy, then maybe a lot of relationships could be saved, no?

The part that touches me most was when Dad comforted Hazel. "I'm sorry Gus died.......But it was sure a privilege to love him, huh?"  I (Hazel) nodded into his shirt. "Gives you an idea how I feel about you," he said.

It was an obvious statement that needed to be spelt out for her. Because she was so busy loving others that when they're gone, she doesn't realise that there are those, living, who loves her just as much.

It's still a wonder for me, the chemicals of how feelings work. It's not something you can tell your heart not to do. It's a privilege. And somehow, even a heartbreak would not revoke the privilege status.

That's that. Still, being merciful is of more importance, for love could only get you so far. How to be merciful? That, I shall have to read more before finding out. :P

-----

In all honesty, I miss home very much. :(
Then I think of how I have about 7 months minimally left to live in Prague, and I start missing Prague.

Thanks to a person who had helped me understand my complex self, discover wounds and directing my mind to find solutions instead. I never knew the road of discovery could be, besides rewarding, very nauseating. Haha.

Alhamdulillah for that small venture.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

side effects of dying

The Fault In Our Stars.

Is a book by John Green, on the life of ill (because you could be a cancer patient, and not be ill) cancer patients.

What interested me most was the term "side-effects-of-dying". And the truth it holds. That when you know that your time is limited in this world, you do things you'd never dream of doing in times of health.
That hardships, do age you, spiritually and emotionally.

The Holy Prophet has mentioned in a Hadith:
"Clever is the one who prepares for life after death

Sadly, most of us always, always think that we have all the time in this world, just because we're not diagnosed with a terminal disease. :( hai manusia lemah~ hai manusia lalai~ bodohlah!
We cease to function, cease to take an active, responsible part in our lives. :(

Gosh, I feel depressed reading that. Haha. Anyway, lets try taking that in a different approach.

By looking at things as "side-effects-of-hardships" instead of the "side-effects-of-dying" :)

Someone told me that, any form of hardships (health, money, losing a loved one, failing an exam, divorce etc) are actually tools to better our iman. *Then again, nothing could compete with death*

I don't know about you, but a pattern I seem to experience is that, if I'm taking the wrong approach, Allah will test me with the same tests, until, one fine day, usually after sincerely wanting to end/pass the test, He would make me see the obvious, and tada~ one challenge over and another test comes :)

Which I find really helpful for me because I'm so experimental in some things that I would not learn unless I experience them first hand. (Like how I learnt in primary school, after an attempt at main masak-masak, that kerosene, even in small amounts, can make a bonfire out of very little amount of dry leaves. Mama if you're reading this and you found out about this for the first time, marilah kita sama-sama panjatkan kesyukuran. :) )

Anyway, concluding the first part, death/hardships serve as a reminder, for us to return to Him, to ask for His guidance. For us to remember that, He made this world a wretched place so our hearts won't be tied to it. So our hearts will desire the Hereafter, with all its perfection and beauty. And that really, do work on the akhirah, for God knows it'll do you good.

And the next part will be posted later because I'm sleepy. Haha.

-----

Thanks friend for recommending the book. Besides the awkward scene, the book was a fine read. :)

And thanks to a circle of friends whom I owe a lot, for they care so much about me. Would it not be for you guys welcoming me, I may very well be in a rut, destroying my very existence. Thank you for acknowledging me for who I am, thank you for recognising the good in me, and help me work on my weaknesses.

Thank You, for saving me.

Note: If ever, you have a child who is similar in nature as I am, don't leave kerosene lying around the backyard. Nor let your child watch Home Alone 2 without explaining that really, the filming was done under strict control, and all those acts could result in serious injuries if performed inexpertly.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

hello holidays!!!

:D Christmas and New Year break is here!
Happy holidays~ Woot2~

So many things planned, hope they'll work out :D hee~
Whatever it is, marilah bersama-sama betulkan niat.
Then things won't go to waste :)

Oh, and the most important thing to do this break: plan your year, rejuvenate and cleanse your body and soul.
Because after this, it's studying and exams (it has always been) WITHOUT any breaks till summer. Kyaaa~ Seeing as how our seniors survived this challenge, then, insyaAllah we will too!

-----

I have a book review pending. And I think I need to sort out my reading materials. And probably my focus too. Because yesterday I was tested with knowledge, and I think I failed horribly. Yikes~

-----

Thanksies today goes to someone whom I didn't know existed before. :) May Allah bless, and thank you for the reminders! (in case I forgot, cause I might, the hint: rehat tunggu mati. kau ada?)

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

distanced

Perasaan tertanya-tanya ini.
Sebab aku jauh kan?
Jiwa, tolong.
Tolong jangan mati.

runnnn

"It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away"
TP

-----

You know sometimes, you tweet or write comments, and when said comments may trigger reader to run after you, so you add, *lari* or *runs away* at the end of your sentence?

Okay, so maybe you don't write such thing, but I do. :P

And one fine day, I commented on Syafiq's photo of Ijad smoking. :O So I asked the fundamental question, "bila nak berenti?" *lariiiiii*. (My sisters and I kinda have this smoking cessation obsession thing, but we are really concerned about your health cousins! :) That's why we'll keep asking, cause we believe you'll make it one day. Apis is making progress, having a child gives more reason to do it I guess).

Maybe Abang Syafiq realised it was meant for him jugak. And being a cop, he replied "kejarrr!!!"
Hahahahahahaha. *cue Gerak Khas soundtrack*
It was funny cause he's a policeman and I don't recall anyone wanting to run after people in comments before. :D :D :D
*Duh, berapa ramai je orang yang lari-lari dalam comments pun*

Apa motif tulis? Untuk membenarkan statement Sir TP.

-----

I wanted to write a book, to send a message, but I may have to develop observing skills and truly caring for others. That way, I won't send the wrong message. Eep~

-----

Thank You, to have met me with wonderful people in my life. :) It's truly a blessing to have large families (about 40 cousins on my father's side of the family and around 30 on mama's) because then, you sorta get the whole bell's curve of characters. From one extreme to the next. Which is an interesting thing, because we watch each other grow and eventually develop into distinct beings.

And because of that, when we meet up, we get to be children again, relax a little from our busy lives. :) Hee~

Baguslah dekat Malaysia kita tinggal berdekatan aje, kan? :)

*Yasmin put up an album of kisah dulu-dulu, how timely ;)*

Setelah penat bermain

Middle child syndrome. And then, there's Manje and Khalil.
Love,
Nora

Monday, December 17, 2012

aku, mereka dan karipap

So Medsoc (student body of my university) held an international food fair, and guess who decided to cook.
:) I opted to make karipap and in return, got three people to help me out. It still surprises me that it happened because jarang-jarang orang nak volunteer ni. Kekeke. *beware, dramatic post ahead*

Actors and actress.
Me.
One son of a karipap expert.
One who made karipap before.
And one who had many ideas about how to make a good dish. 

And I had to write this down, because honestly, I thought, after dealing with many people, I realised how little control I have, over my life. Overly uptight. >.< kyaaa~ I hope writing would help make me more aware of what I'm thinking, feeling and doing. 

The dough, the filling, the folding all went well. :) Well, the second dough was a lil' on the softer side, so it was quite a task to prepare that one :P but thank God, we made it somehow.

For the sake of health and the limited time we had, we decided to cook the karipaps in the oven. Then the catastrophe (at least that's how I see it) occurred. 
Somehow, they didn't brown as expected, and the filling inside got somewhat burnt. :O :O :O 
I was one batch too late to realise that the karipaps I made before were with sardine filling, not curry, so I hadn't any problem cooking them in the oven before. 
Honestly, I never ever thought of this possibility. THE HORROR! In other word, it was a failure. Presentation and taste-wise. And that stoned me for quite a while. 

Then, panic. Hahaha. Macam mana nak kasi orang makan karipap kalau tak sedap????? Dahlah karipap macam anaemic. T_T *sesungguhnya, I panicked to the point that there wasn't any photo of the karipap at all* 

I was in denial for a few minutes. Questioning my failure status. If this were an individual task, I may very well draw out from the food fair but that wasn't a valid option. 
I tried calming myself with the mantra "Aku nak jadi doktor, bukan tukang masak, so takpe kalau lacking pun". And you guys also tried to tell me it was okay. "Untuk standard budak medic, boleh lah". *in all honesty, that actually scared me more*  

Which eventually lead to us frying the karipaps in the end. 
I believe I was still lost that time, almost burnt the karipap, yet again. "Zizi! Think, think!

-----

Ohkay, so the drama ended and I'm much calmer now. Thank God. :) It was a rather weird but definitely building experience. Ejai told me, I have to tone down when it comes to accepting criticism. I realised this problem a long time ago. And yes, I could improve on my karipap. :) 
Bak kata Abah, "just because you had an accident, it doesn't mean you should stop cycling" when Luqman crushed his humeral condyles because of a bicycle ride. 
Yes, we could improve. 

-----

I know I thanked you people for participating already, but ini adalah a black ant on a black rock in the dark of the night:

Thanks Faliq, for the honest comments. Do share the fantabulous recipe you know with the rest of us! Nak rasa jugak karipap super sedap! :)
Thanks Wafy, for keeping calm through the storm and cleaning up after the mess, physically and psychologically. :D
And thank you both for taking over when I was "lost". ie daripada siap masak first batch dalam oven sampailah after the food fair ended. 
Thanks Syamira, for accompanying and helping out and proof photos. 
Thanks Beyo, for coming to help and the nasi impit kuah kacang.  
Thanks Ejai and As, for the space :P.
The karipaps may not have journeyed to the Hall without the myriad of help from you people.  
May Allah bless you people, and that when you need help, He'll ease it for you.

For the adventure,
Alhamdulillah.

-----

Owh and another update, :) Alhamdulillah, one more exam done, another 6 to go before ending school.
And a whole lot of self improvement to go with before I die. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

peter pan generation

An article on "adultescent". Click to read. :)
Chee Ching posted it on FB, and after reading it, I thought, this is so familiar. HAHAHA XD

Honestly, when I read her article, I realised that I'm reaching the adultescent pool soon. And it's scary because like her, I have ideas too, but the amount of work put on it? Nil. Or in fact, very little. :(

It is hard to believe that you have to be an adult. A stage which inevitably, we all have to survive. Someday, somehow. *there, even the way I say it seem to mean that I don't really think I will have to become one*

Tapi Abah and Mama cakap they'd move to Sarawak if need be, ie if I end up working there. :) Hee~ *cue flowers sprouting everywhere, an effect of atmosphere laden with happiness* So nice of them to accommodate us before we get a more stable grip on our career.

But yeah, have to figure out how many years to come before I start contributing and stop leeching (they won't mind if we NEED to get their help, just that, they've done so much for us. And we're not getting any younger).

Then, there are the other things too. Man, I really have to be an adult eyh.

Quoting Nanny Ogg or Mistress Weatherwax (I can't recall which witch exactly), "***? She always puts them for later, and then, later was too late".

It was a good read but I need to study now.

-----

Thanks for posting up the article Chingy!
Thank you parents for not questioning us yet. And for the support.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

hadir sudah

It snowed this evening and it's the type that doesn't melt~
Subhanallah ^^ kekeke.


I is uber happy right now :D
I'd be happier if it piles up MORE and doesn't melt tomorrow, because I'm going to put on the waterproof gloves.
And attack classmates and whomever I know. HAHAHA.
*biasanya kalau pasang niat macam ni, snow tu melt terus, tapi tidak mengapa, sebab hari-hari snow akan tiba lagi InsyaAllah ;)*

SNOW FIGHTS ARE FUN THOUGH! KYAAAA~~~

-----

Alhamdulillah for the experience.
And thank you friends who put up with the inner child when it comes to playing in the snow :D 

Friday, December 07, 2012

summing up

Sara said she could get the Speculoos.
:D :D :D :D :D

Thank God~

-----

Yesterday the light in my room got fixed. And now the room is brighter than ever! :D *harus lebih rajin*

And today the plumber ahjussis came. :) Alhamdulillah, the blockade has been fixed!

We questioned a few things today. And the conclusion was, insyaAllah my house won't be broken (literally) in future.

-----

What prevented an apt response was an exam.

Quoting Sir TP:
The phrase "someone ought to do something" was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used it never added "and that someone is me".

-----

And thanksies today to those helping me lighten my work. Semoga Allah rahmati usaha ini. Korang, fighting! ^^

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

for the love of food

Durian crepe.
Memang tak munasabah.
Gila (kalau aku buat jugak).
Makan "mewah" sangat, bahaya, kan?
Tak bagus untuk jiwa.
Walaubagaimanapun, aku dah bookmark page resipi dia. Click!
Tapi kat Malaysia jatuh "tak mewah" sebab dapat durian free dari dusun Atok.
Dan bila dah naik taraf pandai cari pangsa dan kupas durian tanpa cederakan telapak tangan, memang musim durian yang melanda tanah air, akan membuatkan nafsu memberontak.

Jika ditakdirkan juadah ini wujud dekat Bumi Czech ni, marilah kita salahkan Akiey dan Alia (Olo).

Aku patut kawal aktiviti melayari post-post berunsur makanan.
Goyah.

Tak mewah kat sini. Kalau buat egg tart. Atau chicken chop.
Woo hoo~ Marilah makan sedap sambil berjimat you olls~

Gila doyan, bukan meroyan,
Cucu Jejaka Macho

Monday, December 03, 2012

johnny and the dead

Is a book by Sir TP. I didn't read the book though. I watched the telemovie. (ie movies shown on television, not the cinema). The cinematography wasn't good (it was filmed in the early 90s) but I guess when you have a good storyline, it doesn't matter. Owh budak kecik yang jadi Johnny tu nampak macam Joseph Gordon Levitt. Tetiba tulisan jadi kecil. Hahaha. Mengong. 

I haven't much time to write the summary, I guess anyone interested could Google "Johnny and The Dead" up. 

What I learnt from the movies was, sometimes, you do things, because you're the only one who could. And though you have set plans and goals, it's most likely that things won't exactly turn out the way you plan it to be. That people might come to you for help, only later, realising that they don't actually need it. 

Which might make you feel a little low. Cause you start questioning all the things you've done. Which of course, in actual fact, did not go to waste. Because it's through hardships that you learn about your value, principle and belief. And by working for what you believe in, you sharpen your skills a little. Your character gets more refined. That really, there's no harm in striving for what's right. 

And like always, Sir TP's view on the system was highlighted in a subtle yet thought invoking manner. 
If I watched this in primary school, I would have talked about the living dead. "I'm not a ghost, I'm just dead. And I don't believe in those stupid metaphysical rubbish."
If I watched this is high school or college, I would have talked about his word puns. "Owh Albert Einstein? He's a distant cousin. Relatively speaking, of course." Hahaha. 

And now I came to realised that most of his books goes along the line that, you are one person, but one good, honest person, can make a difference in this wretched world.

And because I read so many of his books, I came to the conclusion that, that one person, exists in many forms. A good cop. An honest banker. A dedicated parent. A good healer. :) It could be me. It could be you. So go on, get out of your comfort zone a little, and lets do our part, into making today, a past we won't regret.

-----

Thank you Allah, for making me an avid reader. Thank you Florence for introducing me to this awesome author. I remember you lending me the first book, believing that I have "good command" in English. And Sarah for being a partner in becoming Sir TP's fan. I've been getting his books on hardcover lately. Can't stop myself XD 

And a question that bugs me,
To Kindle, or not to Kindle?

-----

My entries seem to get longer these days. To not burden the page with too many words, lets have a food photo spam. Jyeah!!!


Beef Pie, inspired by Sorted on Youtube.


Beef pie when cut. Failed to laden the pie stuffing with gravy though XD Have to try it again someday. Cause I promised someone to. :) Now that I think of it, I've never cooked for you and your friends before! Aiyark~


Korean Pancake with seafood. Sebab kempunan di suatu petang yang ditemani hujan dan sejuk. And next attempt would be with chives. I bought a pot of fresh chives for that. Sebab chives yang lain tu dari Israel, and lagi mahal pun. :P


Dinner :D It was a Facebook trigger, cause some juniors made spicy rice cake, but since I had that when Kirin came the last time, makanya, I decided to make rice cake soup! With lotsa beef. Aku suka betul makan daging, takpe aku anaemic.


This is what happen when you separate the egg yolk and white, then fry them and cut them into strips. Did you know, preparing Korean food is actually a tedious job? Tapi sedaplah. 


Ta da~ Throwing the egg strips. Om nom nom~

Ohkay then. Bagi yang tetiba lapar, selamat memasak! :D Heee~~~

Sunday, December 02, 2012

keperluan asas

A video on diffusion of responsibility/bystander effect/Genovese syndrome, has gone viral.
If you haven't watch it already, do click here. :) Tengoklah, you know you want to. 

Pertaining to the study given, through the story of Kitty Genovese, I was brought to remember a rather more disappointing version of the story. 

Kisah bermula... 

There're times when you simply had to go back a lil' later in the night. Be it committee meetings, study groups etc. And in my early days as a student here, I came to meet that night. So I asked for friends help to send me home. I thought logically, budak-budak lelaki sedarlah kepentingan sejagat tu. Itu pasal dengan selambanya I asked for help. For I remembered last time, Abah and Uncle Rashid (Abah's colleague 1) had to hantar Auntie Noran (Abah's colleague 2) back home because a meeting ended late and Uncle F-something (Auntie Noran's husband) cannot pick her up. 
Anyway, after some persuasion, on the way back, I was thanking my friends, when one of them said something I can't quite forget until now. 
"Aku bukannya nak hantar pun, tapi kalau aku tak hantar nanti orang marah" 
*drama queen 1: berhenti tengah jalan dengan riak wajah skeptikal* Adoi. Seriously, a certain level of trust dropped down dramatically that time. I mean, korang seriously tak sedar kebesaran amal menghantar orang-yang-mungkin-akan-hadapi-bahaya-dalam-perjalanan? (Silalah terasa kaw-kaw punya sampai lepas ni korang nak jadi Superhero, memastikan tak de orang teraniaya, tak kisahlah sebab tersepit dekat pintu bas ke, sebab tertinggal phone ke [rujuk video] atau sebab-sebab lain yang menggugat status kemanusian mana-mana manusia [atau alam, really])

Sadly after that, I quit requesting to be sent back. In fact I remembered running so that they couldn't catch up. *drama queen 2: lari turun tangga laju-laju* Why do something when it's as if, you're cursing that person for being a liability? 
Ok lah, I shouldn't have ran, maybe you guys repented after that, huh? 
Tapi seriously, blurting out the kind of sentences that make it seems like perempuan itu burden adalah so not cool. Which basically makes anyone a jerk in our eyes. 

Lepas kejadian tersebut juga, meeting CzeMSA pun aku tak sanggup nak minta tolong budak lelaki dah, sebab aku rasa, kalau korang ni betul fahamlah, korang tak perlu ditanya pun. (Sekarang aku sedar, aku sepatutnya tanya je) Mungkin aku sangat alergik dengan kata-kata berbaur "perempuan menyusahkan". Aiyark~ Adik-adik aku pun lagi bertanggungjawab, jaga kitorang bila main basikal, badminton, basket, pergi shopping, park kereta etc. Dan mereka ada kesedaran ni awal sekolah menengah lagi. Serius korang tak pernah diamanahkan untuk menjadi bodyguard nenek/mak/kakak/adik perempuan korang sendiri? *kalau tak pernah, silakanlah, sebelum korang sampai kepada satu waktu yang korang tak dapat nak jaga bini/anak perempuan sendiri. kalau pernah, Y U no use same concept?*

HOWEVER, HIDUP DI PRAGUE NI TAKDELAH GERSANG ALL THE TIME. ADA JE ORANG YANG SANGAT-SANGAT BERKESEDARAN TINGGI DALAM HAL-HAL EHWAL KEMANUSIAAN MACAM NI. 
Kudos to D, H, S, B. (Ha apa lagi, tekalah initials ni! :P)

Coming back to the introduction, why I thought this story is disappointing, because, I too was affected by the diffusion of responsibility. Just because it's something that no one stresses on, I too, acted by not stressing its importance, which, thank God, has not cause any harm in the time when I assume it was a very light matter. :( Apelah :( Kalau it's for the greater good, kenapa tidak? :(



-----

Alhamdulillah, it is A LITTLE irrelevant now that KFC has come out with a "Skuad Peneman". 
To those who don't already know, KFC stands for Keluarga-Fan-Club (a substitute to the term "usrah" yang kebanyakan ahli KFC agak alergik). KFC terdiri daripada Kak Alia, Syamira, Anis, Ejai, Pia and me. And seeing as how it gets darker, earlier right now, because it's winter and we're living in the Northern Hemisphere, we now have a "Skuad Peneman" (Accompanying Squad) so that non of our members will have to dwell the roads of Prague alone when it gets dark. (Y) 

Secara peribadi, aku sangat suka konsep ni, dan memandangkan semua orang pun ada circle of friends tersendiri, skuad ni, bolehlah ditubuhkan mengikut keperluan masing-masing. 
*baca ayat lepas ni dengan mood AGM*
Kerana melihatkan kepada statistik, memandangkan bilangan pelajar lelaki yang dihantar semakin berkurang, dan mungkin keperluan sejagat ini akan memakan masa dan tenaga mereka, ini akhirnya tidak lain tidak bukan, menzalimi mereka (quote: usul pembubaran CzeMSA. kekeke).

Don't get me wrong, we still need good guys (aku rasa budak Prague ni baik je, cuma kurang matang/berpengalaman). Ini cuma tindakan kami untuk mengurangkan kemudharatan. We still need good guys, for there're many circumstances that is out of our control. Because, number one, being women, generally, our awareness of surrounding is lesser. And two, we are no match to the strength God has blessed you all with. (There're more, but, you get the picture). 
  
-----


The brothers :D Walaupun most of the time korang annoying, tapi terharu I dengan kematangan korang. Hahaha.

So thanksies today goes out to KFC atas kerjasama untuk misi-misi skuad peneman yang telah berjaya diadakan. Semoga Allah berkati usaha ini dan kita semua sentiasa berada dalam perlindunganNya. 

And also initials-initials yang terpampang di atas. Reason paling best aku pernah dengar bila aku tengah skeptik asal-korang-nak-hantar-balik adalah"Aku pun ada kakak dowh" 
Terima kasih korang, for working on that kesedaran, semoga Allah melindungi korang dan saudara-saudara perempuan korang. 

Friday, November 30, 2012

what I meant

Dalam fb ni bila kita unfriend,block,restricted dgn seseorg itu bukan bermakna kita mahu memutuskan silaturahim dgn org itu... Selalunya ia lebih kepada perasaan "saya rasa saya tidak selesa berkongsi cerita saya dgn kamu"...tu jer.. Jgn sesekali fikir "owh kau berdosa dan akan masuk neraka sebab kau memutuskan tali silaturahim antara kita..." helloooo.. benda simple mcm ni kalau tak faham sile tikam diri sendiri.

Chik Lin just shared this on FB. 
I meant just that, nothing more. 
Peace yo! 
*ok check FB sendiri*

Kata Lily Allen, can't knock em out. Versi memberi alasan, the politest way. 
Somehow this night ended up as Lily Allen night. 

-----

Thanksies untuk people who help me deal with situations. I won't have the heart to do it alone. 
I think too much. XD 

Okay, happy Friday. 
Nak dengar lagu Friday Night yang jauh lebih baik daripada lagu Friday and Last Friday Night tak? 

Ni ha. Click sini. Ni pun Lily Allen jugak. 

Nasihatnya, jagalah diri sendiri.  

-----

Thank You Allah sebab permudahkan urusan dalam exam semalam. :) And thanks for the prayers everybody. 7 exams and a lot of self-improvement to go before I get the trust to knife people. *Eeep~*

Owh and after the exam yesterday, Syamee, Thamarai and I spent sometime at Mama Cafe. Near Lazarska, opposite Hooters to be exact. (sape geng Ezra tahu sangatlah dekat mana) Mama Cafe tu hipster habis. Contemporary, organised mess, welcoming kavarna.
Anyway, it was a nice post-exam hang out :)

Trouble is, class is at 8 today. And post exam, if I don't have enough sleep, I'll be in a disoriented state.
I woke up on time, and went out confidently, because, today, I have the chance to be early for class. I waited for the tram, and 18 came. I went on, smiling, because it's rare that 18 comes when I need it to. I stopped at Moran, and and, I figured out how moronic I was. 18 is the tram to take to go to Faustuv Dum, for the class which I had exam for, the day before. ie I got on the wrong tram, the wrong stop!!! Kyaaaa~

I should have realised, because 18, that particular tram, frequently appears at times when I don't need it to. Haha!

So I went running to the opposite tram stop, catching tram 10 that was heading to Stepanska (the stop I was supposed to go to) all the while muttering "aaaahhh, stupid, stupid, stupid" hahaha. And it rained a little today, so everything was wet and slippery. And NO, I didn't fall or anything, just skidded on the tram steps. :P It didn't matter, because I successfully got on the right tram!
In the end, I was 2 minutes late, but I got to grab coffee before class. Hee~

Usually, such things would only occur once a day but the drama didn't stop there. What happened when I head back home today was, I banged into a tree branch at Karlovo Namesti park. Like I said, it's a rainy day, so, understandably, I was focusing to avoid the muddy grounds and whatever excrements that might have mixed and become one with the landscape, tapi, tapi, focusing on two things whilst walking is just too much back then. Haha.
And that's how I complete today.

Sekian, laporan cemerkap,
:D

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

supply

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Allah is the guardian of those who believe. He brings them out of the darkness into the light; and (as to) those who disbelieve, their guardians are Shaitans who take them out of the light into the darkness; they are the inmates of fire, in it they shall abide.

Al Baqarah; 257

-----

If you've been give something really good, naturally, you would go back and get more of it. Kan?
And when it is about to finish, you would want to ask around, so that you don't run out of supply.

Unnecessary things keep creeping up in my mind lately. The more I let it linger, the more I feel I might burst because of it. Shoo~ Go away stupid thoughts!

TAPI KAN, God had helped me the last time by an advice that goes by returning to Him. And it made me so calm and happy and relieved. *insert mata anime bersinar-sinar* And that the best part of being a slave is that, there are things you can't control and it's okay, leave it to Him. *cue the song Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift*

Okay, supply yang dimaksudkan adalah untuk ada masa bawa jiwa aku mengingati balik status hamba tersebut. Sebab aku rasa selamat daripada Dunya time-time camtu. Dan perasaan itu *cue running around and bouncing in cotton candy* boleh digambarkan, dengan perkataan, RINGAN. Like the weight is off your shoulder. It's not that you shake off your responsibility, but like, you can bear them this time around. Hee~ Faham tak? Ahahaha.. Tak perlu faham pun, asalkan aku faham, supaya senang nak cari balik benda ni bila kegersangan melanda diri ini lagi.

Maybe it's because I'm choleric, that messages such as toning down gets to me. Haha.
What about you? If there was one reminder from God that touches you most, what will it be?

-----

Speaking of good supply, my Speculoos is running out. Again! Haha! Siapa nak pergi France? Put your hands upppp~ *sebab good things, you just have to hunt for them again and again* And shipping sepuluh kali ganda harga Speculoos. What???


Thanksies goes to Eza and Samantha, whom I spent a great time with during the last summer break :) We got introduced to Speculoos and had the spread with French bread, bread bread, and hard boiled eggs. Seriously, if you don't have Speculoos, you should try peanut butter and hard boiled eggs. Sedap~ ^^ Sam found 3 suppliers in OZ. Congratulations!!! I have yet to find one here. *padahal Czech and France jauh lebih dekat* Thanks for turning me into a convert. Ha! Speculoos FTW!!!

Thanks also to a junior who had helped me get Speculoos once. Thanks for bearing the berat of the glass jar. It has served as good breakfast supply for a few days really! :D Failed to turned you into a Speculoos convert though, then maybe I could order in bulk by mail. Haha.

Ze Speculoos converts
Nora, Eza, Sam :)

hampir-hampir

Usually, if I'm grumpy, it's most likely because I'm hungry.
So kalau I appear grumpy, sudilah kiranya memberi makanan.
Hee~

A post selepas accidental post. Kyaaa~

Buat Ejai dan Syamira, you guys owe me ice cream! :D
Jom jalan-jalan lepas exam! ^^

-----

Terima kasih Tuhan sebab perkenalkan hambaMu ini dengan dua gadis istimewa, Izati dan Syamira. Tak boleh puji lebih-lebih, so post terima kasih jadi pendek. Kekeke.
Malam ini, mereka peneman membuat keputusan.
Dan keputusannya adalah, marilah tumpukan perhatian kepada yang baik-baik aja. ;)

Less than 3
<3 p="p">Zizi

Sunday, November 25, 2012

:')

This week has been tiring.
It would have been more tiring if unexpected help wouldn't come.
Thank you Allah.
Please don't stop guiding me cause depending on You gives so much comfort. :')

Immediate reminders binds our heart from wandering too far.

-----

Like a feather blown by the wind, iman fluctuates.
And because it's in its nature, we needn't be sad about it.
:)

-----

And here's the space for things I wanna talk about but haven't the heart to yet.

Until then,
Good noc!

izinkan saya


Atas sebab-sebab merasakan what I wrote was inappropriate, makanya parts of this post has been rewritten. Haha!

Ok, agak melucukan untuk ambil gambar jari berdarah. Patut cari something to compress then plasterkan aje. Tapi tapi.. I got so excited (what???) sebab darah tu cam tak henti-henti mengalir. Hahaha. Must have been an artery. Boleh tahan sakit. Hahaha.
And somehow, this reminded me of a statement Syamira made about me. Regarding semangat-cheer-dan-vocal-cord-accidents. Yang agak tak boleh bla, but I have to admit anyway. :P

-----
Karipap terima kasih.

Kerana anda semua telah banyak membantu membentuk hamba Allah ini.

Alhamdulillah for the experience.
May Allah bless you people, and may He grant us all Paradise.

-----

UK
And this project I've suggested, if in Your Knowledge, is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. Amin.
Bismillah.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

hanziko

Is the name of the little boy I got attached to when we were at the Detske Centrum (read: orphanage). I don't remember the reason he was abandoned, but in a few months time he may have to be a permanent resident there. Walaupun tak sampai half an hour, I hope I did some part untuk Hanziko. He is a happy child though, may Allah bless those children. Learning their family history, the orphanage is perhaps a better place for them to grow.

*POZOR this is a long post, with long sentences, that requires a lil' more concentration*

Geng Detske Centrum. No photos of children sebab cannot take photos there. 

Owh, and the funny thing about visiting children is that, regardless of nationality, gender (kecuali Encik R, yang awkward habis, tengok baby macam tengok alien. haha, hilang macho!), age, EVERYONE baby talks. HAHAHA. Baby talk yang kalau takde baby kat kawasan tu memang nak kena makan penampar lah. And the children were so happy greeting and playing around :) Yang menangis pun prolly sebab lapar/sakit, so memang boleh maafkanlah.

Anyway, it's on this field trip that I thought a lot about the truth behind JKR's newest book. Because this Detske Centrum, apart from taking care of unwanted children, also plays a part in helping recovering mothers. i.e. Those who WANT to care for their child but CANNOT. e.g. mothers who are attending Meth clinics (or other detox program), mothers who need help caring for a child be it because they are sick or because they don't know how to.

And the sad thing we learnt about the place is that, it will be gone in 2 years time. Sebab ada perintah to do so. Honestly aku rasa orang Czech ni hebat-hebat belaka, but money blinds those in power. (Dah ada power, nak pau duit lagi. Kejam siot.) Tuhan, jauhkanlah diri ini daripada menjadi hamba dunia. Erti hidup pada memberi. Hope the money and power we get will go there, towards a life driven to help those in need.
(Lately, whatever I write or say will be tested against me immediately, and yes, this blog is first and foremost a reminder to my own self, yang memanglah banyak flaws that needs to be replaced with good things, before I die).

Closure of institutions such as this will cause more devastating and depressing repetition of history of Krystal's family, eyh? (SPOILER ALERT!!! For those who didn't read The Casual Vacancy: It's about the lives of people in a small town, whom were facing the death of a member of the town representatives, who cared a lot about the underprivileged. In his absence, the fight between two parties (those who preferred their life "untainted" by the problems of the lower socioeconomic class, and those who were for inclusion of the underprivileged in their care) happened. And since everybody was busy fighting, there was no one to actually tackle the problem at hand, which results in the death of Krystal and her brother, whose mother is a drug addict.)

Somehow you need to truly care so that when you're in power, you do not leave what you fight for behind. People who were fighting for the seat didn't even care for their own family and in the end, their own children brought them down. Nauzubillah.

Honestly, I thank God for letting me see things more clearly, in a new light. Thanks for guiding me into making the decisions I made and then to not make those decisions go to waste.

I don't recommend reading the book cause it might ruin your day, mind and heart if you don't go beyond first thoughts, but if you are the kind of reader who can read with second and third thoughts* (explanation below), maybe you should. It's a harsh reality we live in. Our generation may treat what's happening as taboo, which shouldn't be the case because seeing as how it's happening in this moment we're living in, we need to somehow address these matters. Huhu~ berat tu~



I may end up having more storybooks than medical books. Fair enough, they're way thinner. 

*Terry Pratchett, from A Hat Full of Sky:
First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. 
Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. 
Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome.

Ok, what next Nora?

-----


Oh ho, almost forgot, thanksies today goes out to CzeMSA Praha :D Woot2~
We had IGames last weekend, and Futsal team got Gold and Bronze! Hee~ Alhamdulillah ^^. Thanks to the team: Syifa, Qilah, Syamira, Anis, Dania, Ummu, Pia, Fasya, Dayah, Nina, Asiah, Mia, Michelle, Alin, Aiza *hope I didn't miss out on anyone* For the participation, the hours of practise in the cold, air, makanan, menenangkan hati, bagi pointers etc. Thanks Kak Syifa, for the tendangan emas yang membawa kitorang ke finals. Our coach, Pek "skill yang korang belajar ni, bukan untuk games aje, boleh guna lagi next time nak main futsal". Joshua "2 things you need to know to have a  good game. Firstly, menang kalah tu biasa. Secondly, pass the ball." Tau tak, it's so nice to play a game with korang semua!!! Cause we all pass the ball. And we didn't have to think about the result, yang penting main sungguh-sungguh macam dalam practice. Hehe. Dulu beriya-iya complain sebab kena tengok orang time main, tak boleh tendang aje. Rupanya ada sebab tertentu. Kekeke. And terima kasih sebab tak buat lagak ngeri sampai cedera etc. Terima kasih elak bola yang boleh membawa maut kalau kena kepala.Terima kasih sebab cakap "good game, lets try better in the next half". :) It was a meaningful final IGames for me.

To our supporters! :D Korang dae bak!!! Mengkobarkan semangat kitorang untuk pecut kejar bola di saat-saat kitorang dah mengah dekat court yang gedabak tu. Terima kasih sebab memahami yang kitorang tak boleh nak score time game. Kyaa~ Banyak sangat moments sikit-lagi-je-nak-masuk-goal. Kekeke.
Owh, special shoutout dekat adik-adik KTT Olomouc kot, made me smile during the game "Hey, itu akak KTT kan? Akak KTT! Akak KTT!" Cancel I nak control macho time main. HAHAHA.

To all the participants! Korang, tacing habis I sebab ramai betul participate and support this year! :D Walaupun kita dapat second, tapi teamwork tu terasa kembali~ Hee~ Hope the semangat lives on in the coming years! CzeMSA Praha memang terbaiklah, no doubt ;)

Love,
Zizi :D

Friday, November 16, 2012

handy girl

Ever heard of the song, Frank D Fixer?
If not, here you go.


This particular song serves a valuable reminder for me to not give up.
It goes something like "chill lah, we make mistakes, tapi it's not the end of the world, there's a way to make things better"

Nak cakap pasal my failed attempt actually.
Of fixing my shoes. Cobbler semua reject, they said "neudelam". (ie. "Aku tak baiki yang camni" -hebat kan vocab Czech, satu perkataan dah memadai)
So I bought a black thread and tried to sew my shoes.
Berjayalah tutup, tapi, sah boleh mengakibatkan herniation kalau jahit macam tu dekat pesakit.
What can I do, I've never sew canvas/plastic before T_T
I had a trial of the suture today with futsal practice. And it didn't work out that well. No herniation, but the sewing came undone. Sedih dan frust, cause it's so comfy to play with those shoes.


 Tsk tsk. Man, tak pernah rosakkan kasut camni. Tulah, budak, bila dah high main, bajet Shaolin Soccer habis. 

So just recently, I sew back the tear and made reinforcement. Woo hoo~ Harapnya it'll turn out well. Haven't tested it yet. Doakan it'll serve me good at the court Saturday and Sunday iA.



I'm not sure of the practicality of this attempt. Eep~ So, whose shoes need fixing?
-----

And my thanksies shout out today goes to Mama and Mak. :)
Finally, I made sambal ikan bilis kering yang dae bak!
Got ikan bilis, tempe, potato, peanut. Hee~

Enough food for a week~ :D (tapi dah habis)

When I made it, I really thought of giving up "menyambal" because of the hard work untuk potong nipis-nipis, goreng satu-satu, tunggu kering etc. Dah lah asyik rasa potato tu tak cukup je setiap kali dah goreng satu round. Aigoo~ Simple sebenarnya, tapi tak reti-reti nak bersabar dan buat dengan penuh kasih sayang.

And those hard work, korang tak pernah complain pun when I request them every week when I was at KTT. Semoga Allah berkati jasa para ibu yang melayan kerenah (perut especially) ananda-ananda, tanpa jemu.

Should have brought more ikan bilis back.

Handy girl today,
Nora

-----

Y U NO talk bout the war?
All I can say is that, wars should be criminalised.

And seeing those deaths, I often wonder, if I were in the war zone, and I died, would I die for Allah, or would I die for other things?
I need to sort out my priorities.

Honestly, aku tatau doa apa paling sesuai time-time camni. Sebab Tuhan planner teragung.
Istikhara. Okay? *rhetoric*

Thursday, November 15, 2012

rash

Coming to decisions and conclusions too fast.
If God had not intervene, I may have done more harm than good tonight.
Thank you Allah.

Please lead me in the right path, please ordain what is good for me.
I seek guidance in virtue of Your Knowledge.
I seek ability in virtue of Your Power.
You have power, I have none, and You Know, I know not.

-----

Some revelations actually threw me into a state of tremor today. Scary weyh. I shall skip the details and write down what I got, a headache and minimal crying later.

Among the lessons learnt today, knowledge should be free. Don't burden someone who sincerely wants to learn. (sekarang baru faham why Abah wanted to put up his projects for free)

And another thing, if a door closes, it's prolly cause what's in store behind that door will cause you more regrets.

God is good. Don't ever think He's making it hard on you. Think of the things you could do, now that it has been removed from your mission statement.

Ironically, it was a good mistake.

Monday, November 12, 2012

and, and, and

Salam. Pelikkan tajuk. *tak pelik, cause it's my blog* haha!

-----

In The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time, Christopher used lotsa "and".

And I think I got infected by this repeated usage.
And it's not a bad thing either.

-----

We're having Public Health round right now. :)
And I enjoyed today's lecture. About the healthcare system.
Primary care seems interesting.
Cause the setting is where you learn about people, and their lifestyles.
And the importance of investing in emotional accounts. How love and care goes a long way.

-----

And for some reasons, I would like to thank a few people.
Dear parents, thank you for everything. And I'm sorry to have overlooked the many beautiful things you taught us children in this life.
Dearest Hana, thanks for always calming me. I hope to be there for you as how you've never failed to be there for me. We became adults a lil' too soon, kan? *cries* I honestly miss you sis.

Yang lain-lain will have to wait. Emotions have decided to well up.

Nora

Thursday, November 08, 2012

ambiguous

So, when I said vulnerable, I didn't mean it in a physical sense. 

Almost became a pirate yesterday.
Sebab kena smash with shuttlecock straight on my eyes. 
The lid of one eye got retracted and gives this bulu-mata-lebih-lentik-daripada-biasa effect. 

The pressure pain was bearable tapi the funny part was when everyone went like "okay ke? okay or not? you need me to get cold water?" and I went, "I'm okay" sambil air mata bercucuran. Reason enough, it hit my eye, memanglah my eyes became watery. Ahahaha. Serious bukan sebab sakit. :P Kesian kat korang kan, risau tak menentu. 

Then the real pain, bila I got smashed by a racquet on the forehead. GILE KENTANG. 
Tau tak, kalau something retak, then you can see the cracks, time tu, at the back of my mind, that was what I visualised. HAHAHA.
I ended up with a bump on my forehead. It's childhood memories all over again. *cue visions of monkey bars and what nots*
Well, that didn't hurt afterwards. Hee~ 

^^ tapi benjol dah surut sekarang~ thank God~ and the eyelid has gone back to it's original anatomical position. 

Ok, next time, marilah lebih berhati-hati. Yosh~ 

-----

There're things you feel that you can't stop but you can control it. 
Don't worry. It won't hurt. 

-----

Err, random fact: orang Czech are good at winking. >.^ 

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

until then

You can't love anything.
Till you can love yourself.
Well, hope I'm doing it right.

-----


Monday, November 05, 2012

not so random

Simple moments.

What draws a smile on your face today?
For me, it was some Czech boys.
Little ones, 5-8 years old.

They were playing soccer and wanted to ask me to join them.
I said no, go on and play. I'm waiting for my friends.
And one of them said something which I don't quite get.
So I told them, I don't speak fluent Czech, and I don't understand Czech well.

And the 8 year old who dribbled-paling-bergaya-sekali raised his hand and said, with really bright expression, 'Well, I can speak Ukranian'.

I could only smile at his attempt. :)
Nemluvi Anglicky.

I've always loved being around children.
They're carefree, innocent and big hearted.
They don't judge.

Somehow, it makes you carefree, innocent, big hearted, non judgemental as well.
(Err... this leads to some parents and relatives going "yang kau main dengan budak-budak tu apesal" or "main mengalahkan budak-budak" when I decided to spend my time running around)

Hope to go to the children centre for our class trip next week.
It's a foster home, if I remember correctly.

-----

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me.
Then I think if I'm wasting my time thinking of you.
But then again.
You are not a waste of time.

-----

Attempting being vulnerable.

-----

Thank you Allah

Sunday, November 04, 2012

rebel

Niat menulis pagi ni sebab teringat pesanan Abah.
It was after a day of cycling.
I almost passed out bila naik bukit yang mana entah. Usually Yasmin is the one to make all the dramas (throwing up etc) tapi memandangkan semua orang in the family is dramatic, that one day happened to be mine.

I woke up late that day, minum separuh cawan milo (too hot to finish it) then head out cycling with the rest.
Baru masuk hutan tu, but I felt weak already. My legs doesn't seem to want to cycle as usual. Muscular fatigue kot.

And after beberapa bukit kecil, we made it to the big one, which I had no problem with before, but that day, balancing on the bike didn't work so well so I had to stop halfway and push the bike to the peak. (And tell you what, pushing your bike uphill is waaaaaaaaaaay more tiring than riding it!)

Gasping, Abah asked why, and gave a lecture which I couldn't quite remember because I was quite pre-syncopal that time. And in the midst of his talk, I just lied down and use the bike as leg rest.
And there was a photo of that.
Abah sent it to Yasmin cause she wasn't around, and that would make a good joke of the day for her. Haha. Serves me right for always belittling her throwing up ages ago. (You can't help but do that with siblings. It's only natural!)

Anyway, the rebellion part came because Abah told me to eat telur separuh masak before I go cycling, so my legs won't feel tired. And to drink enough, so I won't be dehydrated too fast.
I don't like soft boiled eggs :'( For reasons I couldn't quite remember. Must be the texture. So rebel part one came because I ate hard boiled egg instead. Haha. Abah went "pfft!" tapi menerima aje. And I didn't drink as much as instructed. (I slept early, so memang tak teringat, and to drink so much in the morning would result in uncomfortable ride). I grabbed Livita though. Saje je.
And the best thing the next day was, I got to ride Mama's bike. Muahahaha. Ringan, laju, sedap je nak drift-drift, plus mineral oil. In fact Abah offered his bike (quote Mama "huish, ambillah peluang ni, Mama pun tak pernah dapat offer macam tu") but knowing my cemerkap self, I'd rather not face the lecture that may come with damaging any parts of his bike.
(The trick is, if you admit before your parents come to know of it, usually they would be more accommodating  Trust me. I was once a professional in property damage.)

And the reason I'm writing this is because, today I have futsal practice. And I just ate telur separuh masak. Whylah we all nak jadi anak baik bila berjauhan daripada keluarga. And not when they want us to?
Haha. Jawapannya, saje, sebab duduk dekat rumah, boleh bermanja dan hidup kurang berdikari. HAHA. Jawapan ni selalu lepas piawaian dekat rumah. Sebab penuh kebenaran dan kejujuran. Terima kasih ibubapa~

Ok, rindu sebenarnya.

Anak solehah di perantauan,
Nora

Nak upload gambar, tapi apesal muka aku semuanya epic. Nah, amek gambar telur separuh masak ni. Ada terliur? Ada geli?


So many grammatical error. Gah. -.-;;;

Saturday, November 03, 2012

noooooob

Did you know about OneNote?
Rupa-rupanya it's a very awesome Office application.
And I've never explored it before yesterday. :O
Tetapi semalam adalah hari yang busy.
So, lets get adjusted to OneNote today and cut down the amount of journals I would have to incinerate.

Windows Office FTW!!!
*marilah kita berusaha menggunakan whatever resources we have. or else.*

Thursday, November 01, 2012

boo hoo

Literature of thoughts.

If doubt comes
Write
It's too messy up there
To reason

If emotions overwhelm
Write
It's too dark here
To decipher

If thoughts run wild
Fit them in a page
Now your literature of thoughts
Won't be to waste

-----

I act on impulse, so there're many circumstances by which I wish I could reverse. Life doesn't work that way though.

Experimenting with oneself, I find writing a wonderful tool to curb my impulse a level or two. 5 minutes of writing could do wonders in justifying a decision made or revoked.

I used to do the thinking in my head but my short attention span would lead to abandonment of whatever I was attending to in my encephalon. A pity cause it disallows idea to evolve :(

I'm still adjusting to the whole think-write thing. I hope it turns me into a better person. A more faithful slave of God, less confused, much calmer.

-----

Then, there's a question of what will become of those journals when I die.
(self destruct?)
Well, lets try to redevelop and restructure the whole thinking with focus in my brain first.

Still addled,
The Brain

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

neon jeongmal ukkyo

Too straight, too high.
Sanggwaneobso.
Nan naega joha.

:)

-----

Dallado dwae.
Michyeodo dwae.
Nan naega joha.

:)

-----

Naega wonhaneun nawa.
Nan neomu dalla.


Mwol bwa? 

Never stop from being who you are. 
The world's standard is too high/too straight. 
You're fine, really. 

-----

On a different note,
Can't wait for a new album to arrive. ^^,
It's by one of the three musicians whom I adore: my bestie, Jason Mraz, Epik High. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

pathological

In an attempt to escape a life I've lived, I grew more confused.

The most precious advise from a friend by far was, to return to Allah.

So it's good to know that really, eventually, if you do things with the right intention, then good things will come out of it. Be it in a week, a month, a year, longer.
Worrying halts. Blaming halts.

The pathological reaction isn't so malignant right now anyway, so lets hope for the best :)
And even if you can't break through, it's not a problem, it's just the way you are.

Besides, God gave you friends and family who knew and did not judge nor leave you behind. It's not a lonesome journey after all.

Baiklah.
To yet another start, Bismillah.

-----

Yesterday I felt like the whole world was against me. When in fact, it was only 4 out of the world population. Bergurau ada tahapnya. You needn't be so harsh. Try walking in my shoes, and try to laugh it off. It's doable, but never easy. Especially when I'm freaking tired like yesterday. :'( Meanie.


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

fwp


Is mainly ego.
The sense that you can't be hurt, can't be bothered.
Ignorance. Apathy.
:(

-----

TCV, and I'm not recommending the book. It's filled with ugly truths. You may end up nauseated reading it. In fact, I think everyone is just so messed up there. Everyone is inflicting harm on just about anyone. It's bound to happen, when all you care about is yourself (perhaps?)
A disrupted way of life but reality none the less.

It was very depressing reading the book (remind me not to do something so dangerous again) and I was feeling uncomfortable so I decided to calm myself with NAK's talk. *Alhamdulillah for the existence of this man. I think he helped a lot with my trying to be more acquainted with the Quran. May Allah's blessings be always upon you, brother!*

The title of the talk was: Returning To Allah. (downloadable here!)
This, I recommend listening to. :) I think it touched a lot on the problems we face nowadays. And truth be told, I think it cleared pretty much all the conflict in TCV.

A gist of what I got:
No matter how messed up we think we are, don't EVER lose hope in Allah's Forgiveness (Allah is Extremely Forgiving) and His Mercy (Allah is Always Merciful).

39;53-54
It is very common for us to shun away from people we have disappointed. How we can barely look in the eye of our friends when we know we made a mistake etc. but just what are our bad deeds to be compared to His Mercy. To sin is only to harm ourselves, and here Allah tells us to return to Him, regardless, before it's too late.

The talk also touches on us, youth's biggest problems: having little respect of our parents, and over exposure to shamelessness. And how to at least spend your time not doing harm.

-----

Oh, I have yet again decided to not take my exam but insyaAllah, will take it in a month's time. By the time which, I'll have another, smaller exam. :)

I know people are praying for me and I thank you very much for that, and please keep me in your prayers always! ;)

Have a nice Zulhijjah everyone!

Monday, October 15, 2012

untitled

:D So this post came on FB today.
On ladies going to the mosque (click to watch)

Hee~ Seriously, my summer trips to Surau KK was awesome actually.
Thank God Abah is okay with us pergi surau. Hehe. (And pergi shopping *quote Abah when Mama said we all asyik beli tudung/baju "takpelah, benda baik"* or makan-makan)

Faith in humanity, restored! :)
Hee~

-----

By the way, today I felt the awfulness of having to go out of your comfort zone.
Nauseating.
One has to do it however, the whole being uncomfort thing.
Change or die.

Oooh that was harsh.

-----

Haha.

Lets not get too overwhelmed! Work through this challenge with sabr Nora! ;) We'll get there. Slowly but surely. iA.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

na shledanou, NOT part II

Okay, I'm taking up the challenge.
I'll see you this coming summer.

Then, we'll hit Street Cafe, Seoul Garden and the likes.
And talk of all the challenges life offers.

Uri dong saeng, ittabwa!

Zizi Unni.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

dreams

I have this random dream.
To live in the US.

I remember Americans as really friendly people. Maybe because the neighbourhood we used to live in was a safe neighbourhood.

Anyway, what caught my attention was the Youtube videos by the Muslim committee there.

Seeing the Muslim committee there online makes me feel like "hey, that's actually a good society to live in".

Prolly cause they're more open to discussions. Prolly.

-----

However, other responsibilities await in my country :)
Maybe our generation can get ourselves more involved in the betterment of our society. :)

Thank God for the opportunity, to have experienced living in so many places in this short termed life. To be open enough to allow new perspectives, firm enough to go by my stands.

At least I can enjoy living in a standard I would figure as not too much, not too little. Hee~

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

hmmm

The post below, regarding the ape librarian was an attempt at clearing some thoughts. However, I feel that I need to make my blog posts more meaningful :P

I thank God to have surrounded me with good people, cause almost anywhere I am on the internet, I could click on motivating things.

And today is regarding waking up. Waking up together. Here's a Youtube link from an educator I admire, Brother Nouman Ali Khan, regarding the subject, waking up.

A reminder on getting back on track, and surrendering ourselves to the right thing.
Cause sometimes having faith is not enough, you need the right attitude as well.

Eep~
This year is about battling many things. I hope to be aware of where these all leads to. And I've been warned this journey may be the most challenging yet, so yeah, lets work hard. :)

With Allah's help, we'll manage.

-----

*below is the said blog post that needn't be read, cause to many, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever*

Oook Oook!

And she wonders how many would smirk at the remark.
The librarian lost a friend.
So the librarian buries itself in more books.
A book comforts the way a friend can not.

And to a banana, the librarian went: "Oook!"

Works every time!
Cause the thing about a banana is that, a banana, is not just a banana.
It kept the library at balance.

-----

Saturday, October 06, 2012

93 miles

Weekend means calling home, and I managed just that.

Mama ask if the green-box-yet-to-be-named is in good condition, and thank God it is.

I dropped it together with my laptop at the airport when I was heading back to Prague. At some airport cafe. Abah put on the 'what in the world has my daughter done?' face and helped replaced my laptop bag unto a chair.

It was after I got my drink that I realised he also made the effort to tie my bag to the chair. That's family for you, he knows I tend to lose focus so he added preventive measures, in order that I won't repeat the mistake. T'was a small matter that meant big to me. Maybe cause when I was younger (tak nak mengaku tua. Haha), instead of a protective measure, I would be blamed and scolded for my clumsiness. Needless to say, I was thankful sebab kena marah itu serius tak best.

If they knew that I dropped the green box dekat JPA briefing jugak, it'd be so funny. Hahaha. I had to suppress the urge to tell Mama I did just that.

Anyway, exam is coming soon, that's why I'm writing again.

And this being the last year (insyaAllah) and all, random thoughts just pop out of no where in my head.

And an ironic random thought that keeps bugging me is how I feel like I'm in first year again. Excited. And a lil' anxious. I hope the anxiety would tone down, cause I think it's making me a lil' selfish these days. Yikes.

Now that the bottled up feel has been spilled, lets Magrib~ and teruskan berusaha.

*kalau tak susah, why would they wanna call this final year kan? Just do it yaw~*

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

bang bang, my baby shoot me

Salam all ^^

Guess what, I'm done with tropical med credit!!! Alhamdulillah~ I got to know I failed it yesterday and since yesterday was spent outside, I tayar pancit when I got back. T_T
Dr Stejskal gave us subjective questions (3 each) and it was manageable today. :) I was having tremors while writing the answer.

Anyway, today, a lesson learnt is: I gotta study the map. I'm not the type to travel, or the type to know so many places, I'd rather not venture, cause then, it'll add up to the number of places I yearn to go to, in times of needing tranquil. Or maybe, I'll just Google up the place if patient require vaccination/advises on trips. Muahaha. We'll see, Nora can turn into Dora the Explorer for the break. Doufam, ze muzu :P

Can't wait to head back. I heard that someone has started the bicycle regime. Hurray! Semangat nak sihatkan diri jugak camni~

-----

Out of my 5 years of study, maybe this is my earliest flight back home so far (not to mention winter break :P) cause this year, we got to catch up on life, to make up what we've missed before, together. Hee~


If things did not happen, we wouldn't be able to appreciate this moment. 


A happy child today, 
Nora


ps: title relates to photo. no, syamee is not my "baby", i used to hear this during one winter break, on eza's playlist. just that, the architecture in Czech is one worth a Charlie's Angels post. kekeke. Bang bang! 


-----


Bila bukak KFC Online on FB today, terlihat this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vubZNERGBac&feature=related
I hope every single thing leads me to You, for I am, as of now, very far. :'(

Sunday, June 24, 2012

paranoia

It's sad how ONLY when things drive you to the edge that you become sincere.
How to remind oneself that if I screw this life, there won't be a second chance?

Things will work out with practice, kan?
And practice is with the aim that this heart holds true to the fact that, You're my only hope.

So far, the prep for Ramadhan is:
I shall have no compulsory Medical Posting in Ramadhan. Cause we did the clerkship already ^^ Lets try to go for the Subuh sermon as well, this time around. I hope they would discuss really good topics like they did last year but any topic will do I guess, seeing as how we all need the reminder.

To do next:
Ask Abah to bring us Raya shopping ASAP. 
Fill in the Habitator for Ramadhan and attain some goals (at least one please!)
Night cycling/BBing/badminton.
Prepare to be a better student and doctor.

-----

Why the blog is no longer private: cause I is now free!!!
Alhamdulillah, no more exams for fifth year! ^^
Though it scares me that I'll be having the license to kill in a year's time. Seems like this break calls for a round of intensive studying cause after some small talk over coffee with a senior, it seems like time would run out real fast. So fast that we wouldn't even have room to be depressed, etc.

(Need to stock up on really nice instant things. :D Owh yeah~ at least I'll end up as the Instant Queen this coming year of study)

I'm thinking about the necessity of a magazine for all of us. :) Or maybe just a photobook. One to glance through in future and say things like "charles university. yeah, we had oral exams" "we were once student" "gosh, we've done so much to get here" "i musn't give up, everyone is putting up a fight" "i was so thin back then" HAHAHA.

Anyway, although exam is over, I still have 2 things to be done with before being officially done for 5th year. Obs & Gyn rounds (can't wait to find out if I'll experience pre-syncope/syncope again - it's such an interesting field, but I don't have the guts -or rather, enough blood perfusion- to handle it. Kyaaa~ tak sabar actually, to go for rounds in Malaysia, cause I can at least understand the patients!)

And readers, please, do pray for all of us students around the world who are taking exams and risking our lives (with unhealthy nutrition and lifestyle, being psyched etc) to gain knowledge to serve people :). Since we are/were students, marilah bersama-sama mendoakan kejayaan satu sama lain. Prayers are the best weapon on this battlefield of uncertainty (papers, you write on them. oral exams, just scares the ****** out of you *exaggerating*)

-----

You know the things about saving up in other people's emotional account?
On how if you've a high enough reserve, then taking out some points wouldn't hurt the person that much (ie they'll pretty much forgive you?)
Well, I just though about how much we could hurt others if we make an overdraft.
That is, to begin with, there wasn't much saving in the emotional account.
And for whatever reason, you take the whole remaining chunk and some more. Which leaves you in quite a large debt by inflicting hurt on the person involved. And by hurting others, you would leave scars, which, like an overdraft, requires you to pay more than what you took out. ie forgiveness comes after a larger deposit than the withdrawal.

Maybe that's why some things aren't easily forgotten but really, we should learn to ease the burden on each other. By making small little deposits that evolves with time. Before its too late. Before you'd wish all those time you spent hating were spent loving instead.

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And I'm thankful to be able to write tonight. :)