Tuesday, December 20, 2011

ha ha heaven help me~

I decided to NOT take the exam. 
Feeling feverish these few days. 
So I took some meds.
And sleep with the fan on. Must be some nasty virus to be so febrile. :O Naughty naughty microbs! 


Ejai read on echolalia and said it reminded her of me. 
Cause I echo people's speech. 
It comes out automatically, on the basis that I love language, so if I were to speak it, I'd like it to sound like the original. 
Only this kind of behavioural misconduct results me getting the STARE from those I mimicked. Kyaaa~ Sorry, I didn't mean to offend, and I'm trying to not be an echolalia. 


Echopraxia. I do that too, on the basis of wanting to know what others feel walking/running/etc like that, and the most memorable was the one in college. 
Me and a friend were walking back from buying dinner. And since it was nearing Maghrib, people were walking to Tangga Satu to the surau for prayers. Then I saw some random fellow walking awkwardly, so I started to imitate him. 
And after a while, my friend, who was walking behind me, called me. I turned back to see segerombolan budak-budak pergi surau pointing and laughing. 
The next thing I know, we were hiding at the nearest LH (lecture hall) out of embarrassement.  


I was who I was, then I took an arrow in the knee. Ha!





-----
I think I need practice before the real thing. 
At the rate my patient care is going, I don't think it's enough to make me a doctor in less than 2 years time! Kyaaa~


Balik rumah, lets play pretend like Nina! Only with real stethoscope and thermometer and sphygmomanometer(right~) and other clinical examinations. :D Woo hoo! 



Monday, December 12, 2011

monster

You don't want to imagine the monstrosity. 
Claiming to believe, with a hard heart. 
Kibr.


What have I become?



Wednesday, December 07, 2011

sexuology

Salam all :) 
Good morning! Ha!


The lesson yesterday kinda bothered me a lot. (I'm doing psychiatry now, and yesterday we spent the afternoon at the Sexuology department)
It's sad to know all these problems happening around the world.
Sexual orientation, sexual deviation, cheating husbands and wives, pornography bla bla bla. 


And sadder to think not many of us are safe from it. 
To keep quiet and pretend to be blind to the problems won't do.
Cause one day we'll have family and children and if we don't save ourselves from what the world has become (hideous by the day), our progeny would be ruined, and as they're our responsibilities, our Hereafter won't look pretty aite?


Heck, if I don't save my own family, that'll ruin us. 


Go on, spend half an hour on this :) 
I hope it'll give insight, the future is not bleak as it seems before. 
Allah has provided us answers, from Islam, the way of life. It's our task to find it.
Sometimes solutions are so simple compared to the problems. ;)




four sided wall

If I explode in a four sided wall
Eyes would turn to stare
All of me
Shall wilt and eventually crumble


I'd die cause I can't contain the explosive


And if I explode in a four sided wall
Will I too, hurt you?


Cause today you exploded
I hate it
Cause a developing ember
Got ignited
Right here *points to heart*


-----


*puts out fire with cold water* 
*err, now smokes emerges*


-----


Writing metaphors helps me be transparent enough so that I remember what happened and vague enough so that people can come out with their own story. Ha! 


And the explanation for above post goes like this:
"We've all got both LIGHT and DARK inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on, that's who we really are." Sirius Black


From popgoesthepatronus.tumblr.com and also Sarah for sharing on FB :) kekeke

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

i need

A genuine self-actualising session. 


I think I'm missing some important things. Yikes!

bebola daging

Salam :)


Today's post, food post!!! Woot2~
My taste sense was longing for something warm and filling and though I met a failed attempt last year, this time around, I managed to make MEATBALLS yang best! Kyaaaa~ #modebahagia 


Terima kasih to lovely Jamie Oliver Sensei for his meatball recipe. (Refer "to make your meatballs" part) From which, I replaced the crackers with breadcrumbs :D


Jom layan recipe for a while:


1. Sediakan bahan-bahan. Ground beef (about 300g), breadcrumbs, oregano, rosemary, salt, pepper, mustard (not in photo cause I forgot to bring it out of the fridge :P), 1 egg.


2. Place all ingredients in a bowl (tupperware :P) and mix well. And no, I didn't use the whole packet of rempah ratus. Sila isi secukup rasa. :D 


3. I added the breadcrumbs until the mixture was easy to shape. Don't put too much breadcrumbs cause it would end up BREADCRUMBballs if you did XD. This photo is before I half-cooked them (in a microwave)


4. Ja jjan! Selepas dimicrowavekan. 


5. Cook some into very simple soup with lotsa pepper! The rest can be kept refrigerated for future use.  


:) Simple aite? Okay everyone, jom buat meatballs secara berjemaah. Wee hoo~


Lesson learnt: Gagal sekali, bukanlah gagal selama-lamanya. #thankYouAllah
Next on the list to revive: Chocolate cheesecake. 

Friday, December 02, 2011

:) see ya soon

Farewell. A sepet eyes farewell. :P It was 5 in the morning, I guess our palpebra muscles weren't so keen to keep the eyes large. (Or really, kitorang memang sepet sedikit.. Kekeke)


I was searching for photos to upload, of this lovely lady, Kak Liza, who has been giving us all insights on so many things in life ;) and found out that I have very little photos of her. :(
Alhamdulillah to have at least this little token of memory. :)


For being a sister, a friend, a wife-to-our-PPL-officer, tenaga pengajar, mother of Danish and Didi :) 
For hanging out with us, to have us around your house, for the stories, for listening to our stories, to invite us to welcome your first daughter, Danish's 5th birthday etc. 
Thank you, thank you.


Thank you Allah to have met you! 
Why must the good people goooo? :(
Sehingga berjumpa lagi! 


"Attachments make me strong
Farewells make me human"

Monday, November 21, 2011

obsgyn

Dearest Abah and Pmn Odin, 


From the first week of lesson, I have to say, I don't think I could handle Obstetrics and Gynaecology.
:( 
And I'm sorry to have to disappoint you people. 
Truth be told, I was hoping I have in my power, the ability to venture into that field.


Tapi,
1. I got really pale after watching some ultrasound procedures.
2. Watching videotaped deliveries made me feel all jelly-like, or really, I felt like a snowman melting on a chair. And my hands turned cold and clammy. And I felt nauseous. 
3. The more I watch, the more I was jellified.
4. My subconscious is stopping me from witnessing an abortion.


This is a preliminary decision though. There's still a week left this semester, 2 weeks during the summer break and prolly sometime in the sixth year and my whole HO life to decide. Haha. Pray I survive this week for now please. Tysm :)


-----
Paed ok tak? 
I can teach them kids to divert their thinking from being sick to jumping around :D Heee~ 


Orthopaedic paed? 
Decisions decisions~


-----
On a random note, how do you contain an overwhelming feeling?


This kind of curiosity is too much for the heart to handle. 
Yikes!
Being righteous is not wrong.


So I don't have to be sorry.


Blekkkk :P

Friday, November 18, 2011

when you care

When you truly care for someone, then you won't want them to harm themselves or be harmed.


Dear friend, whom I knew more of yesterday, may your sincere act of protecting her from harm be a token to get you to greater good. 


And girls, be careful when you go out. Especially if there're drunkards. Cause being a Malaysian, we have that friendly attitude, which blinds us from the cunning ways of men (women). :P


(This rant is regarding going out and having to utilise not so safe roads/alleys)  

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

i'm not dead yet

Salam readers (if there are any, seeing as how I have abandoned this blog for MONTHS!!!)
I seriously needed to put up a reminder for myself though, hence the post tonight.


-----
Most of the things in life are clearly define as right and wrong, if unsure, then it's our duty to seek the knowledge to differentiate them.
(By our way of life/religion)
There're reasons as to why we were told not to come close to some things.
Cause one thing leads to another. 
And when that one thing is bad, what it leads to is usually worse.
And when we don't have the power to stop it, the most probable thing we would end up with is a headache. 


I am responsible for my mistakes. 
I shouldn't blame others.
Lets not get involved with things against our principles anymore, eyh nenek? :)
There are so many other right, beautiful ways to do it.
Thank you Allah for the realisation.


Alhamdulillah to have given me good company whom I'm glad to know would be my comrades in my future career.
Alhamdulillah to have friends who truly care.
I pray that this bond would lead us all to His Jannah. 


-----


Fuh~ 
It's my second last year in Prague! I'm starting to miss it already~ T_T

I'm no longer holding office now, and truth be told, I'm anticipating on what challenges would lie ahead of me. :) True enough, life has been surprising. 
I hope these surprises would help me be a better person :) a better servant to the Lord. :)
Amen. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

potty

I wrote a letter to HP once.
And got a Popular (bookstore) voucher in return.


I talked about Quidditch for the personal presentation we had to do for SPM.
Pn N asked whether it is a practical sport.
And I naively answered, Yes. If you have a broomstick.


My first HP book was, however, the second one, The Chamber of Secrets. 
One of the outlet where my money goes (even now, but, on Discworld series :P) can be seen on the shelves. :) HEEE~


Tottenham Court Road. 
London.


Somehow, those long distance buses at home keep on reminding me of the Knight Bus (speed, not safety). 


-----


19 years later 


Memories are there to help us remember who we were.
Some bring sadness, some bring hope.
And most of them, brought us to be thankful, thankful that things turned out that way.
Cause for our simple minds to imagine another, why, we may end up being very wrong, very lost. 
We live in the Now because of memories. 
The Now of striving to those dreams of the greater good. (Mine spells ETERNITY)
And lets reach an end where we can assure that all is well. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

hope

Put hope on God.
He doesn't disappoint.


-----


There are things in this world, we do, so as not to hurt others. Heee.. that little panggilan untuk tak sakitkan hati (jantung) orang lain. Panggilan yang sungguh mencabar. 
Naik turun emotional bank account credit


Cause adding points to other people's emotional account may lead to higher hopes and expectation.
Which is scary cause if you've reached a certain limit, it feels very much like being in a pressure cooker. When the lid is open, semua wap-wap panas lagi merbahaya akan escape. Yikes. 
Keluarlah "who cares?" "ada aku kisah?" dan segala nenek moyang perlakuan yang tak terfikir akal untuk dilaksanakan. 
Walaupun tak buat perangai depan-depan, takut juga sebab kadang-kadang, terlintas kat hati (jantung) betapa penatnya nak menjaga hati (jantung) orang lain. 
Nauzubillah.


Tapi kalau kita dah add points into others' emotional bank, mungkin tak orang tu akan jadi lebih pemaaf atas kesilapan-kesilapan kita? "If you build a high reserve, you can take more withdrawals" Kekeke. Kenalah sendiri jadi pemaaf dulukan? Hoho. 


To hope that people won't make our life miserable if we do good to them.
To hope for something else in return of our kindness. 
Kyaaaaa~


Mungkin sebab tu, bila buat sesuatu, kena niat kerana Allah. 
If it makes people happy, then, satu point for you.
If it makes people happy, then you sakit jiwa, then one point later perhaps. iA.
If it makes both of you happy, all the better :) 


Do it for Allah's blessings, and be reminded of that "withdrawal" in afterlife, so that your own heart feels all happy and calm. insyaAllah. 


Kamon kamon! vi ken du dis! (read: we can do this!)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

it's been 4 days

Ohkay, so the days have been somewhat less occupied than what I've imagined :P


Time to work out on a more strict schedule!


------


:) I've lost some of my extra kilos. 
We went for a 15km cycle. 


Err... power cycling. 
I hope for a more flatter ground the next. I needn't build muscle tone. I have enough of those. 
I'm aiming fat burning. Kyaaaa~ 


-----


I want Taufiq's fixie, but I know that I won't be using it as much as he would. So, I shall be happy with whatever bike I end up riding. :D


Oh~ The big sister giving up on the prettier bike. Hahaha. 
Mungkin this is the result of my childhood ending. Sebab Harry Potter dah habis. HAHAHA :'(

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

confession of a longing soul

I wanna go homeeeeeeeee T_T


I'm missing everyone.
Family.
Friends.
Everyone :'(


Ish2, sikit lagi... come on you! Teruskan berusahaaa!!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

i'm not stupid

The Smooth Talker


The more we talk, the more room is given for others to make conclusions, 
Especially those wise observant others. 


The more lies you make,
The more you make a fool of yourself.


That admitting you're wrong and that you don't know,
Can, in some circumstances, be more trusting. 


Really, to have made people believe,
In your definite utterance of rubbish,
Was an UGLY act. 


If you're a doctor, and you don't know,
You may kill somebody.


Heck, if you're a lawyer, and you don't know,
You'd be the same. 


*It's really a waste if we don't investigate truth cause we'd end up doing the wrong thing, choosing the wrong person, going the wrong path* May Allah protect us all from that. 
I too fear that I haven't learnt enough. 
EEP~
-----


Ramadhan


Anyway, Productive Muslim came up with awesome PDF for Ramadhan planning~
Woo hoo!!!
Hope to do something more this time around.
I'm afraid the last Ramadhan was not spent productively.

Huaaargghhhhh :'(


Tahun ni nak plan dengan Mamalah. Ok Mama? 
Hehehehe... 


Anyway, here's the link for the 30 days Ramadhan Taskinator


Lets pray we'll get to enjoy this Ramadhan and make the most out of it yeah? InsyaAllah.
*I honestly am hoping it'll turn out better this time" huhu


-----


Pineapple Pockets


Yesterday Kak Liza and Syamira taught me one valuable lesson.
To cherish what moments we have had.
To be grateful enough to what has been given, so that anger won't enclose you.
Cause when it does, it gives very little room for forgiveness and too much room for hatred.


So often, the heart is clouded by a mistake, and then, all hell break lose, the tongue lashing hurtful words, the body signalling defiance. 
We all need to envelop the heart with so much gratitude and warmth, and prolly, even fear of hurting one another. And to know, that there exist an exception when right could be wrong. i.e. Even how right you think you are, sometimes, it's better to stop and calm the storm. 


Owh and one interesting thing I got to hear the first time is the importance of having some boundaries when it comes to being close to some people. Hehehe. :) Respect others, but don't let your privilege be taken away from you. Hehehe. This one is a lil' to private to be talked about in details, so I shall stop at that. :P Kekeke.
:) 


Since we are unsure when to meet again, we had cappucino and this pineapple pocket - thinly slice pineapple which pockets mascarpone and strawberry, then garnished with strawberry jam - somewhere near the embassy. Yummilicious *Kak Liza's treat ^^* kekeke


Pineapple pockets remind me of Tom Riddle and Slughorn though XD

Thursday, June 23, 2011

all about you

Salam all :)
It's now the 22nd. Hee~ July doesn't seem too far right now ;)
Today I lepak-ed at Syamira and Pia's place :D to get a change of studying environment. And Alhamdulillah, we shared many things today.
And it's surprising how much we have in common and how our families differ so and it's intriguing how we come to the conclusion that all families have their individual strentghs and drawbacks.
And it's so funny to learn that really, most of what our parents taught us, some lesson are learnt way pass 20. Hehe. Alhamdulillah to have let us learn things before it's too late. :)
I gotta go memorise some more drugs now!
InsyaAllah I'll write more regarding this later :)
Annyeong, goodbye, adios! Hee~ Noc noc!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

healthy food

Aka drugs. NOT the abusive type eyh, the therapeutic one :P


Today I managed to open my bottle of Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu Dan Anak. And I'm so happyyyyyy ^^ Weeee~
The trick is to have enough desire to break the bottle at trying to unscrew the cap.
It didn't break but yeah, now my palm has memories of torsional force. Kekeke. 


There's no ubat batuk that could calm my oropharynx like this one ^^
Alhamdulillah...


I'm officially sick now. T_T
Good thing it's the hols. :) I would have problem keeping my mouth shut and relaxing my larynx if otherwise. 
Well, maybe I should slow down on the singing-for-fun-cause-husky-sore-throat-voice-is-the-best as well :P
That should help tonnes. Hopefully, InsyaAllah ;)


Me wanna get me dose of codeine now. 
Nyam nyam~
Mari berusaha untuk sihat!
Seumdwa!


Today, I enjoyed reading, which is good, but I so gotta speed up. Anggare anggare arrriiiibaaaaa~

Monday, June 13, 2011

whatttttt

It is June already!!! Kyaaaa~
Half of the year will be gone soon. Class ended last week and this week's schedule will be filled with lotsa drugs (an exam on that soon!) and visa handling. Hopefully it'll all turn out well, insyaAllah ^^


What happens in June every year is I get homesick. :P It's the time when those energy recharged from last year's summer break can't be supported with just phone calls and webcams. Well, increasing the frequency may help a little though. :)


School break also means spending more time at home than usual. Which means an extended access to the kitchen. :P It's interestingly funny and highly amusing to the gastrointestinal system as my housemates and I get more creative with the cooking. :)


The studying on the other hand goes up a notch. Prolly not as intensive as last year. Eeek~ I guess it's got to do with having chronic stress due to continuous exam. Whatever it is, study we must, cause it's a responsibility. One of those I shouldn't screw. 
Okay, back to "mengikat ilmu" i.e. memorising.


Happy summer break and fighting for exams :) heee~
Salam wbt~

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

emosi

So I ended up with doughnuts, due to lack of experience with egg tart. :) Maybe the egg tart will see it's debut later in the week. Thanks to my dear KTT friend, Linah for the recipe ^^


-----


Honestly, I'm totally grateful that I get to spend some personal time with some books now :) Top of list: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Family. I wonder why we don't have this version at home. Hmm... It took me almost a year to finish it. And I'm still not done with it yet! >.<  It's so funny that when I was 13, I took less than a week to finish 7 Habits, patutlah so semangat time kecik2 :P 


It's nearing the end of school year. 2 exams, in one month, insyaAllah, before home sweet Shah Alam! And Alhamdulillah, this year, though eventful, it is definitely enlightening. I would say the best part of it is to have realise some really deep infliction in me that needs healing and forgiveness. I'm still working on it and since the people involved are doing their utmost best to change, I should too. :) 


I shouldn't hold on to grief. It kills the heart, slowly. Cause prejudice may lead to growth of a parasitic grudge. And when that happens, things get ugly. It inhibits survival, stability and success. 
Some people get over things relatively fast, whilst some are stuck in that corner for what seems like forever.
Maybe the notion time would heal all wound is not really valid. 
Maybe we need to forgive. :) 
And then, it'll be easier to move on~ insyaAllah!


-----


If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to be sorry of himself.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live. 

T7HoHEF pg 328

:) Salam 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

hehehe

So I was trying to blog these past few days but had some problem logging in to blogger. 
Sad betul. :)
But I'm back.. InsyaAllah can write again~ Wee hoo~


*today I'll be busy. Attempting to make some dessert but don't know which yet.*


Doughnut versus egg tart. :D

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

to do

"I don't wanna wait, for my life to be over"


So Abu Productive uploaded a much needed video on Youtube last week. 
I realised how I've spent some days(especially when there're no exam) being bored and EXTREMELY unproductive. Which is sad and regretful. Eek!
Alhamdulillah, to have given this chance to wake a little and start some small steps into BIG things.
The funny thing is, someone actually showed me a similar guide before, only I was being too judgemental to notice it's importance back then. So sorry! 


Betullah apa yang Saidina Ali r.a. sampaikan: "Lihatlah kepada apa yang dikatakan dan janganlah kamu lihat siapa yang berkata". 


*I must work harder to learn to love unconditionally so that I won't waste precious words and advice from people around me!*


Anyway, this video talks about our duties as human being, the point of being born and later die. How life without goals is boring, setting up goals and the type of goals to set up. The uploader also volunteers to help go through your goal and see areas in which you should upgrade on. Heee~ And most importantly, at the end of the whole planning, to go through em' goals and see how it leads you to Jannah. 


I have yet to find goals for some area. Can't imagine myself there yet (One of those times when imagination is unable to flower. I must be getting old. Kekeke)


Enjoy~



And thank you Allah for the knowledge. 
Keep on doing our best jom ;)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

not-so-classic grilled beef stew

Yee haaa~ I was recipe hunting at hanamemories (terima kasih Kak Zainab for the recommendation) cause I have no idea what to cook for dinner today but nothing seems to interest me there. 
So I headed over to Youtube and found this awesome video all Texas-kampung-ish style. And the whole cooking thing was so campak-dan-masak that I had to try it out. :D
Actually, I think the smell of the beef stew is beyond awesome right now. Hahaha.. I can't stop thinking about eating it whilst writing this. :P (I'm waiting for the veggie to soften!)


Anyway, check out this video. 




I had to make do with no charcoal grill (used the oven instead, at 220 Celcius for a few minutes) but for sure, that simple garlic-pepper-salt seasoning tastes so good! :) I sampled some meat before stewing them! Tasted like steak! Maybe cause I haven't been eating steak for a long time. Crave craveeee~~~


And I replaced lemon with asam jawa cause no lemon in the house. 
If you watched the video, you'll see how he thicken the stew by pouring flour directly into the stew! Wicked! Hahaha. 


And me have no bread to make garlic cheese bread~~~ Kyaaa~ 
I guess must wait for summer break. Malaysia ada semua! Hehehe. Okay, ini secara rasminya, menjadi salah satu misi di Malaysia! :D Oh yeah~


Hezky den everyone! :) Selamat ber-dinner!


Photos are from the cracked(literally :P) Nokia. 

Sunday, May 08, 2011

photo update


:) Heee~ Kelsey uploaded the pics already!
Anyway, this is a memory of hanging out with the Lokes when they came over to Prague ^^
From left, Kelly, Kelsey, Kim, Nora. ;) *Auntie took the photo*


And, since this was at an apartment, there were no one to shush us... Kekekeke :P
Thanks for visiting! Hehehe.. I should go visit Dubai too sometime Kim! ^^
I love MC friends! 


Alhamdulillah~

makan

:) It has been too long since a post on food. 
Nanti balik Malaysia have to start masak lebih sikit *insyaAllah*2 sekali sebulan okay tak? HAHAHA
Tapi alasan kami adik-beradik tu sangat kukuhlah: "Time duduk rumah sendiri, kitorang dah tak dapat rasa masakan mama yang sedap dan penuh kasih sayang tu dah. Kitorang balik ni, nak rasa masak air tangan Mamalah~" Wee hoo~
Kekeke. Macamlah kalau kita balik kampung, asyik nak makan Opah masak aje. Kan, kan, kan? Heee~  


Mango Fish + Cendawan Goreng. 
Okay, mango tu serius terover budget mango.. HAHAHA :P Nasib baiklah kau buah-buahan, taklah terasa kegemukan time makan XD


-----


Sempena Hari Ibu, tadi tengoklah video Matluthfi yang "ma ma ma ma" tu. Menarik cara dia ingatkan macam mana lembut betul peribadi seorang mak tu. Kan?


Ingat lagi time kecik-kecik, serius, nakal gila. Hahaha. Jadi, kalau buat salah, kadang-kadang tak terkata sebab takut kena marah. Tapi kalau buat salah sampai tercedera memang kena report kat Mama, sebab walaupun kena bebel marah, at least ada orang tolong tengokkan luka, tanpa denda. Kekeke. 
Zaman adolescent lagilah, pantang kena cabar. Fikir-fikir balik sekarang, ish, degil betul budak sorang ni. Terima kasih Mama, sebab masih mengaku anak, walau diri ini selalu jiwa kacau. :P 


I remembered being a budak yang serious and didn't like talking much. Even kat rumah pun, but then, you knew I love drinking coffee so much, and time study malam-malam, selalu ada orang tolong buatkan coffee. Hehehe. I remembered masa study kat hall kat atas, sengaja duduk dekat pintu bilik Mama. You were sleeping, but somehow, it feels like you're watching over me XD Driving force untuk study! And there were times when you worried that I haven't been resting enough, so you made sure I switch off the lights before you go to sleep. Then, when I was sure you were asleep, I switched the light back on. And tiba-tiba about 2am ada orang masuk bilik "awak tak tidur lagi ke?". Then I slept for real :) Heee~


Owh, owh, terima kasih Mama, jadi peneman untuk jalan jauh berkilometer untuk tenangkan jantung ini. :') You don't know how much I love those moments. Those were hard times, really hard times, and being with you, though we both preferred silence back then, was calming. 
Terima kasih Mama, for backing me up, masa Cikgu cakap I should be someone else. I think that was the first time this stubborn child of yours confesses her problems, aite? *menangis bercucuran air mata* I didn't know that sharing your problem was a relieve, a lightening of one's burden, till that time. And after that, I couldn't stop talking to you :D Nyaaaa~ We all ended being chatterboxes XD 
Untuk semua sacrifices, there were banyak sangat, now that I think of it. And those pun, benda yang Nora nampak aje. 
Thanks Mama, for being so tough and yet extremely loving at the same time. ^^ 


T______________T Okay, dah syahdu sangat dah ni. Tulis tak adalah banyak sangat, tapi the brain is walking down memory lane dengan penuh semangat whilst writing. *sedu sedan*




Mama, jom terus berusaha! ^^ I love you very much! Saranghae! Alhamdulillah~ 
*balik summer, we have to lipatgandakan usaha menghafal tu! kekeke*


Happy Mama's Day! From the anak,
Nora. ^^

Saturday, May 07, 2011

exaggerate till kaboom~

Whoops.. thought too much the negative way... :P 
*Astargfirullah* :'(


When we deal with problems by thinking too much of it but never practice anything to solve it, that's when assumptions start eating us up. 
Then we'll start having fear of the unknown. Eeeek... I've only just experienced that and it wasn't pretty. In fact, it turned everything so gloomy~ *Imagine dark clouds with thunder and lighting, on a very cold night. Alone.*


Of course we're to think of things, tak bolehlah selamba-ly go bertindak tak tentu hala kan. XD
Tapi untuk benda-benda berat, buatlah atas kemampuan diri. Kalau kita tolak diri kita untuk melepasi limit yang dah termaktub hadnya, sah-sahlah otak pun boleh jam. :P 


Thinking too much of a problem, won't make it necessarily easy to solve ;)


"Sometimes, it feels as if we're so distanced. Until I realised it was all in my head. :P  Silly me!" 



Tuesday, May 03, 2011

jangan putus harapan

So much to learn from you, little guy.
Subhanallah! 






Nenek, teruskan berusaha juga! Jadilah orang yang bersyukur atas nikmatNya. 
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Hari ni, bilik dihiasi dengan satu lagi reminder -> resuscitate the body. 
Exam tak patut jadi alasan untuk lemak dan malas exercise!!!

Sunday, May 01, 2011

I wish to be of help, not a burden but things don't always go as plan.
Sorry~
T_T


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I miss home so so much.
And I better polish those plans, to make them highly achievable. 


Yosh!!!
Mari berusaha menjadi lebih bertanggungjawab!

Friday, April 29, 2011

patchworks in the OT

As of this week, it's surgery for 5 weeks!!!


Class is starting to get more interesting. ^^ 


Thyroidectomy. Epic fail. 
It didn't help when you're squished cause you'd run out of blood. 
I ate a big breakfast for it. 
And almost collapse anyway. *Malu gila!!!*


So I thought I'm not fit for surgery. Any surgery.
Until cochlear implant. 
Terbaik wor! :D 
The drilling, the puncturing, and I thought the placement of electrode was awesome! 
And the assistants were so helpful with all the details. ^^


And I concluded, it wasn't skipping breakfast, it was probably the squishing. 
Hehe. 


This week = cardiovascular surgery.  
I can't help be amazed with the whole extracorporal circulation thing. Bloody but definitely out of this world!
And it's size somewhat brought me to realise, the Creator indeed is Great, how a fist sized heart could manage all those pumping for so many years...Subhanallah!
And how with magnifying glasses, suturing coronary vessels can be an art of its own.
I also learnt the importance of having small steps for short Asians as myself :P If not, can't see anything. 
This week is ending tomorrow :( but yeah, lets hope Bulovka would come out with more surprises! ^^


Honestly, I'm still undecided as to what to specialise in. @.@


Marilah berdoa untuk yang terbaik~
Weeee~


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Alhamdulillah~ 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Kim's visit

We rarely keep in touch.
So thank God, when we meet, if felt as is, we were never apart.


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The heart flutters at thoughts of someone coming to visit. 
And true enough, we always end up doing more than planned, in a good way!
Dear Kimberly Loke, thanks for coming over! 
For dinner and the interesting stories which excluded Salman Khan! Kekeke ^^
And forged signature :P 
The "girls" talk was totally unexpected and awesome. :D (Including quack doctors and free marriage advice) Hehehe :P 


Enjoy touring around and all the very best with the development thingy! :D May all be well!!!


Hiii~ 
Alhamdulillah~ (thank God!) ^^

Monday, April 25, 2011

break free from you! ha!

There're voices saying I should give up. 
"Susah sangatlah ni"
Shut up voices. 


Dear self, before you give up, please try. 
That step is necessary to break down the wall. ^^
InsyaAllah, He has written what is best.
Have faith.
And the right attitude.


I'm trying out this habitator, it's been 2 months and the results are always a little disappointing in the later half of the month. :(
Yikes! :) I'm never the expert on time management, so probably it'll take a while to get used to. Hee~
From my observation though, I find that:
I forgot to allocate time for studying, and I also didn't list out things I have to cut down so as to be more productive in the habitator. (Things like, no junking, to not sleep more than 6 hours a day etc.) 
Yup2, lets not give up and modify whatever weaknesses there are. ^^ Oh yeah! Selagi hayat dikandung badan, it's never too late to do our part! Assaaaaa~


Apa itu habitator? Tekan sini -----> HABITATOR


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O Allah, on this little journey, on what time I have left with, please make ease for what is best, for Your barakah, for Your Jannah, for I'm a human who sins, for I'm only human, for I fear your Hellfire. I am nothing, in fact, I'm a terrible person, without You. 


Ya Allah, permudahkan langkahku untuk sentiasa beribadah kepadaMu. 


Untuk hanyut, 
Serius aku takut. 
*tsk tsk*


Yang masih banyak khilaf,
Neneknora

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

how to stand back up again

Get help :)






Help me if you can I'm feeling down,
And I do appreciate you being 'round, 
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please~ please~ help me.. 


-----


Come on you! Teruskan berusaha! 
Sila lalui ujian dengan penuh kesabaran, sebagai penghapus dosa-dosa.
Owh yeah!

Friday, April 15, 2011

swinging on monkey bars

Mad and sane.


I believe I am both.


*Megalomaniac laugh*


It scares and excites me that really, between those two, there's merely this really thin line. 
We all have odd ideas, don't we.
And it's our reactions and beliefs about them which are mad or sane or both. 


-----


Today I believed I was once an ADHD child.
I'm surprised as to how I've suppressed my jumping around everywhere I go.
:) 
My uncle was nice enough to remind me that I didn't only just jump.
I climb, slide and whatnots. 


I remember being tied with my sister though because of my brilliant idea to turn the storeroom into a sliding rink.
Did you know that talc makes really good substitute for a slippery floor? Hihihi.  


Being adventurous has its purpose though.


The bug incident was at our agama school, back in Kuantan, the one we have in the evenings after school.
I don't remember the people as much as the setting though.
There was a dead cockroach somewhere, and some smartarian boys when and handled it by using a penyapu lidi (a kind of broom). 
Their aim? To scare girls. And yeah, they succeeded but they left the cockroach laying around after that. 
And guess who went and grab the dead cockroach by the hand for revenge? Me. I sneaked up on them rather than make a big deal out of it. It was an interesting experience. I didn't know till then, guys aren't as brave as they make themselves look. Aha, they're human after all. I chucked the cockroach out. 
It's weird that I did all that because now, I can't handle cockroaches. Just smelling them would make me have paresthesias on the tips of my finger. (Could it be because my fingers can't rid the memory?) Ugh.




Probably the best way to enjoy an adventurous day out is to have a partner. Mine was by the name Nur Zahirah Zamhuri. :) (I have yet to find this girl's Facebook!) My most memorable playtime with her would be an afternoon where we were cycling around our neighbourhood. And we found an interesting little puddle. :D
Guess what was in the puddle. Hehehe.
Textbook of frog metamorphosis!!! IN 3D. i.e. we saw, touch and play with real frogs! There were tadpoles, and frogs with two legs and a tail, frogs with 4 legs and a tail, and a full grown frog. A good way to study Science eyh? :D


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I totally miss exploring! :) Come next week I could go for an ORL surgery though. Lets hope it'll be as interesting! ^^
Weee~





Wednesday, April 13, 2011

pop the pills

The week has been hectic and due to some be-earlied physiology, I'm drained. 
Energy depletion.
Pop the pills.
And to dreamland I venture.  


I shall rest.
For I dare not
Allow my body to saunter
Without good hand-eye coordination
The brain pilot must not shut
Not on a road as busy as Prague.
*tram bell rings*


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Why are we still surviving? Cause we have strength to.


Alhamdulillah. 

Sunday, April 03, 2011

nan keum isseo

"NAN KEUM ISSEO"
(Tak, I tak nak makan roti nan. Ini maksudnya: Ku Punya Impian)

Okay, cuba baca dengan air muka Go Hye Mi sebelum hati dia dilembutkan. 

Hehe. 

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I like Dream High - drama.
And this song I'm introducing has really good lyrics. 
It fits the moment ;)

Go ahead and find the English translation if you have the time. 
If you don't, then this will be my little secret (unless you know Korean). 
Hahaha
.


-----
I called home yet again.


So someone when to fix the printer today and the orang kedai was in an experimental mode.
And the experiment didn't turn out well, and he insisted to try again and again. 
(If something turns out terrible after a try, it's best to change some methods of handling, no? :P Wah. Ini nasihat general! Malangnya, he didn't)
So the someone, ugut cakap dengan penuh lemah lembut, "Kalau awak print lagi, saya jerit bagi satu Carrefour dengar".
Apakah? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Mesti orang kedai tu pun tergamam sekali) 
Tapi yelah, degil, orang cakap tak nak, tak nak ah!!!
At this point of the story, I was laughing really hard already.


Trust my family to give the best stories without fail every week.
:D And I smile over and over again~


About smiling, I should put up an effort to do more of that. :)
Just because people around you are with sore faces (sampai buat sendiri rasa bersalah), don't be affected. 
SMILE. There're gazillions of reasons to. ;) 


Okay then, SENYUM semua!
Ka chak! (Camera clicks)

Monday, March 28, 2011

bilamana ku jauh dariMu

Jantung, bergetarlah
Air mata, mengalirlah
Hamba, kau tunduklah
Tubuh, menggigillah


Dan kedua tangan itu kau angkat
Minda fokus pada yang Satu
Pohonlah, pintalah
Pada Yang Maha Agung


Aku serius takut. 




but of course

Bismillah So, it has been done. A visit to the mental health practitioner. Starting therapy and new medications. Perhaps a flaw in the pl...